so anxious about my medicine!! please help

[shence]

hey guys im new to the program and im in a very bad place..i havnt been able to work for 4 weeks now because im just having such a hard time not funcioning like my old self.the anxiety has totaly overwhelmed me that its made me depressed and scared to face the normnal things..so my dr. obviosly thinks i need to me on medicine, and started me out on the lowest dose of zolft 50mg,the first week my doc wanted me to take half 25mg to ease me into it and make any possible side effects lesser.of course being an anxious person im terrified of meds and wanted so bad not to take them,but seeing how im having so much trouble just functioning normally i fee llike i do need the helping hand,i got threw the first week of the 25 mg of the zoloft with a little help from a low dose of xanax for anxiety too those first couple days..needless to say i took the 25mg for 2 weeks instead of just one because i was afraid to take the full 50mg and i had convinced myself that maybe the 25mg will be enough for me.but my dr. says that 50mg is the lowest "theraputic" dose,that you can get any of the positive effects from. and i felt like i was doing a little better on the 25mg but i still wasnt functoning normally. so yesterday i decided to give it a shot and took the 50mg..it was one of the hardest days ive had had since this breakdown started! i felt so shity and scared and anxious,the first few hours after taking it.i hadnt taken the xanax for almost 2 weeks before this and i was trying not to take it.but i was getting so anxious that i was scared so bad,i was thinking so many thoughts and my mind was racing and ifelt like i couldnt relax at all or even sit down.nothing i did to distract myself was working,listning to the program cds,self talk,cleaning the house,it just seemed like i was so wound up none of it was working.the thoughts of im gonna go crazy and i need to go to the hospital were running rampart! so i took the xanax and eventually maybe a hour later i calmed down a bit but i still felt like crap and couldnt eat anything all day.as the day progressed i calmed down more and eventually my mind relaxed a bit and i started to settle in and was able to eat a little soup and some pasta at like 8pm,and was able to relax on the couch and watch somne tv and i did sleep ok maybe 6.5 hours.but this morning im terrified all over again to take the 50mg again,im supposed to take it in like hour around 930am,and i guess im just so afraid of having to go through that again or worse.i know that it wasnt the medicine that it was me nervous as hell about taking the full amount, but still im terrified of going through that again cuz it put me in such a bad scary place i hadnt been in a while, but i know that the only way for the medicine to work is for me to take it right! this sucks so bad,its like a terrible cycle, like im holding me back from getting beter.im thinking that maybe i should take it as planned and then take the xanax right after, instead of yesterday were i waited to take the xanax untill like 3 hours later when i had gotten to that severe anxious state. i dont know what to do!? has anyone had to go through this? its just scary! i just want my life back,im so scared ill never get out of this hole..and if this medicine can help then i have to take it but im so anxious...uhhhhhh please help guys.... thanks so much!

[praying4sun]

i got anxious taking anxiety medication, i felt it was going to make me feel worse and it did, i had to stop taking it. i went through a period of craziness, meltdowns, a ton of fear and worry blaaaah it was horrible. like you are describing it. i decided to switch to anti depressants/bupropian instead and for some reason its not as scary & they are helping. The program of course is making a big difference. It seems like you have a lot negative obsesive thoughts running throught your mind- good lord do i know exactly where you are at!!!! ...... what really helped me is to go into "observer mode" and really pay attention to how many negative thoughts i made through out the day and started replacing them with positive ones- i made it like a game to catch myself thinking negative thoughts, and more challenging finding a positive thought to replace it with and make me feel better. i am still working them, but i have made steps forward. if i can do it, YOU CAN TOOO!!!!! trust me, i use to feel the weakest person on earth and now i realize how wrong i was about myself!

the sun will come out!!!!

[JNicoleG83]

I've suffered from anxiety since I was about 9 years old. As I've gotten older it worsened. A couple of years ago I talked to my doctor about it once again and not thinking I was suffering from depression, she placed me on a low dosage of Prozac. I don't know when but I did start to feel calmer, and didn't even notice the transition. I just remember that I was not thinking of the anxiety and negativity. It did effect the sexual libido a bit and believe I had some issues at first with not being able to sleep regularly. Whether this was due to the anxiety, depression or medication is what I don't know. She only wanted me on it for a year and then I discontinued since I seemed back to being stable. About 8 months ago, my anxiety made a full terrible come back and it's been out of control ever since. Like you, I of course want to avoid meds. Especially since I don't wanna be on seperate medications for anxiety, depression and sleeplessness. The program does help me when I need to I listen to it. I loaded the audio onto my iPod and am responding well to it. The fear is simply in the medication itself and the possible side effects and having a dependency. I totally understand, but as Lucinda says, seek the meds if you feel like you need it to assist you until you can regain your control. Maybe try a different antidepressant? I hope this helps...good luck!