Ask Coach Chris

[jameys]

Hey coach.well i have trouble driving i got the CDs of the Stress and im on CD7 right now and im starting to drive but when i get to far frome the house i start haveing anxiety.i dont know why im feeling this way im doing all i can.i use to be a happy man and love to drive i would drive all over and one day i had 6 cups of coffee and a bad marriage were everything was on me.well she said that i did this and i did that wich i didnt do so now i stay down all the time.well oneday i found this girl and she was every thing i was looking for in a girl and that was about 11 years ago and now im married to her for 10 years now this feb 14.

[katie12]

Hi coach Chris,
I'm going to try to do the online chat this sunday. I'd just really like to talk to you. I feel like I'm maybe getting worse? I feel like I've had anxiety my whole life, but it wasn't taking control of me until about 18 when I had my first panic attack.. At first it was okay then it really took hold and I had agoraphobic things about me, ie wouldn't go out into public places, that kinda thing. I took a new job and was driving myself and it made me feel like I suddenly had control.. then I got in an accident (I think largely due to my anxiety) and stopped driving. I just got a new job, and I know that it for anyone, an anxiety producing thing.. but now I seem to be taking on other people's fears? I read on here someone was afraid of being sucked into the sky? And now, at times I have this fear? Primarily when I am at work and having to walk out in the open? Please help!

[coachchris]

Hi Katie,
I sent you a private message. Let's talk

[edmondleeart]

Hey guys this helped me recently. When Im really hungry my body feels jittery, I get cranky and my stomach hurts. Its hunger! We dont freak out from hunger pains, we just know were hungry.

I feel like Anxiety and panic attacks is our body saying, "Oh your in danger let me help and send you some adrenaline and help you out". I see anxiety like a giant Puppy that wants to lick your face and junp on you but doesnt know how big he is.

So when I feel that dark cloud over me, or feel my nerves twitching. I say to myself." Hey anxiety no, Im ok, thanks for trying to help, Im fine, I appreciate it though" Then I calmly breath through it.
This has helped me a lot.

[coachchris]

Love that! Well done and I like the word picture. Many of us are visual learners so that it very helpful. Thanks for sharing:)

[coachchris]

Here's a little of my story:

I am a mother of three and have been married to my husband Joe for 25 years. We live out in the in the country and I enjoy being outside, gardening, running and playing with our little black schnauzer, Katie. I am active in our church and take great pleasure in watching our children compete in their school athletics and mature in life.

Why am I here? I suffered with anxiety/depression/phobias for 30 years and can honestly say I have been where you are. Please be assured that I will do my best to coach you through the program as you learn new skills and strive to reach your greatest potential. I am here to support you and encourage you. I believe in the program and I believe in you! You have taken one of the most difficult steps already; you asked for help!! Be patient, the journey will be well worth it. Trust in yourself, trust in the program.

What is my story? I will begin by saying that low self-esteem was at the root of my anxiety/depression. I internalized many of my emotions during my early teen and adult years. After college my fears escalated, affected by both marriage and children. I went for seven long years watching the world shrink away, while my health and anxiety problems grew. When our oldest child was starting Kindergarten I came to a point of such pain it pushed me to wanting a healthier life, gain back control and stop making choices based in fear. My husband and I made the crucial decision to relocate to a smaller town leaving the big city and many of its pressures. Following the move a lot changed. I felt I had a safer environment and began to do the activities that before would have caused me a great deal of anxiety. (Helping at school, going to church, meeting the neighbors) Two big turning points for me were launching a bible study in my home and getting to the doctor to diagnosis my stomach troubles. (Which had begun right after marriage) I can sincerely say that within two years of being in our new home, I was making good progress.

Jump ahead to 12 years ago and another relocation to where we now presently live. My father was ill, we were building a home, the kids were in a new school system, 9/11 just transpired and I knew no one. Talk about external stresses added to an already overly analytical, obsessive thinker! Well, needless to say, I ended up in the emergency room. I was on Paxil and Xanax for a year until the stresses diminished and am very thankful for proper medication. Following these events I spoke with my neighbor who is a coach for StressCenter and she told me about the Combatting Stress and Depression Program Program. Everything I was doing on my own to manage my anxiety/depression came together with the program and the 15 weeks of personal coaching. Each lesson was like a precious jewel to me. It all made sense. I am so thankful for all the knowledge I have learned. I have been panic free now for 12 years and have been coaching with the center since 2005. I am confident I have all the skills I need to live a healthy, joy filled life. That brings us back to YOU. I know with your willingness to invest your sincere effort in learning and applying the principles and strategies taught in the the program program you too will also gain the results you desire. It is my privilege to be with you on this journey. You can contact me anytime by email at stresscoachmattice@gmail.com or 888-480-6785

[coachchris]

Happy Monday Everyone. I am soooooo ready for Spring to get here. The sun is shining today and it feels great. Still cold but March is almost here

I was reading through some new material today on mindfulness training and learning how to accept adrenalin and negative thoughts instead of always fighting and pushing against them. There are FIVE P's that stood out to me:

PRACTICE, PURPOSEFULLY, PRESENT moment, POSITIVE thinking. Be PATIENT with yourself. This takes time to break these bad habits.

Would love to hear your thoughts.

Here to help,
Coach Chris

[DannyC]

Coach Chris,

Does the program have to be taken in 15 weeks consecutively with out any breaks. I started the program a little more than a year ago. have been taking 1 lesson at a time. I am having trouble attempting to complete the program. Right now I am on session 10 but I skipped session 9. I have not gone through all the lessons and I'm still suffering from anxiety and mild depression. Therefore I ask, should i stop now and restart the program to actually do the lessons week by week.

Anxiously typing,
DannyC

[chord1970]

Coach Chris:

A little history - 20 years ago I was diagnosed mildly bipolar. This diagnosis was given only due to rage fits I had that I would black out in rage and something drastic would bring me back to reality then I'd go into an immidiate deep depression sometimes even suicidal depression. After 8 years of counseling, learning coping tools and medication my diagnosis is now clinical depression. Last Friday I had a rage fit for the first time in over 15 years. It scared me. I have never been told I have anxiety except when dealing with major life events such as divorce; however ready the first step I wonder if that isn't really the base of my problem and the depression feeds off the anxiety.

I have learned tools and always take my counseling seriously but I also have learned that I will never be without my depression. It is a constant battle that I fight and I get very tired of the fight. My main issues are that I get tired of trying so hard to function in the world and be happy. Is it really always going to be this hard? When I get this tired I start to give up. And if I don't pull myself up and start fighting again I slip into suicidal depression easily. I have learned how to tell when I'm headed down that road and always seek professional help. I've been in both in patient and out patient care in the past. My last suicidal episode was 5 years ago after a divorce.

Change is very scary to me and always brings on depression and/or anxiety. Any kind of change, good or bad throws me off. So here I sit realizing after my rage fit last week that I haven't been fighting the fight all that well. I've been going through the motions of life the past year or so with a few true happy times, but for the most part being codependent on my job and no self care at all. I have always been codependent and the last marriage that ended due to this (my choice to end it) I chose to not seek any type of romantic relationship again. As since I seek out those I can 'take care of' so I don't have to take care of myself it is best for me to just not be romantically involved. Well that works except I found something else to be codependent upon - my job. I work non-stop and I do very little self care. I shower every other day, never wear make-up or fix my hair, do nothing but sleep and work, emotional eating, etc. I stress so much that I can't get all my work done and I take everything that happens at work personally - thus the rage fit last week - I finally was just pushed over my limit. There are weekends that I spend with extended family (sisters and nieces and nephews). I have friends but always seem to find excuses to not participate in outings - usually I have to work. I isolate and withdraw and I'm right back where I have been so many times. What the hell is wrong with me, why can't I be normal, is this really a life long fight, will I ever be able to function day to day and really be happy or do I have to go through life pretending and faking it for the majority of the time with very little true happiness?

I even went to a hypno therapist two years ago because one area of change that I fight with is my weight. I really want to be healthy, but I hold myself back from excercise and eating right - part of this is due to scared of the change and part of it is that if I start and even remotely mess it up I consider it a failure and stop completely. I've done this so many times in my life I can't even begin to count. I fear I will do the same with this program. And that scares me - if I don't see it working or miss a day or anything that I will just quit because I hate to fail. The hypno therapist ended up telling me that I still needed to work on my inner issues and figure out the root of the negative self talk as there were way too many areas for her to be able to hypmotise me and have it work. As I was scared of success, scared of failure, scared of change - all stress me out so much that I need to figure out why and which ones were the worse in order for hypno therapy to work. I only mention this because I actually found it interesting that I wasn't as far along as I thought I was so to speak. Again gave me the thought of this is a never ending fight - if I have to literally fight to get out of bed and shower every morning how in the world will I ever get to that point that I can function like any normal person?

All just thoughts, and information - any input that anyone can give - if you've been here, are always here, have advise or just support I'm interested in hearing it. I do want to try this program. I just hope in my heart it helps. At least I've learned enough that I'm not always crying and wanting to die. But if I don't do daily self care how in the hell is that really that much better? I mean really - I'm 42 being able to take care of myself every day should be a natural not something I have to fight for.

I should add that I function at work fairly well. I get my job done and have lots and lots to do. I focus and do well, I'm in accounting. It is when I have to interact with others that is often a problem, I get frustrated easily and very defensive. Fortunately I have a job I don't have to dress up for and work for a small company and report directly to the owner who tries his very best to deal with my 'attitude' issues because of the quality of work I produce, some day that will not be true and I won't have work either. Then what?

c

[coachchris]

Danny and Chord,

I sent you both private messages. Thank you for your posts.

Coach Chris StressCenter.com