Being to Sensitive??
Hi. I am just wondering if anyone knows if it is a personality disorder to be extremely sensitive? I know I have always struggled with anxiety and being shy. I get nervous in social situations or around highly intelligent and super confident people. I don't know it my low self esteem was inherited or maybe from teen years having a very critical best friend that always put me down and ridiculed me. I have so much time being alone that all of this runs through my mind constanstly. Like why am I so reluctant to try new things and I just stay home and dwell on the negatives. I know I want to get better and I have the program and am always reading self help books etc. Eventually I hope I will absorb everything and make changes. I am so upset with myself that I let others hurt my feelings so easily and then I end up crying in front of them. i then feel really crazy and like I am so weak. Some of my family members look at me like what is wrong with you. It is so hurtfull. I beat myself up for weeks over situations or being put down. I usually can joke or laugh but when it gets out of control then I do get hurt feelings. In social situations I get nervous and then start to perspire and get shaky and anxiety sets in. I am using the breathing and it is helping if I can catch it in time. I just hurt so much because this social anxiety and fear of failure and always being treated like a child or with no respect hurts. I always remember dr. phil saying we allow people to treat us the way we let them and it is so true. If I defend myself then I get called crazy or what is your problem you are so weird etc. Please can anyone help me to learn how to deal and handle this. I am trying and want to get better. It is horrible to always feel so lonely, depressed and like such a misfit. Some of my insecurites could be from my childhood and my dad was a alcoholic and left my mom when I was 5 and I am the youngest in my family. All my siblings are quite a bit older so I always felt like an only childhood and can't relate to alot of there child memories because i wasn't around. Oh I am sorry to vent I just have lived in here for 2 years and have no one as far as friends and this is my only positive network. My husband doesn't communicate well and family members in other states don't understand my hurt and pain. At least I have 4 beautiful children and I want them to be secure and happy and not deal with any of what I have lived through. Hopefully I am just having a blah day and things will get better I pray.
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Guest
Good morning, Ali. I feel mcuh the sme way you do, and I get nervous and shaky in social situations, worried about what people think of me, disapproving of me, etc. I am also easily hurt by criticism, as I am always on my own back to be better, and very self-critical. I have a few friends, limited by ability to trust people. I got the program two weeks ago, and am hoping it will help. The relaxation tape helps temporarily. I am hoping this is the answer for me, and that it is just going to take a couple months to feel better. You are right, most people don't understand anxiety disorder. You get advice to relax, settle down, not take things too sewriously, etc, which is certainly not part of our makeup. We would if we could, right? Anyway, I too am nervous and concerned if this will work for me. Stay in touch, I think we have a lot in common. My guess is that you are a terrific, beautiful person who is very in tune to other people's feelings. 
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Guest
Hi ali04,
This is so common with many of the people who suffer from anxiety, panic and depression. I feel myself it is due to a lack of self esteem and how we think so poorly about ourselves. I know for me it does come from never feeling I could please everyone and a lot is due to my upbringing. If we don't get positive responses from our parents as children I feel we learn to think " if we can't be good enough for them than we aren't good enough for anyone"...and feel inferior inside.That's just why I think I'm so sensitive to others. I could never please my Mother growing up and she was always so hard on me about everything. I have very little self worth and self esteem and have been like this since I was about 10 years old. I am now 54. The program has helped but I have a long way to go still. I'm hoping that by the time I complete it that I will be able to control all those negative thoughts and not let people hurt my feelings so easily. We must learn to love and like who we are as people. We are very strong in so many ways and yet so vulnerable in other ways. i hope we can overcome this battle and stop worrying about what others think and be comfortable with who we are...people who don't set out to hurt others feelings and who care deeply for everyone but ourselves. You are never alone, so many are feeling what you feel so reach out anytime you need to. Others here will be there to help in their own way.
Be kind to the good person you are!!!
This is so common with many of the people who suffer from anxiety, panic and depression. I feel myself it is due to a lack of self esteem and how we think so poorly about ourselves. I know for me it does come from never feeling I could please everyone and a lot is due to my upbringing. If we don't get positive responses from our parents as children I feel we learn to think " if we can't be good enough for them than we aren't good enough for anyone"...and feel inferior inside.That's just why I think I'm so sensitive to others. I could never please my Mother growing up and she was always so hard on me about everything. I have very little self worth and self esteem and have been like this since I was about 10 years old. I am now 54. The program has helped but I have a long way to go still. I'm hoping that by the time I complete it that I will be able to control all those negative thoughts and not let people hurt my feelings so easily. We must learn to love and like who we are as people. We are very strong in so many ways and yet so vulnerable in other ways. i hope we can overcome this battle and stop worrying about what others think and be comfortable with who we are...people who don't set out to hurt others feelings and who care deeply for everyone but ourselves. You are never alone, so many are feeling what you feel so reach out anytime you need to. Others here will be there to help in their own way.
Be kind to the good person you are!!!
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Guest
ElaineOB, Thanks for your reply. I am glad you got the program and so hopeful that it will help us on our journey to recovery. It always helps when someone else can relate to some of the same symptoms, so you know you are not alone. This is a tough disorder but I am hopeful we can beat it with the right tools and attitude. We can honestly say as we get hurt easily that at least we know we have feelings and are caring people. Keep in Touch and we can help each other through this. You also sound like a very caring and loving person. The relaxation does work and I need to use it more. Thanks again for your kind words and Good Luck.
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Guest
y own. I never have understood how some people can be so critical and mean and it does not even effect them. I guess we just are overly nice and others must sense we are vulnerable. I feel the same as you as I just want to work this program and learn from it how to handle being hurt easier where it doesn't effect me so much and give the person that dishing it own that sense of satisfaction. I admire people who strong and confident and only hope to become that. I know it will take alot because of who I am. You have helped so much and I really thank you for all the encouragement. I think you are well on your way to recovery and it seems as though you have come along way and that is so awesome. We can really learn alot from others and the advice given. Good Luck to you and Thanks again.
Originally posted by monty'smom:
Hi ali04,
This is so common with many of the people who suffer from anxiety, panic and depression. I feel myself it is due to a lack of self esteem and how we think so poorly about ourselves. I know for me it does come from never feeling I could please everyone and a lot is due to my upbringing. If we don't get positive responses from our parents as children I feel we learn to think " if we can't be good enough for them than we aren't good enough for anyone"...and feel inferior inside.That's just why I think I'm so sensitive to others. I could never please my Mother growing up and she was always so hard on me about everything. I have very little self worth and self esteem and have been like this since I was about 10 years old. I am now 54. The program has helped but I have a long way to go still. I'm hoping that by the time I complete it that I will be able to control all those negative thoughts and not let people hurt my feelings so easily. We must learn to love and like who we are as people. We are very strong in so many ways and yet so vulnerable in other ways. i hope we can overcome this battle and stop worrying about what others think and be comfortable with who we are...people who don't set out to hurt others feelings and who care deeply for everyone but ourselves. You are never alone, so many are feeling what you feel so reach out anytime you need to. Others here will be there to help in their own way.
Be kind to the good person you are!!!
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Guest
OOps Montys Mom I don't know what happened to have my post. I am still learning this system. I just want to thank you for all your kindness and you have helped me so much so far. It is so encouraging to know how much you all care and that we are all dealing with alot of the same emotions etc. Hopefully I will learn how to reply the right way ha ha. Don't have a clue what went wrong. Thanks again.
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Guest
Hi Ali,
I can so relate to the things you are going through. Like you, I have struggled with this since I was a child, and I'm 36 now. I think there is definitely something to the hyper-sensitiviy theory, but I also do know that re-training your brain's negative way of viewing things can help tremendously. Granted, this is easier said than done, but the more you practice at it, the better you will get. I have been through the program twice, and I still struggle with things, but have also come a LONG way. I think that the longer you have been struggling, the more time it will take to re-program the crap that has been burned into your brain over the years. Some recover much more quickly - my hunch is that they have not been suffering for so long. Trust me - there is hope! It takes work - some hard work that really makes you challenge your old ways, and takes you out of your comfort zone. But it is the only way to getting better. If you do the work, you will be rewarded for it!!
Keep in touch. Like you said, we can definitely help one another, and that's why we're all here.
John
I can so relate to the things you are going through. Like you, I have struggled with this since I was a child, and I'm 36 now. I think there is definitely something to the hyper-sensitiviy theory, but I also do know that re-training your brain's negative way of viewing things can help tremendously. Granted, this is easier said than done, but the more you practice at it, the better you will get. I have been through the program twice, and I still struggle with things, but have also come a LONG way. I think that the longer you have been struggling, the more time it will take to re-program the crap that has been burned into your brain over the years. Some recover much more quickly - my hunch is that they have not been suffering for so long. Trust me - there is hope! It takes work - some hard work that really makes you challenge your old ways, and takes you out of your comfort zone. But it is the only way to getting better. If you do the work, you will be rewarded for it!!
Keep in touch. Like you said, we can definitely help one another, and that's why we're all here.
John