Choosing to take a med or not is a very
personal choice. Making that decision, is not easy - nor is it clear cut = black & white so to speak. It is difficult in a way, getting others opinions, because we are all so very different. We all have different: backgrounds/pasts(un-resolved emotional issues) that directly contribute to our anxiety disorder & or depression + we have different levels of both of these disorders & other disorders that will effect our IMMEDIATE ability to face/feel/deal what we INITALLY need to + we all have different CAPACITIES/ABILITIES that enable us to face/feel/deal/learn/grow/evolve/change in order to recover - THE LIST IS ENDLESS ALMOST. What works for him, may not work for her/he/she/they/them.....
The best decision w/ any & all medications, IMO, should always be in conjunction w/ a medical professional, be it your reg dr + PSYCHIATRIST + PHARMACIST, ETC. They are the trained medical professionals - they are there to help you help yourself make a very well-informed decision on what is best for you - in your case, w/ your facts. In the end,
IT IS YOU WHO HAS THE FINAL SAY.
I had never taken any med's in my life, asides fr the occassional antibiotic for the flu or advil, etc. When my anxiety disorder triggered in APRIL 2005, it was bad - came on real fast = IT WAS ON 24/7. I was officially diagnosed w/ anxiety disorder + panic attacks + PTSD fr 3 different things. This all totally came out of
LEFT FIELD. I had no physical symptoms prior. I was informed by 2 different dr's, 1 being a psychiatrist w/ 30+ yrs experience - specialing in TRAUMA - that I was 1 of the worst cases they had seen. It forced my hand - I couldn't work for the 1st time in my life (I was 37 when it triggered). I was in such a bad state - I needed some help - something to help me get a grip - to ENABLE ME TO DO THE WORK I NEEDED TO DO IN ORDER TO RECOVER. Kind of like a mountain climber - you know, they use that HOOK THINGY, lol
to latch on to the next ROCK to assist them in MOVING UP further - I needed that.
AGAIN, THIS IS JUST MY STORY - 1 sm example of how meds can help.
***1 important thing I did = I knew how I felt about meds - I realized I needed the help of them, yes. However, I made the personal decision that I would do what it took so that I would NOT be on meds forever. I relayed this information to my treating dr = my psychiatrist. Now, initially - I needed an anxiety med 3x's per day + 2 sleep aids (I was only averaging 1-2 hrs of sleep per every 24hrs). So, I worked it. I attended every single scheduled session - never missed 1 in the 3 1/2 yrs I was w/ him. Next, I initiated journaling on my own - to get myself comfortable admitting what I'm thinking & feeling - then, TO FEEL THEM = GET IT OUT BABY. Next, I "schooled" myself on all thingS anxiety disorder by reading loads of books (lol, 16+ to be exact): I took notes - like in school.If I didn't understand something, I went to my professor = my psychiatrist.
I refer to all this work as HOMEWORK = self work. Again, I knew my position was my not wanting to be on meds forever - so I put myself in a position so that I wouldn't have to.
I needed to do all this work long b/4 I was even ready for Lucinda's program - due to my state @ the time. Finally, in NOV 2006 - I purchased & started Lucinda's progra. <span class="ev_code_RED">By DEC 2006, I was no longer taking any anxiety meds or sleep aids. IT HAS BEEN 2 YRS. </span> I was never complacent while taking either of those meds - I didn't just sit there & take whatever & let it work itself out - HECK NO! In addition, I was never complacent w/ my taking whatever - w/o any questions - I asked tons of questions = it was my life + my body + my emotional well being @ stake - I will ask whatever I deemed necessary.
I was further tested - In MARCH 2007, after recovering fr what I had previously mentioned, I was officially diagnosed w/ DEPRESSION for the 1st time in my entire life. Now, what I was feeling wasn't the HIGH SCHOOL equivalent of breaking up w/ boyfriend type of thingy, lol. This was scary - like an invisible BURQA totally covering my body/heart/mind/soul - to the most grim degrees. My depression, as is often common, the result of the work I had done to recover fr anxiety disorder. My depression was the result of my having had the worst that anxiety disorder had to offer for almost 2 yrs+. It was over-baring. It overwhelmed me. I took immediate action - I went back to my psychiatrist. This man, God bless him in every way - WAS LIKE THE "CIA" & THE "FBI" combined, hahahah :p For almost 2 hrs - he grilled me. I was officially diagnosed. Of course, me being me - I told him "I think I need a depress med. However, I'll be damned that I worked this hard to be able to admit & feel what I need to - to have depress try & take that away fr me - HECK NO. So, I will take a med - but we are gonna go to all that is behind why I am depressed, because I HAVE NO INTENTION OF TAKING DEPRESS MEDS FOREVER!"
Long story short, its been 4 WEEKS NOW since I've taken a depress med. Obviously, under his professional care & our work together, I made progress & was weaned off accordingly, when appropriate. Again, in my case, I knew how I felt - if there was a possibility that I wouldn't have to take the meds forever - then GREAT = that was my goal.
Now, I am genetically predisposed to depression. So, is there a likelihood that I may require a depress med again in the future, maybe - who knows. <span class="ev_code_RED">I do know me (thank goodness & finally, lol) - I will ALWAYS do what I can w/ in my own abilities & capabilities 1ST. However, I will never CUT OFF MY NOSE TO SPITE MY FACE & not take a depress med if I NEED IT. Meaning, if the depress levels reach such - that MY QUALITY OF LIFE is greatly impaired - NEVER. That wouldn't really be helping me. </span>
I look back now, on these past almost 4 yrs - wow. I am not making someone's choice for them on taking a medication or not. I just think about how under the right setting/circumstances - how medications can be a valuable tool & great help. Lord knows where I would be if I hadn't had the courage & taken them. I would still be suffering in the pits of emotional hell that are ANXIETY DISORDER & DEPRESSION - very unnecessarily. Is that living? No.
LENORE
