Bad Morning but feeling Hopeful

DebDeb · Post by **DebDeb** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 2:50 am

Gah! Everything and anything that can go wrong DID this morning.

Didn't sleep well thru the night, twisted and turned, while my hubby was snoring

Then the alarm rang and didn't get up. Needless to say, I was running late 'again' -Rushed to get dressed, rushed out the door, and got stuck in the most worse traffic jams I had ever seen in a while- it was like it was the end of the world and every one was fleeing the town.
Got to work late ang had to make up an excuse

My positive affirmations are;

It happens to everyone occasionally
Your day will get better -You haven't been late in a long time
You will enjoy St Patrick's day Dinner
And you will get up earlier to anticipate delays no matter how little sleep you had!!
You are PMS'ing which makes my stress 100 times worse
You avoid the a.m. crush by procrastinating but you are
only making it worse for yourself by leaving late
Give yourself more time in the a.m.

I am seeing a pattern here; I give myself needless stress by leaving for work later than I should be. I get to bed late.
I am avoiding the hellish commute mentally and I set myself up for a stressful morning. Kind of like a vicious circle!!

Anyone else AVOID situations just because you don't want to deal with them?

jess23 · Post by **jess23** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:03 am

ALL THE TIME! Sadly!

I'm a bad one for trying to do too much in the last 10 minutes before I leave (like I freak out and try to get everything done - laundry, pets, mop the floor, iron, fix dinner ahead of time...stupid stuff!

) and then making myself late!

Do you have a CD/tape player in your car? Maybe you could set aside this time as "ME Time" to listen to the program...or an audio book or something.

I take my son to school (so I don't listen to the program with him in the car), but we just finished listening to The Spiderwick Chronicles on audio. I was looking forward to that time travelling...in traffic...go figure!

Just a suggestion! Hope your day gets better! I think your positive affirmations were right on track. And giving yourself something to look forward to (dinner) is a great way to improve your mood as well.

Here's to shamrocks, Midol, and drivers who know how to merge properly!

Happy Monday!

Best,
Dawn

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:24 am

Hi Dawn;

Geez that's a LOT of stuff you do before getting
out the door! & the same with me but I just procrastinate and become slow as a snail because of my avoidance anxiety. I REALLY have to work on this. But it's hard when I LOATHE the commute, and dread the nightmare-ish jams.

It has gotten better - but I always Fall back to my evil ways LOL
I have been looking for another job closer to my home but it's so hard to find anything right now with the economy in shambles. Lucinda says not to make any major changes until after the program so I'm not sure if I don't like the commute because of my anxiety or if the commute
is what's causing most of my anxiety. (probably
a little of both)

I will have fun at the Dinner!! And take my
Advil or Midol-Aunt Flo always comes at the worse times & makes stress worse LOL

Thanks for your encouragement.
That's a great idea, I will start bringing the Sessions with me and I bet it will make time pass quicker while I am stuck in traffic and stressing out that I will be late. ---But I won't be stressing because I will leave earlier!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:29 am

Yes I do avoid situations ........to avoid conflict. I'm on session 4. As I avoid situations I create higher stress within myself. I am seeing what I thought was good for me in the moment was fine, but for the long run its horrible. Suppression is what I do. Alot like you I have challenges sleeping through the night. I often find myself awake...but with peaceful thoughts...sometimes they drift me back to sleep and other times then don 't and like you here comes the alarm and the sun. What I have started doing is waiting to see what can be done when I get home from work so I don't overwhelm myself before the day gets started. Focusing on the "should part" Yes we love to come home to a clean house....it feels good.....but if the stress of doing it at a certain moment over rides the feel good...its not worth it.............Have a wonderful day.....and keep your favorite focus in sight!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:32 am

The problem is...I don't actually get any of it done! LOL I get a lot of it half done...talk about setting myself up for anxiety! :p

I think you're probably right - it's a little of both! Leaving earlier will help this a lot for you, I would think - at least the traffic SHOULD BE better!

Happy driving! (And I know what you mean about Aunt Flo...she's so RUDE like that! LOL)

Best,
Dawn

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:46 am

Originally posted by Prv31Mom:
The problem is...I don't actually get any of it done! LOL I get a lot of it half done...talk about setting myself up for anxiety! :p

I think you're probably right - it's a little of both! Leaving earlier will help this a lot for you, I would think - at least the traffic SHOULD BE better!

Happy driving! (And I know what you mean about Aunt Flo...she's so RUDE like that! LOL)

Best,
Dawn

I am going to bring my cds with me tomorrow.

Maybe by lowering your expectations (as Lucinda says) and setting up a more 'do-able' list you can prioritize your chores
Try making a list in priority order and just do a few of them in the a.m. and the rest could wait.
Hope this helps!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:48 am

I tend to not like mornings and I am not sure it is anxiety or just morning!.

I have two kids and I need to take one to school for my wife. Since then, when I go to my office I am never able to get to work by 8am. Now, my work and boss are flexible and I have adapated, but, it still gets to me.

As for getting up last minute, if I did get up sooner I could help my wife more, etc. I then get into a rush mode with my 6 yr-old son, which is not fair to him and sometimes even stress over the drop off line because you are not suppose to dilly dalley and I don't want the other parents getting upset.

I am learning to just relax and roll with it.

On the weekends I will sleep till my wife makes a sarcastic remark, but I think cause it is hard to wake up and go about my day without a defined direction. Sometimes the work week is a relief to me cause the program is in place. Get up, drive to work, work 8 to 5, home, dinner, kids, bed, repeat. When the weekend comes and I don't have the 8-5 portion identified, I don't always know what to do with myself.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 3:54 am

Originally posted by Believer08:
Yes I do avoid situations ........to avoid conflict. I'm on session 4. As I avoid situations I create higher stress within myself. I am seeing what I thought was good for me in the moment was fine, but for the long run its horrible. Suppression is what I do. Alot like you I have challenges sleeping through the night. I often find myself awake...but with peaceful thoughts...sometimes they drift me back to sleep and other times then don 't and like you here comes the alarm and the sun. What I have started doing is waiting to see what can be done when I get home from work so I don't overwhelm myself before the day gets started. Focusing on the "should part" Yes we love to come home to a clean house....it feels good.....but if the stress of doing it at a certain moment over rides the feel good...its not worth it.............Have a wonderful day.....and keep your favorite focus in sight!

Prioritizing is important- I should get up earlier -one of my most important 'shoulds!'
but like you said if you're having trouble getting to bed early/staying asleep it makes your morning start very slow. For me it's the vicious cycle of anticipatory anxiety in the pm.
I am a night owl and procrastinate getting to bed early & then I don't want to get up in the a.m. It's as if mentally I am avoiding going to
work. & not dealing with the hellish commute.-But if I just change my bad habits--eg get to bed earlier, and leave the house earlier it would solve the problem.
But I still think overall I just don't like the
commute situation and avoid it like the plague.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 4:03 am

Originally posted by Engine2:
I tend to not like mornings and I am not sure it is anxiety or just morning!.

I have two kids and I need to take one to school for my wife. Since then, when I go to my office I am never able to get to work by 8am. Now, my work and boss are flexible and I have adapated, but, it still gets to me.

As for getting up last minute, if I did get up sooner I could help my wife more, etc. I then get into a rush mode with my 6 yr-old son, which is not fair to him and sometimes even stress over the drop off line because you are not suppose to dilly dalley and I don't want the other parents getting upset.

I am learning to just relax and roll with it.

On the weekends I will sleep till my wife makes a sarcastic remark, but I think cause it is hard to wake up and go about my day without a defined direction. Sometimes the work week is a relief to me cause the program is in place. Get up, drive to work, work 8 to 5, home, dinner, kids, bed, repeat. When the weekend comes and I don't have the 8-5 portion identified, I don't always know what to do with myself.

We are such creatures of habit-- why do we set ourselves up for unnecessary stress -if we just could change our habits- I too hate the mornings.

Bryan De · Post by **Bryan De** » Mon Mar 17, 2008 4:55 am

Try telling yourself you want to instead of I should. I've been using this lately with things to get me a little more motivated. Instead of saying to yourself "I should get up earlier and I should leave for work earlier" Say "I want to leave earlier for work because I want to get to work on time and I want to feel calmer when I get there." Of course if you don't want to be at work at all I guess your brain may not buy it. Worth a try.