Lack of friends

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Fri Dec 10, 2010 6:15 am

Welcome, Laneski--Good to see you are here!

Paislee

Hi Katie Lee-- How are you doing?

creamcheese · Post by **creamcheese** » Mon Dec 13, 2010 2:13 pm

I have never had alot of friends. I take it that I am very selective and look for certain qualities in people that I have trouble finding nowadays. I think most people have these qualities but are sequestered by our societal so called norms we should be following. I have only 4 really good true blue friends. they are there when I REALLY NEED THEM and come through for me no matter what time of day or night. they uplift me and never talk down to me. They understand. This is imperative for all humans on this planet. SUPPORT is so crucial!!!!
I have been a loner since I was a kid.....I felt very alone and alienated. I fought it tooth and nail. I am still fighting. Its because you are UNIQUE and are very special on this planet. GOD is watching you, and he does protect you. Never ever think you are alone when GOD is always there. Its a hard concept but it works!!!!!!

nerveball · Post by **nerveball** » Tue Dec 14, 2010 4:45 am

Creamcheese - If you have 4 friends like that and God then consider yourself blessed. I haven't had 4 friends like that in my whole life. But I do have God and although I didn't know it before, I am blessed too.

nerveball · Post by **nerveball** » Tue Dec 14, 2010 5:05 am

Wow we all have so much in common. Just think, we all could be friends because we relate. But if you think about it if we just opened up[to a certain degree] and be ourselves to the so called normal people, then we would probably find out that we have a lot in common with them too. They either just don't let it bother them or they can hide it better. Either way they are still just like us. So if we could just believe that we are ok our life would be so much easier. We would be able to recognize more friends because we would not have that wall up or our shield so that people can't get too close to us. And then we could get close to them. It's a hard job but I'm working on it. Also my expectations are not as grand as they used to be. I don't need a million friends. I just need to love and be loved. And I found out that I am now. I love all of God's children and I love myself. I don't feel it every single minute yet but I know it's true and I act accordingly inspite of my feelings. It makes a more peaceful day to say the least. Never give up on yourself, it would be a terrible loss.

Angel38 · Post by **Angel38** » Wed Dec 15, 2010 12:24 pm

Lack of friends.....yup that's me alright!! I have never felt I fit or belonged or was welcome anywhere. I also have been hurt by people so many times that Im very protective now. Other girls torn me apart when I was younger. It seems as though I dont understand all the social games people play. I don't understand the rules.... When I meet someone, if I feel a connection my true personality would be to get to know them and be a friend right away. I've found most people turn away from this like its terrifying to them. I always wondered why it seemed to me that the coldest, most two-faced people had a ton of friends and popularity. So many people gossip about one another and betray each other behind each others backs. I was never like that and never will be. I guess it means lots of alone time for me!! Yes, I am still hurt and bitter and mostly just sad and hurt about it. I would like real, mature, sincere, friends. The kind of people I can cry in front of and be in my pajamas in front of and never have to impress. The kind of people that become my chosen family and are always welcome and involved in my life.
We could all really be ourselves, without being rejected or back-stabbed or judged. ...What a nice dream.

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Wed Dec 15, 2010 2:47 pm

Angel38--There are people out there that can be your friend as you described. But it will take going through the bad ones to find them. One thing to try as an experiment is to write down the qualities you would like in a friend.

There is "magic" or "power" in putting these thought or ideas on paper. I need to do that myself for some of my goals. I've sort of lost sight of doing it lately, because I have just be struggling with this anxiety issue that is new to me.

But even now, because of my thoughts, I have found the right Therapist, this website, got the CDs and now I found Lucinda's book From Panic to Power. I am getting better without using a lot of medication. I'm getting physically stronger and I'm meeting and making new friends. These were goals of mine, but I didn't make a conscious effort to reach them via putting them on paper. I just thought them and put forth the effort needed to reach them.

Lucinda has us write down goals in many different ways. So write down your description of a good friend. Which in a way you have. Now you have to get out and about to find them.

Good Luck...they'll come to you.

Paislee

Angel38 · Post by **Angel38** » Thu Dec 16, 2010 6:52 am

Hi Paisleegreen-- Thanks for all your responses. I definately hear what you're saying. Good thoughts....Thank you !!

Moniquelous · Post by **Moniquelous** » Fri Dec 31, 2010 4:39 pm

Angel38--I can definitely relate to you. I feel like the social games are worst at work, and I'm being left behind because I don't know the rules. It seems like people are rewarded based on personality and likability verse actual competence. Very frustrating!!
I often feel like I come on to strong once I meet someone I can relate to. I've been living in a new city for the past 3 years, and still have no friends.

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Mon Jan 03, 2011 11:17 am

Hi Monique--What has happened when you come on too strong? Are you sure that is what has happened to you? It's hard sometimes to make new friends at the work place. You get a variety of people with many different personalities and values. How are you doing now?

renee johnson · Post by **renee johnson** » Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:34 pm

Every thing scares me.i scared when i work,talk,i am scared just sitting there.i am never relax.my muscle are off track and everywhere i go people are starring at me.So i quit my job and i stay at home and only go out when i have to.when i do go out my heart is beating a thousand mile per hour.even when i am at home it beat like that.i dont know what to do.If only i could relax.I know that i am beauiful, it's my posture that i worry about all day long.