Afraid of making decisions

[HopefulDreams]

Dear All,

Since my anxiety has escalated.. I'm afraid of making decisions.. Example... sometimes I feel like I want to quit my job or something... but I know those are both simply based on my anger and fear about the condition than any rational thinking. My husband has been with me through thick and thin and is SOOOOOO supportive ( he even bought me these tapes)... My job isn't exactly my dream job but it helps support our income... I want to stay at home with my children (that I don't have yet) but so despeartely want.. but can't have because of the medication I'm taking.... I'm even afraid of what kind of mother or pregnancy i will have because if this anxiety.... fear fear fear.. UGH!! I want my life back but i forgot what I'm like..

[Jacqueline26101]

What medication are you taking? I'm taking Zoloft and I am pregnant now. My doctor said that it will be fine as long as it's a low dose.

Making decisions--What is it about the decisions that make you afraid? Are you afraid of making the "wrong" decision and having to live with the consequences or making a decision based on fear rather than what you really want?

[HopefulDreams]

I'm afraid of making a decision based on fear. I already did that when I moved from my tiny apartment to my parents' second floor apartment (2 family house).. when what i really wanted was a private place for just my husband and I. I moved here because my family thought it would be best for when i start a family that i have their support (because of my anxiety history) ... I began to look at it as a fear of me being pregnant with severe mood swings and got very afraid... so I moved back to my parents home.. when I really wanted something else.
I was taking effexor for about 3 years and came off successfully. Then when I moved I suffered severe panic and was hospitalized.. only to be put on Lithium and Klonopin... Lithium because 12 years ago the docs thought I was bipolar..

Now my doc wants me off it but slowly and introduce another antidepressent because I'm still very sad, a lil depressed and anxious despite the mood stabilizer... I think maybe zoloft... therapist wants to dig into the root of the problem before alternating meds.. they're being cautious thank God.

The decision now is... do I stay home from my job and fully recover or work in the process.. I got out of the hospital and went right back to work.. just not sure of i can do another year...It's mentally draining.. but is it another decison based on fear of getting sick again?

[Genice36]

HopefulDreams

I can so relate to what your saying. I'm afraid of making a decision based on fear. My anxiety has escalate that i was so scared to move out of town with my boyfriend. I feel like i passes up an opportunity of a life time. Everyday i regret that i suffer with anxiety because all my decisions are base on What if's and this might happen. It leads me stuck in the unhappy position that I'm in. I wish that i would wake up one day and the anxiety don't exist. I hope and pray this program helps us and we all get our life's back how we remembered.

[Cthebeauty03]

ok, well im so new to all of this talking to others about myself thing. you said you were misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder a couple years ago. i turned 18 at the beginning of january and some time before that i went to a phycologist and she diagnosed me with this. i was on several medications for bipolar and some for anxiety but none of them worked but only made things worse. i took welbutrin, lithium, lamotragine, and the worse one ever ABILIFY!. i knew something has felt out of place but untill watching session one i had no idea most of my problem was anxiety. the doctor just told my mom what she wanted to hear so she just kept giving me medication to try. i feel very sad because i have to wait a week untill session two i just feel like i cant do it. i just want to change i am tired of feeling this way

[yinyang]

HopefulDreams,

I know what you mean about making decisions. I even had a hard time picking out cereal because what if I get tired of eating it before its gone. Its a ridculous head conversation but I'll stand there for 15 minutes trying to make it.

I realized that when I can't make decisions about little stuff its usually because there is something big that I am avoiding or I need to talk about hurt feelings. Of course, standing in the cereal aisle is not the best time to have a serious discussion or figure out how to ask my boss for more money.

The first thing I have to do is figure out what "big" thing is overwhelming my brain. Sometimes talking to friends about it is okay. Though, saying I feel like there's something bothering me but I can't figure out what it is makes me feel crazy.

So, usually I write in my journal. That brings it out of me. I'll find myself yelling at people for stupid stuff. That's a good sign there's something bugging me too. Have you ever tried writing in a journal?

[praying4sun]

i too am afraid of making decisions. i feel like i am always confused or in the middle of something instead of just heading in one direction... not sure if that makes sense but i have been like that since high school. i have been at my job for 7 years and it is where i have had my panick attacks, and feel anxiety on a daily base. i almost quit my job during the holidays because i felt like i was worthless at my job, and could not do anything to step up due to my anxiety. actually, that part is still true i can not move up b/c of my anxiety, but i decided to stay there and fight it. a couple of weeks ago, i got the program and it has made me feel better, i still have a lot of work to do and feel anxious on a dailly base but i think if i focus on the relaxation cd and the self talk, maybe things will change and i can step it up in my career. and maybe even move forward to session 2 =)

[Greg H]

Hi All, Fear of decisions, big issue with this guy right now, most of my memories are of poor decisions that were made in the past. I wish I could focus on the decisions that I have made that have positive outcomes, but retraining my thought process may take some time. I wish I could see in me, what others see in me.