Is there a better way of putting it?! This seems to have become my nightly ritual. Actually, it helps me relieve some of my built up tension... a way of venting! Tonight it seems my mind and heart are in a race. My hearts seems to be catching up with my racing thoughts and the chamomile tea and slow jams seem to be aggrivating me more than helping. Tonight my boyfriend and i got into a fight (he's been drinking) He has been up and down on my motorcycle (it's been raining) He is making me a nervous wreck. I dont think he fully understands the things he puts me through. We have been together for a year and a half... It has been a rough year and i'm to the point where i cant take it anymore.I'm tired emotionally and physically. I WANT TO BE HEALTHY AND HAPPY!!! is that to much to ask for?? i need to make changes... did i mention i'm devastated of changes?? so, how does one make changes when they are scared of it. I have tried walking away from the relationship and then he plants this guilt trip on me... He is killing my spirit and playing with my mind. It's almost 3:30 am and i promised my grandmother i would take her to church in the morning. Lets see if i try and get some sleep. Goodnight all...
Ali
anxiety... blah
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Guest
One year. Boyfriend.
Those 'guilt trips' will never stop. I know because I have been there. 7 years.
It only gets worse. In my case a lot worse.
Had I had someone to talk to then someone that would actually 'hear' me. I would have gotten out a lot sooner.
Maybe (just think on this) this time should be for you. A growing season. you won't be left alone, you mentioned you have a grandma
As far as making 'changes'.. It is only a choice. 'Thinking' about doing something is always more challenging/fearful/scary than actually just 'Doing it'.
Just Do it. Then you don't have to think about it anymore.
Time for you. Time to grow. Time to find peace.
Anyone or anything not aiding you in your journey should not matter, because this is FOR YOU.
<peace>
Those 'guilt trips' will never stop. I know because I have been there. 7 years.
It only gets worse. In my case a lot worse.
Had I had someone to talk to then someone that would actually 'hear' me. I would have gotten out a lot sooner.
Maybe (just think on this) this time should be for you. A growing season. you won't be left alone, you mentioned you have a grandma
As far as making 'changes'.. It is only a choice. 'Thinking' about doing something is always more challenging/fearful/scary than actually just 'Doing it'.
Just Do it. Then you don't have to think about it anymore.
Time for you. Time to grow. Time to find peace.
Anyone or anything not aiding you in your journey should not matter, because this is FOR YOU.
<peace>