assertiveness

littlered · Post by **littlered** » Mon Aug 25, 2008 2:31 pm

I have always been a people pleaser and always wanted people to like me.
I have just finished the part of this program for assertiveness and thought I would put it to the test.
I like to be busy but I really am feeling overwhelmed this week w/work, classes and preparing for craft show in a few weeks and I also have a memorial service to go to out of state this weekend so needless to say I am too busy this week. I offered to help a friend move and said Monday evening would be ok not realizing that everything else was going to happen this week also and I was just too overwhelmed. She called me and I asked her if she could find someone else and started to explain how overwhelmed I was but she hung up on me.I tried calling her back several times but she would not answer her phone. I drove to her house and left a note on her door apologizing but now my evening has been ruined because I have been thinking that I may have destroyed our relationship. I realize I should have kept the commitment once I made it and explained that to her on the voicemail.
I guess I need to say no before I make a commitment. That was my first lesson in assertiveness.Has anyone out there tried to be assertive maybe in the wrong way and it backfired?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Sep 02, 2008 3:50 pm

I think your friend needs to be a little more understanding. Unfortunately, events occur in life that prevent us from keeping commitments. You did not set out to break a promise to our friend. I hope she comes around and you can put it behind you. Good luck.