Where is "Life without Limits"?

AnnetteW · Post by **AnnetteW** » Thu Jun 05, 2008 12:41 pm

Last night as I started reading "Life without Limits", I found Lucinda sure makes you start to ask yourself- Where have I been? How did I get there? And was that where I wanted to be? And what do I want when I get where ever I want to be? As I started to journal, I feel better than I did yesterday. But in some ways I wish I felt better today. I have been dealing with a fungal infection and know that I am getting better, but in other ways I am still feeling lousy. The past few weeks I have had my symptoms come rushing back, and ask myself why. There are several questions I keep asking myself but can't seem to find the answer.

See I had gone the past 3 months, feeling great and just knowing in my soul that I had gone to my next chapter in life. I honestly felt that I was not trapped by my anxiety any longer. We had gone through a very dificult trial in our lives and I had done it with strength and self confidance and continue to know that even though it was tough we was blessed in so very many ways. So I really don't think this is where I should look.

As I look back I know that I have never felt that I was quite like everyone else. I always felt that I just wasn't quite what everyone else could be, or if I was ever quite as good or together as everyone else.
At that point in my life I really never let that bother me, or I seem to think. I eventually became a nurse, and that seemed to be where I found contentment. I worked very hard for a very hard to please group of physicians and was under an incrediable amount of pressure. When I left there I knew I would never want or be the same person again. I loved nursing, but I didn't love what it can come to make you to be.

After this we had the trial of living with and caring for my disabled father-in-law for a year. With very little releaf, and I must admit I felt quite trapped. After leaving that I started working with disabled children, which again I had the trapped syndrome. As I left that job, we had our daughter and her family move in with us. I never really thought of it as feeling trapped. Or maybe I never let myself feel this. Shortly I was told to not work, so I must say we would have never been able to make ends meet without their help, you see we had just bought our house. So as with any purchase like that, morgage comes with it. See we all split the bills. So even with this some trials came with it, she was still a blessing. So much with my panic/anxiety close living and crowds bother me in so many ways.

Later my husband and I started building ourselves a small cottage, we call our little piece of the world. This is where the 3 months of feeling I had finally found my inner comfort and peace. To make a long story short. We moved back into our big house to finish and repairs to your home.

Now that I am back in here, I find myself in my origional delima again. I keep asking myself: Is it something in the house?
Is it coming where I place my panic/anxiety and
therefore that is bringing them back?
Is it that close quarters again?
How can I get beyond this again?

Sorry my letter is so long, but I hope talking and thinking about it might bring me to realization, and peace of mind.

Inside Man · Post by **Inside Man** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 5:58 am

Hello Annette W,
I have not read "Life Without Limits" but I have read "From Panic to Power". Good book.

Quote: As I look back I know that I have never felt that I was quite like everyone else. I always felt that I just wasn't quite what everyone else could be, or if I was ever quite as good or together as everyone else.

I can relate to you. I felt the same way. You have been through some trials and as you said, you have done it with strength and self confidence. Continue to hang to those traits. You sound to me like a very strong, capable, and caring person. You are blessed. We all have our down moments and doubts. It's only human but only you can decide how long you will stay there. Then get on with your life. Out of those several questions that you were asking yourself, the one that stands out in my mind for you is how can I get beyond this again? Look for the answers there. You have done it before. You can again.

All my best
And may God continue to bless you and your family
<span class="ev_code_RED">Inside</span> Man

KDlady · Post by **KDlady** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 8:04 am

Hi Annette!
It sounds to me like you're dealing with association anxiety and that can be exciting and good news! It gives you the chance to feel it all and know it's just because being back at the same place you felt anxious before, it's bringing back memories. That's all they are; memories!
It seems like you're very strong and this can make you stronger!
It's discomfort, but not dangerous and will pass the less focus and attention you give it.
Be proud of all you're doing! Way to go!

AnnetteW · Post by **AnnetteW** » Fri Jun 06, 2008 8:25 am

Thank you both so much for your kind words and encouragement. And Inside man you are so right. I left out the most important question of all. We can and will get beyond all of this. If only we learn to slow down and enjoy the precious moments. And thank you kdlady for the encouragement.

love to you both.