Does it get worse before it gets better...

ThePaperPlate · Post by **ThePaperPlate** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 1:02 am

So I'm in my third week of the program and for some reason the past few days have been really bad for me. All of my issues seem to be piling on me at one time. I don't want to leave the house, every little pain that I feel I think I'm dying. I just want to cry cry cry. I want to be better, I want it so much that it hurts. I don't want my job anymore (911 operater) but in the day and age who can afford to quite. I want to go home put myself in my bed and pull the covers over my head and stay there FOREVER. I'm sitting here at work trying not to cry or run away screaming. When will I start seeing a change with the program? I don't know how much longer I can hold on to my sanity.

change · Post by **change** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 1:37 am

Hi Paper Plate, I'm sorry to hear about what you're going thru right now. Please remember it is temporary. You have the power to take back your life.

Sometimes I think we expect to have immediate results. This program takes time. You are on session 3 so you are just beginning. Give yourself credit for all the strides you have made so far. Don't let these past few days knock you down. Get up and put your best foot forward. Focus again on staying in the moment. Do your breathing and when you're getting those negative thoughts, shut them out and replace with positive ones. This is so important. Don't believe the negative ones. We create these totally unrealistic thoughts.

I'm on session 4. It stresses how we have unrealistic expectations about things in our lives. It is so true. Everyday will not be perfect.

Stay with session 3 and do your relaxation tape everyday. You can come up out of this. Look your anxiety in the face and say you're not going to control me anymore. I'm going to control you!!!

Good luck and God Bless!

shevy · Post by **shevy** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 1:40 am

Hello - it does seemingly get worse before it gets better. Your attitude is most important - stay positive, understand that this is about you, you are in control and you will overcome.

debster · Post by **debster** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 2:26 am

Hang in there!! I definitely had some setbacks, difficult times. I really found journaling helped during those times. Just keep working through it and ou will see the change and it is well worth it.

jhgygh786 · Post by **jhgygh786** » Mon Jun 16, 2008 1:09 am

You must be alot stronger than you're giving yourself credit for here if you can handle being a 911 operator.

klkroy · Post by **klkroy** » Mon Jun 16, 2008 5:26 am

A 911 operator!!! Not only do you deal with your own life but everyone else's emergencies too. Wow, I am in awe because even though I am feeling tons better and starting Session 5 I am still struggling with not getting the anxiety from other peoples problems and situations. You must be doing something right so please give yourself a pat on the back and continue on the road to recovery.

LindsCT · Post by **LindsCT** » Mon Jun 16, 2008 5:39 am

Try to think about it this way - you've had your whole life to develop negative behaviors and reactions to situations around you. This program is teaching you ways to re-train your thought process and recover. It's going to take a while, and yes, it's going to bring a lot of emotions to the surface. That being said you are definitely on your way to recovery.

It's ok to be anxious! That's one important thing you must remember. It's not going to kill you. You are going to have your bad days but know that you CAN get through it. With the program and the support you have here on the board you cannot go wrong.

Best wishes!

Schpludoinkle · Post by **Schpludoinkle** » Mon Jun 16, 2008 5:57 am

Hey. I noticed that I have had worse days than I did before after starting the program and therapy on the side. And I know it's because I am realizing now where all of my problems are coming from and exactly what they are. Everytrhing is a lot clearer now and for some people that makes them less anxious and for some it makes them more anxious, but like Emma said, it is a good thing. My first therapy session I cried a lot remembering my traumatic experiences, but my therapist reminded me that it's good because it is bringing those feelings up, which means I can allow myself to let them go. I also have made myself more anxious thinking I would see more results faster, but that is me having unrealistic expectations. I have seen some results and instead of focusing on that I have been focusing sometimes I what I haven't seen, which we shouldn't do. I know you feel horrible right now, and nobody wants to feel that way, but it will go away. Give yourself time to adjust to your mind changing and your life changing. Do whatever you can to help you relax. What I find really helps me is a hot bath at night and I pour lavendar oil in it, which is a natural stress/anxiety reliever. You have been better before and you will get back there!