Longtime listener, first time caller.

[Truthworldwide]

Kucek, I know your pain, emotionally and physically. I have been on medication for a bone spur inside of my C2 vertebrae that has been diagnosed as rubbing on my nerve, causing immense and blinding pain.

Between this and suffering with the anxiety... I'd 10/10 times rather suffer with the physical distress, rather than the mental one.

But, recovery from both IS possible, I'm feeling great nowadays, even with the spur still intruding into my life. (truly, a "pain in the neck, lmao )
They can't operate on it w/o going in through my throat. Between my windpipe, arteries, and spinal column... I told them "forget it" - I'll deal with it.

Another thing I'm doing is working out again, and renovating a bathroom. Between the exercise and the project, it keeps my mentality in check.
I'm not saying you need to run a marathon, deadlift 290 lbs, or paint the Sistine Chapel... but a set of adjustable weights from Craigslist, and a Soduku book + drawing pad works wonders.

Keep in mind your family is probably frustrated and not truly angry - it's nearly impossible to differentiate between the two when you're anxious but they still love you.

Thanks for sharing your favorites Tom! I loved knowing that every thought carries a chemistry and the adrenaline would pass. So many truths around "control' were very empowering.

Absolutely. What we have to realize is that WE are in control of the fear.
I actually started listening to an older song that honestly gave me back some self-esteem... a lyric in there states "the e-f-f-e-c-t, a smooth operator, operating correctly."
Helped me get my head back on track. Plus it has a great beat!

[Kucek]

I'm so sorry! I don't know how I could of missed your reply! Thank you, I'm just reading it now, how I missed it I do not understand? Sometimes my Kindle acts up Perhaps it was meant for me to read this now, I have been up all night, a lot of pain, and now I am getting"numbing" along with the pain, so if course I am very anxious and depressed, and always worry about falling again. The program seemed somehow easier before this chronic pain and age and depression took over. I'm so terrified one day I will wake up and not be able too walk, I walk on my walker, but it hurts every step, what is odd is my back, knees, legs, and thighs only hurt when I walk, sitting or lying down helps a lot, but I know being so inactive is not healthy or good for you.

I just keep praying for a miracle, if not for total healing, partial recovery. I no longer feel like a "human being " anymore or a person, I know that to is sad to hear, I'm sorry, its hard too live, I am doing the best I can, but others, do not agree, its so hard to go on sometimes, so isolated, alone and housebound, with the pain and the panic.

I pray we all recover. Maybe I'm the "one" who does not, and I have to get that negative scary feeling out of my head, like the thought that I am dying. My Aunt says after all my pain and suffering for so long, Jesus' will help me....that's the hope I am clinging too. Thank You, I hope your pain is better and you are doing well. God bless you, thank you for your prayers and kind words

[NanaBJM]

Hi Tom
I’m back using my program again too . I am like you . I have used this program for many years . I guess we are to say we are in a practice mode again and time to refresh our skill again . Our brilliant creative minds seem to like to take over and think in old patterns . Nice to meet you and I am glad you are here again

[Truthworldwide]

Hi all,

Well, I'm sorry to have missed your replies, I've been having a rough spell here medically and Lucinda's been helping me through it. What an amazing woman.

I'm trying to check in far more often!

-Tom

[katieshrp@yahoo.com]

Kucek

I wrote to you on another forum because I feel so similar to you.

[Bryce_in_TX]

Hi Kucek. I can identify with chronic pain. At 62, right out of the hospital after a stroke, I began to experience back pain. it didn't come on gradually, but literally over night. At first gabapentin was sufficient to alleviate it. Over a year or more I had to go on stronger pain meds. It's something I live with everyday now. I'm fortunate that I get 100% relief at least for a few hours a day.

I don't agree with how you are being treated. Nor do I understand it. Performance based acceptance is from the pit of hell.

Anyway, so sorry for the physical pain, and sorry for how your loved ones are treating you. I've received so much of this type of crap through the years that I've become hardened to it. That doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt me, but the best I can do is the best I can do and I don't beat myself up over other people's attitudes. My attitude towards myself is what determines my mood. I'll be darned if I am going to allow someone else to control that.

My best to you.

Tom,

Sounds like you have a lot you can contribute to the forum. Hope you have a good week.