hoping to learn

[Plastic_Starlight]

So, new to the program I guess.
All my life I operated under the assumption that I was.. normal in a sense, that everyone thought and felt the way I did, I was just really bad at keeping it underwraps comparatively. But then you start hearing people comment on how weird you are, or how dark you can be, Your friends and family start to say they're afraid of you and how you'll react to things and you have no idea what you've done to make them feel that way.

then you realize maybe that voice in your head that's hissing in your ear all the time could be right.

I've had amazing therapists and a supportive Dad who knows what it's like, but I don't want to just manage anymore. no more damage control. I want to get to the point where I'm above this disease. Beyond these thoughts and irrationalities.
Where I can live life in a way that's really living. Where I can have actual relationships without destroying them before they've begun.
I'm really hoping this works. I'm too young to be so sick of life.

I am glad though( cliche as it sounds) to see that there are actually other people out there who have an actual understanding of what's going on. people who Know what you really mean when you say " depression/aniexty". You're not faking it, over exaggerating or completely insane... It's comforting.