Why Am I So Scared Of Change?

dj417002 · Post by **dj417002** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 12:59 am

The amount of self help books and programs I have is shocking, you name it I have it, Everything from Brain Tracy to Tony Robbins to this program. I went through this program a few years back and it was a half assed attempt, The amount of knowledge I have I should be the next Bill gates or Steve Jobs but instead I am going no where fast. I never use the information, What would make a person so scared of change? Can you understand what I am getting at?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 2:30 am

I understand what you are going thru I am going thru the same thing-I too have taken this course and read books etc-therapy -medication-and still I cannot get it together-if I do it is for only a very short time then I relapse like I just lost my dad and then 2 weeks later my best friend 47 died of heart attack-my dad always said change was a sign of progress but I dont see that-hope you get an answer because I need one too.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:46 am

Humans are creatures of habit. I noticed that when I go certain places I always park in the same place or really close to it, go to the same stall in the ladies room at work, eat at the same place or eat the same thing everytime I go to a restaurant. Basically you call them habits but it really is fear of change or the fear that if I change or try something new will it be more horible than what I have. Well I realized that if I am hurting myself and others with my way of thinking(agoraphobia,anxiety, panic attacks)then it's just as if I was hitting myself and others with a blunt object. So I figured if I couldn't figure out how to change this inner mind I could start changing things outside of my mind. I started parking somewhere different, I try to notice when I am doing something I always do and I try to do something different than that. I've noticed it's actually spilling over into my mind set. If you are a creature of habit like I am try it out I'm telling you it's hard to reconize what your doing but when you can it's just like parking somewhere else you can change your parking spot in your mind.

Carolyn Dickman · Post by **Carolyn Dickman** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 4:07 am

When you change, you become a different person. You might think of becoming different as not being you anymore. Maybe you could begin thinking of changing as trading in the old green station wagon for a new red sports coupe. You'll also enjoy your own company when you start using some of those skills you've got in your tool box. Changing isn't about making ourselves better for others. It's about becoming the best we can be for us. If you are like me, you spend a lot of time with yourself (

) and if the self you are with is happier, more capable, etc, then that time will simply be higher quality time.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 4:35 am

I'm very scared of change as well. I can barely stand the way things are, but I'm scared to be any other way. I've been "this way" for so long, it's almost comfortable to know how I will react, feel, etc. If I change, I don't know what to expect. I've been in therapy for a long time, taken meds for a long time, but have been very resistant to all of it. It's easier to stay the way I am than to work hard to try to change. I am very lazy in most aspects of my life, so it's no surprise I would be lazy in trying to change as well. I was hoping this program would do it all for me, but I owe it to myself to work hard. I'm close to losing my job because I can't get it together. I have anxiety, but my big issue is depression.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 12, 2009 5:06 am

This post is so fitting to me right now. This week I start session 12 on change and I feel like Im evolving into someone else but not really quite sure. I always have this black and white thinking so Im thinking to myself "well people are always telling me to be myself but then there telling to me change at the same time" I noticed I DO park in the same spot, and I DO eat the same things, and I DO talk to the same people, and I even walk on the SAME treadmill in the gym everymorning!! SO Im hoping that this session will be a breakthrough for me. I never even thought that I was afraid to change but I guess I am.....

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 13, 2009 11:31 am

I agree with Pecos. When I started counseling and going through this program I started to change. I told my therapist that I didn't know who I was anymore or what I was supposed to do. She said I kept myself in the anxiety because I was comfortable being anxious. I struggled with moving forward, but I did it and feel wonderful. I look back at my old anxious self and just cannot believe I was comfortable with that way of life.

I really dedicated my time to this Program and am so happy I did.

Good Luck

Lisa