This is something that really annoys me, and I believe its a trait of an anxiety disorder.
I had an incident today at work, I had the doctors 15 mins after work today, I was going out the door and a supervisor said, "You need to finish that before you go" I said "Look I have to get to the doctors" he didn't listen and just walked away, I got rude angry and said "There is more than me in here" I really had no time, You know what Friday night traffic is like, I suppose I got angry because he didn't even listen to me so I said what I had to say and walked on, now the guilt is eating away at me and the "What If's" what if I get the sack, what if I get told of, what if, what if. I just feel guilty so easily and now it will ruin my weekend until I see him again on Monday morning.
Thats just one example, but another one being I was sick not so long ago and needed a day of work, I was tortured with guilt and what ifs all day.
Do you get this? Have you any advice?
Why do I feel guilty so easily?
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monty'smom
- Posts: 151
- Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2008 3:14 pm
Hi dj,
I swear that my picture was in the dictionary under the deffinition of guilt most of my life. Mine came from my upbringing and it just became worse as I got older and I really feel myself that it many times has to do with a learned behaviour and being people pleaser. We are so good at wanting people to like us, respect us and behave the way we treat others. We aregood and kind to everyone but ourselves. We usually work very hard at our jobs and seldom miss work.
It's going to be hard to overcome until you really start to love yourself and can build up your self confidence and self worth so that when you are sick or need to leave work for a doctors appointment you can truly feel you are worthy of doing so and it's what is best for you. I guess it's being able to allow yourself to be kind and giving to YOU!
I am still struggling with the guilt rollercoaster at times but have made a lot of progress by being more compassionate to myself.
Not sure if this is helpfull at all and I'm sure others will have some helpfull advice for you.
One more thing, worrying about all the what if's will do nothing but make everything worse and will NOT change anything for the positive so please try to feed your brain good energy and things that make you feel more positive, favorite music, a funny movie, a walk, etc.
Best of luck for a better evening and weekend.
I swear that my picture was in the dictionary under the deffinition of guilt most of my life. Mine came from my upbringing and it just became worse as I got older and I really feel myself that it many times has to do with a learned behaviour and being people pleaser. We are so good at wanting people to like us, respect us and behave the way we treat others. We aregood and kind to everyone but ourselves. We usually work very hard at our jobs and seldom miss work.
It's going to be hard to overcome until you really start to love yourself and can build up your self confidence and self worth so that when you are sick or need to leave work for a doctors appointment you can truly feel you are worthy of doing so and it's what is best for you. I guess it's being able to allow yourself to be kind and giving to YOU!
I am still struggling with the guilt rollercoaster at times but have made a lot of progress by being more compassionate to myself.
Not sure if this is helpfull at all and I'm sure others will have some helpfull advice for you.
One more thing, worrying about all the what if's will do nothing but make everything worse and will NOT change anything for the positive so please try to feed your brain good energy and things that make you feel more positive, favorite music, a funny movie, a walk, etc.
Best of luck for a better evening and weekend.
BELIEVE YOU CAN CONQUER ANYTHING~ AND YOU WILL !! I DID IT, YES !!!!!
Hi DJ
it sounds as if this is the classic guilt syndrome that most of us here have and unfortunately people do take advantage of that. Bosses especially know that you are reliable and when YOU have something important to do they can't believe you said no.
Good for you for sticking up for yourself, sometimes you just have to put ME first. If you are sick you are sick. Try and think of it the other way - if you are sick and go to work then you may infect other people and i guarantee you they will call in sick with no guilt. You therefore did them and your boss a favor!
it sounds as if this is the classic guilt syndrome that most of us here have and unfortunately people do take advantage of that. Bosses especially know that you are reliable and when YOU have something important to do they can't believe you said no.
Good for you for sticking up for yourself, sometimes you just have to put ME first. If you are sick you are sick. Try and think of it the other way - if you are sick and go to work then you may infect other people and i guarantee you they will call in sick with no guilt. You therefore did them and your boss a favor!