Hello All! It has been awhile since I've been on here. I completed the program over 2 years ago and have been doing fantastic!! But my wedding is next Saturday and I'm experiencing the nervousness that comes along with it.
I thought I would post on here more for my benefit than any. The program absolutely changed my life. I'm 29 and after the program, I've gone back to school and a few weeks ago modeled on stage (in front of 300+ people in a wedding gown for the first time!) So for those of you who question..will this program work, YES IT DOES!!! But Lucinda teaches us that we can't live a life without anxiety. It is how we deal with the anxieties life presents us that is key.
So I'm posting because I'm starting to feel the anxiety over my upcoming wedding. I'm having a smaller wedding with only 75 or so guests but a large reception (200+ guests). I wasn't nervous really until today! Its as if those old panic symptoms are returning. But I'm not afraid, I know what they are and I know they won't hurt me. And I know it is NORMAL to feel this way..I'm getting ready to take one of the biggest steps of my life!
So what is bothering me? I've come up with a few things it might be;
I'm worried I won't possibly get everything done that needs to be done this week. I have work, school finals and all the final prep for a wedding..and only 6 days.
I'm worried that I will be so nervous on my wedding day that I will have some type of body symptoms that will make me so uncomfortable I will faint or not be able to say my vows. Bottom line, public humiliation in front of my friends and family.
I'm worried of what everyone will think of me.
I'm worried whether or not I'm doing the right thing, marrying the right man.
I'm sad to let me childhood go. I won't be the "baby" of the family anymore. I will be a married woman. I will be married to one man the rest of my life.
I'm worried I will let my husband down. Will I be a good enough wife? Will I be able to give him the children he so desperately wants?
What if I forget the vows? What if I faint in front of all of my friends and family?
What if he is unfaithful to me after we get married?
Here I go..what if'ing again! I know I'm doing it. I know that this is only anticipatory anxiety and that nothing will happen as I worry they will. I realize my body symptoms (i.e. nervous stomach) are only a result of my what if and negative thinking.
I am making the right decision to marry my fiance. He loves me and is the man I have always dreamt of marrying. I love him so very much.
I will be a beautiful bride. I love my dress, my jewelry and my hair do. I can't wait to see how beautiful I look on my wedding day.
It will be fun to see all my family and freinds gather to join my fiance and I on our special day. How lucky we are to have so many that love us so much!!!
I am so lucky. I'm healthy and I have a family and a man that loves me so very much.
If everything doesn't get done..who will really notice..or care? I will get everything done and if it doesn't turn out exactly as I envision, it will be ok, I get to marry the man I love next Saturday.
All of these symptoms won't hurt me. Almost everyone feels anxiety leading up to their wedding, it is ok to feel this way.
I will not allow these feelings of anxiety distract me from getting accomplished all that I need to accomplish this week.
There..wheew. I feel better already! Thanks for listening to me. ; )
Just to Share - A Journal for my therapy! My upcoming wedding!
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