help! anxiety back after a year

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 4:23 am

Sleepless Mom,
I'm so sorry. That can't be fun, but it's going to be O.K. You have many options, and you still have the fact that you have been withdrawing from a medication to consider. Maybe telling yourself some of the following will help: "O.K., it's this bad again. I've been through it before, and although it wasn't fun by any means, I dealt with it, and it definitely didn't kill me. I got better before, and I can get better again."
You already mentioned that you know what it is, and you have the program. I think that's a big step.
I'm praying for you.
God Bless You,
luvpiggy

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 3:15 pm

luvpiggy: Thanks...I am doing better and feel that I am getting on track. I used a small amount 2mg of valium last week before bed (which I haven't used any since August 2006), and I have realized that the HORRIBLE weekend was in part due to stopping that - a rebound anxiety thing. I think my body is very sensitive to medications even with short-term use, so with my psych's advice I went back to the 2mg at bedtime, but I will start a slow taper off of it in a day or two. I know that is so addictive and I hate taking it, but there is no reason to torture myself while I am waiting for the 5mg Paxil to kick in (which is still lower than my old original dose). I hesitate to say that it is ALL due to rebound from medications...it's so easy to want to blame something else for this state I am in, rather than accept that is me. Reminds me of your "blue day" post. I am still accepting that I have this condition I guess. But partly we have this condition because we are so sensitive, and we worry about our loved ones, and these are not necessarily bad traits! We just can't take it to the extreme that it makes us sick. Thanks for checking back with me. I am lucky to have a supportive husband, who pointed out that although I may have FELT as bad as I did in Aug. 2006 (back at square one), from the outside perspective it wasn't quite as bad. Partly because we had learned so much the first time around. So now I am comforting myself as you suggested: "I made it through before, I have the tools, and the support system, and this website." I appreciate your prayers.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Feb 19, 2008 8:50 pm

I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner, because I was thinking about you! I just wanted to tell you that I too wake up shaky. I've done it for a long time, and it took me a while to realize that it's the Anxiety.
For some reason, I started say "buzz buzz buzz" to myself. I know it sounds silly, but I felt like my body was just buzzing, like with an electrical humm, every time I wake up and saying that over and over reminds me that that's just what my body does.
It also helps me if I eat a protein snack before bed. Low blood sugar (for me) is the fast track to body symptoms that cause panic. Unfortunately, here I am at 3:30 am, awake because I ate a piece of cheesecake before bed and it gave me stomach issues, another big starter for body symptoms.
So, maybe if you eat some protein before bed, it might help and just remind yourself that your body just does that, regardless of what's going on in your life will help?

We're here. (((HUGS)))

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 3:32 am

Well,
Because of my experiences with xanax withdrawal symptoms, I know that medication can cause rebound attacks, and they just are worse than "regular" panic attacks. I had them pretty bad, so sometimes it is the medication and not just blaming it on something outside of yourself. There was a dose of Paxil that worked for you, so I don't think you should feel bad about taking the Ativan and getting back up to the dose that helped you. If you know you're having a rebound attack, I think that can help you get through it easier. I didn't know I was having rebound attacks. . . just didn't understand why my anxiety spiked so badly and that's what made me feel so bad. Now, I know what happened. You know what's happening so that will help.

As far as worrying about family, I do understand. I do have my son with severe autism. One of the things that helps me is that when ever I go to worry, I stop myself and say, "Am I going to worry about this or am I going to pray about this?" I start to pray. You, know God is real. I've seen Him work in miraculous ways. My son is not healed, but I've seen God at work. All I can do is find out as much as possible about this God that is real, and tap into His love, and find peace in the midst of the storm. He does promise us that that is possible. Ofcourse we don't want bad things to happen, who would want that? But God does promise us His love and peace no matter what.
I'm just in this situation with my son where I can't control the autism. I can do what I can on my end, but it's really not enough to cure him. I have to give him to God. He could escape and die because a lot of children with autism can do that, and all I can do is put on his global positioning bracelet, insist that his teachers at school never take their hands off of him, and that's all I can do. I don't want anything bad to happen to him, and all I can do is pray, and know I did what I could on my end. It's scary to realize that, but it is the truth. I have to give him to God because as much as I love my son, God loves him more. Maybe that will help you in worrying about the people in your life. Still praying for you:).
God Bless You,
luvpiggy

Gman5256 · Post by **Gman5256** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 3:59 am

sleepless mom: I always find my self talk and relaxation breaths calm me and get my mind off of the anxiety thoughts. It is so easy to be anxious. It takes alot of focus and time to be able to relax yourself, but you can do it. I am so grateful to have found this program. Sometimes just hearing the voices on the CD's bring me to a peace of mind place very quickly. This program is the best thing I have done for myself. Remember that most of the time when we have these setbacks, it is not for long. "thoughts only thoughts" I always say this and it helps me through the tough times.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 10:14 am

RoseQ:
It makes me feel better that someone else knows this feeling. It is such a weird feeling, like you are wired to an electrical outlet or something. I like your Buzz Buzz Buzz. I woke from a brief much needed nap this afternoon with that feeling, and thought "well, that is just what I do." It reminds me a little bit of my own "Bumpity Bump Bump" phrase. Recovery can be a slow process, and it is hard not to get discouraged when you suffer even a minor setback. So I would say to myself "bumpity bump bump" meaning "this is just and expected bump in the road...I am still on the road." I had protein at bedtime last night, but then my son woke up with a fever, so I was up for 2 hrs with him. Will try more protein tonight, but I am really trying to under-react about this whole insomnia thing, hard as it is.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Feb 23, 2008 5:02 am

luvPiggy: nice to hear from you again. You certainly are facing a lot of challenges. No matter what we do, there is no way we can keep our kids 100% safe, so I just have to do the best I can without making myself sick, and hope and pray for the best. I read on another post you made about your horrible rebound anxiety with Xanax. It sounds like exactly what I went through. It is awful. This time I am on valium which is longer acting and not "supposed" to rebound you, but I still think it does for me. I did have a lot of stress, and the Paxil probably got too low for me right now, but I took a valium one night to help me sleep and within 12 days I was crying hysterically. I do not think that was a coincidence. But I am kind of stuck for now, because I have to taper off very very slowly even after only using it for a week or two. I hate it. But it is making things OK and I can get through and I am only a little spacey. I swear this will be the last time I will use a benzo. It is not worth it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 4:55 am

I'm sorry that that has happened. It looks like when you get back up to the dose of Paxil you need you will be O.K. One thing about me is that after a bad reaction to Paxil which happened very quickly so it won't happen to you, I pretty much knew I couldn't take anti-depressants so when I was on the Xanax, I was just on the xanax and wasn't using it to adjust to an anti-depressant so I think your situation is different. I don't want to scare you by any means, and I hope I haven't scared you. It's just if you are having problems with the benzo, you need to know that that's what it is and you will get through the time better while you are waiting for the Paxil dose to get readjusted. I notice that all of these nice people on here have tips for helping you with your anxiety like deep breathing, positive thinking, etc., and you can keep implementing those techniques while you are dealing with all of this. I'll keep praying for you:).
God Bless You,
luvpiggy

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 3:13 am

thanks luvpiggy. I am actually doing much better now. Thank goodness because this past weekend my 4-year-old came down with the flu (he is still sick), and my husband, who NEVER has to work on the weekends, had to work ALL weekend. But we are hanging in there.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 6:49 am

I wanted to say that what we perceive as setbacks are not setbacks. I've been using the program for a while, but I still have small panic attacks. I just get really scared for some reason and I get shaky and start to hyperventilate. Some people would see this as a setback, but I see it as an improvement! Instead of panicking for hours with no apparent cause, I know exactly what I'm feeling (scared) and I know exactly why (we were talking about death and I got scared by thinking "what if my fiance dies?"). I held his hand while I was scared and I started crying. This was out of nowhere to him, but he held my hand and told me it was OK to be scared but I didn't have to be. He was there and even if something happened to him he would still be here with me. I'll never have to be alone even if I think I am. I was able to calm down and feel OK again in only a couple minutes. I definitely see that as a success!

Even waking up with panic attacks may feel like a setback, but it may just be another bump in the road. I don't think I'll even be "cured" of anxiety because the thoughts and feelings will still occur to me. I just have to know how to handle it. There are no setbacks, just continual progress.