Sick of it

DMP720 · Post by **DMP720** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 2:34 am

Im really in the need to let this all out.

Im so sick and tired of this. Sick of feeling this way, sick of being down, sick of not being able to do everything I want to do.

The past fewweeks have been extremely challenging. Anxiety has reached an all time high(for the past few months) and I want to just curl up in a ball and GIVE UP. Why is beating this SO HARD? Well most days its so hard but some days are like wow..that was great.

My obssesive thinking keeps coming back.(That what if I have a panic attack and im alone and it kills me, even though I KNOW its not true) I talk to my theapist about it and all I get is the same answers. I just feel so HELPLESS today.

I know this is just going to be a setback..but why. Why now after life was getting to be SO GOOD??

Any other program vets..,.feel this way at times'?? Please tell me im not alone!?

My fiance calls this side of me ANN(for anxiety) He says whenver I get down and beat myself up its ann talking. Its weird but true its like a little monster gets in ur head and just doesnt stop!!

Feedback please??
Thanks

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 2:54 am

Hi,

I am only on week three of the program. But for the past 4 years I have suffered really bad with anxiety and depression due to medical conditions. I know how you feel, just when you think, it's getting better, I am doing well and then the bottom drops out again. I don't know why this happens, but it makes you lose hope, I know. But just remember, it will get better again. God as a reason that we are going through this, we don't know why, but he has a plan.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 3:39 am

DMP720-
I am soooo feeling the same way! The last month I have been really feeling bad-anxiety is a mess! I feel sick to my stomach, not eating like I want to, not enjoying activities, not feeling like going out, crying etc. I really want to feel better. I fear fainting while driving or fainting in a store etc so I don't want to go anywhere when I feel like this, and plus my legs feel a little weak and I don't feel so strong in my body. I go to my therapist and hear the same things over and over again: "nothing is wrong, stop thinking like that, push yourself to go out". No one seems to know how I really feel. I want to feel better, but I can say that this morning has been better than other mornings that I have had recently! I am tired of worry about my health etc, only to find out that I am completely healthy.
Just wanted to write and vent to someone! Thanks for reading.

-ME

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 3:50 am

Booksofpsalms

Its good to vent..thats what this thread is about..lets all just vent..it feels good..and it is good for you.

But also...when we vent we need to try to be positive also...so lets positively vent

Winter stinks...I think thats another reason why I feel terrible

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 3:52 am

I find my self saying this time and time again. And from what I keep reading, everyone else is in the same place we are. I ordered the program Sunday evening and am waiting for it to arrive. I'm such a skeptic about things and if this will really work but at this point I'm willing to give anything a shot. I've literally not left my house since last Tuesday, with the exception to be taken to my dr appt by my husband. We can't let this beat us. I won't let it beat me. I went to Barnes and Nobles online and ordered a few books about anxiety and depression. I got Dr. Weekes book about nerves and calming them, found it a little hard to get into. I did how stumble upon a book by Robert Handley called Anxiety & Panic Attacks: Their Cause and Cure. Its so easy to read and gives some good advice, so I have something to help until the program gets here. As I've said in my previous posts, I'm just glad to be learning that I am not alone in this battle. And this support system is amazing. Good Luck to everyone, we can all do this together!

wifeandmom · Post by **wifeandmom** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 4:04 am

Christine, it won't beat you!
If you have the determination and will power to over come this you will!
I didn't leave my house for a year and atfer just doing the relaxation session for the first time I left my house! I actually walked out onto my deck and saw that my husband was across the alley at our neighbour's garage. I used the relaxation tools and just started walking, having to stop every few steps until suddenly I was there!
After week 4 I looked at my husband and asked him if we could go for a drive. He drove and I just told him where to turn and we ended up at my parents' house.
Trust me, the program works! Watch the introduction video and just go from there. Take it one day at a time and don't have high expectations. Don't do the typical "I should be doing this..." or "Why am I not better yet?" It will happen for you, it just takes time!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 4:05 am

I understand where you are coming from. Winter is the worst for me because I am "locked" up inside a house or at work. I don't want to be like this anymore. It really gets me down and I have episodes where I cannot do anything for myself at all. But I know that I can do it if I just put my mind to it and not let the little demons inside and push me around. DMP720, I totally understand about the little demons that get you down. I just pray about it and talk with my therapist more and this forum and chat rooms really help alot. Without this program, I dont know where I would be. It's somehow calming to know that there are other sufferers out there and that we can do it together.

Take care of ourselves first, then we can take care of others. God is on our side.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 4:45 am

The problem is not winter. The problem is not that you have OCD. The problem is not that you have anxiety disorder. The only problem you have is resistance to what you are experiencing. You are trying to "get rid" of how you feel. You avoid things, places, etc. which is another form of resistance.

Stop trying to control how you feel and practice allowing the thoughts, feelings, memories and sensations to be there. That's where your peace will be - in the accepting and allowing.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 4:54 am

It's interesting Boon answered and with the quote that he did. . .from Dr Liebgold. Because, I was going to recommend his program or at least his book to you. He talks about a "boo voice" that is inside your head that everyone has. . . and the sooner you learn to blow off that voice, the more calm you will be. Boon has it 100% right. . .trying to "get rid" of how you feel just makes you more focused on it. It's such an irony but it's true.

The less you think about how you're feeling, what you're thinking, what will happen, the more free you will feel. I have found I just let those thoughts be but do things anyway and slowly the grip is getting lighter on me. It's a good feeling.

BTTRFLY · Post by **BTTRFLY** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 5:06 am

Again, I agree with Boon. Let the thoughts and feelings flow in and than flow out. Don't resist them.. After awhile, it loses it's affect and has no choice but disappear. When you get a chance, pull up all of Boons past posts. Read them, ponder them.. Very educated, soothing advice!!!

Robin