my stress / anxiety takes me on binges

[mitchelkester]

I've just started this program, and I have to tell you that I am ready for a change. I've been to many different counselors, and I have found no real help from them. Most have discounted what I have told them. I found that two of them had no real "world" experience when it comes to my "problems". They all had me go buy the same book, and do the same exercises, but when it came to counseling, I could tell that they really didn't understand or really offered any real solutions. I have to solve these problems on my own.
I have been on medicine, but I prefer not to do that anymore. My anxiety started with my parents wanting me to be perfect in all areas of my life, without any real or emotional support in anyway. They would laugh when I'd try to get that emotional support from them.
I've recognized recently that this anxiety is really starting to ruin my life. In order to get the control I desire, I have gone on many binges (like drinking, staying out all night, gambling, porn etc). All I do now is just function, no real feelings, I get up go to work, pretend everything is ok, I know sometime within this or next week I'll go on another binge. As you can imagine, my family is the ones that really suffer.
I am so tired all the time, all I want to do is rest, but somehow when I start to feel good about myself, I start the path of destruction again. It's getting very old.
there is a lot of stress in my life, I have two kids with muscular dystrophy, a wife that has to care for there needs. I know that I have to do this for them!

[stelo63]

Hi - first you need to do it for YOU! The rest will fall into place. I too have been at this for quite a long time now. Just been through a divorce, jumped right into a relationship (which I just ended), changed jobs (going to a less stressful position) - and am now finally ready to get myself together. I started having panic attacks back in 2001 and now they are resurfacing. I have two girls, 16 and 12 and decided that I needed to first do this for me then they will reap the benefits of a mom who is with them full time mentally. I also see an acupuncturist and that has made a world of difference to me. I still take the same medications that they gave me 11 years ago - but never increased the dosage. The plan is to ultimately get off the meds and just be on herbs. I am so ready to start this program and am looking forward to the support from all of you! We need to lean on each other, because it is very hard for others to truly understand the darkness that we live in. Know that we are all here for you -

[mitchelkester]

Thank you for commenting on my post. I have to admit, the relaxation tapes have been helping a lot. I still need to practice, practice practice. I agree that we have to do this for ourselves. I have done things in the past to get people to say "look at what he's doing or to just say "look at me" with no real hope of getting better.
Our kids and family need us there mentally.
I've been on 3 or 4 different medications from doctors. I found that as I've went from one specialist to another, they seemed to disagree with what the other doctor was doing. I sometimes think that they are all to ready to just prescribe medication without getting to the real cause to the problems at hand. I am not on any medication at all, and now with the relaxation tape, I now know the real reason for many of my problems....stress and anxiety.
Keep in touch, I'd like to know how your doing!!

[stelo63]

I will keep in touch - you too!