Day One - Number 32, or there abouts

You will gain an understanding of the causes of anxiety and depression as well as some of the background traits, personality traits, and physical symptoms.
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Amy21
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:58 pm

Post by Amy21 » Mon Aug 11, 2008 12:25 pm

I first bought the program three years ago and never got past the first week. My perfectionism was in my way. If I couldn't do the program perfectly, while eating perfectly, and exercisely perfectly then I dropped it. When I ahd the courage I would start again, but it had to be from square one and again perfectly. Thus I fell off the wagon many many times.

I am going to be 30 in November, but I feel like I am 60 or 70. I am so tired from the almost 20 years I have been suffering from anxiety and depression. People think I am joking, but I frequently tell my family and friends that I am ready for retirement because I am so tired.

This time around, I signed up for the coaching program. I think I need the acoountability. Also, I am at the lowest point ever and I can't live this way anymore so I have the gumption to stay with it. This first day has been the best first day I have ever had.

My boyfriend of eight years who was the only person I ever felt really understood me and stood by me through many of my episodes dumped me a month ago. He couldn't take my issues anymore. He loved the me he first met. I had just lost 30 pounds and had self-esteem for the first time in my life. it lasted for about a year until I was sexually assaulted on my way home from work one night. I attributed the assault to my new sexy look and over the last couple of years have gained back all the weight and then some. I now understand that I am probably trying to use the fat as a shield so men won't be interested in hurting me. I am ready to move past that point and lose the weigth and be healthy.

I look forward to striving each day to do something to better myself and move forward. My boyfriend wants to work things out and is evry supportive of the program, but I want to wait until I have completed the program and am at a better place in my life. What could be more incentive then that? I just figured out that I should finish the program the week before my 30th birthday in November. That makes me excited as well. I can begin my 30s with a new lease on life and leave the previous 30 yeards behind me.

Thanks for reading!

miss mag
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 2:00 am

Post by miss mag » Sun Aug 17, 2008 2:51 pm

Amy,
This is my third time going through the program and I have never done it perfectly but I have always gotten a great deal out of it. Just commit yourself to moving on to the next lesson each week even if you feel like you are not ready or have not done "perfectly" with the previous lesson. You will learn a lot from each lesson. After you finish the program you can always go back to the lessons you feel you still need to work on. You will not be able to do everything the program says so just do as much as you can. The program will help you be a more confident person. I hope the coaching program helps you and that you can work things out with your boyfriend.

Pinkrozes
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2008 10:36 am

Post by Pinkrozes » Mon Aug 18, 2008 4:01 am

Thank you MissMag, I was putting myself down for not sticking with the program everyday, its like permission to do it as I am able. I am beginning to wonder if I have symptoms I didn't know about.

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