just lost my dad and need help soon

hall234200 · Post by **hall234200** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 7:43 am

I just lost my dad a few days at age 53. He died at church and they think it was a heart attack. I'm like freaking out and my heart has been fluttering alot and I have been feeling wozy. I'm scared to death that something is going to happen to me from the stress. I have been dealing with heart flutters for a few years, have had all the test done and everything has come back normal and I have had tons of ekgs thats come back normal. Right now I'm like froze up, I'm scared to even move thinking i will have a heart attack. Someone please help me, i'm scared to death and dont know what to do. Is all this normal?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 8:09 am

I am so very sorry for your loss!! It is completely normal what you are experiencing! Not only do you have anxiety but you have just lost a close family member suddenly and unexpectedly which would make any "normal" person have the same exact feelings. I lost my mother to a sudden heart attack at age 52 and I know how painful it is. It is seven years later and I still feel the ache. I hope you are spiritual as this is the time you need the strength and love and belief in a higher power to know that your dad is in heaven and wouldn't want you to feel this way. God must have had a bigger purpose for him in heaven. God bless and if you need to talk please feel free to email me or post on the boards. We are here for you and again sorry for your loss!!

sherry2010 · Post by **sherry2010** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 8:48 am

thank u so much for your reply I sent u private message

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 8:53 am

im very sorry for your loss,i too lost my dad from a heart attack,he was 57, what your feeling, i can identify with,it happened more than 20 years ago,and for a long time, i believed i had my fathers heart condition,of course i didnt,but thats how my mind worked,i know your going in a million directions right now, but stick with the tools you have learned from the program.i know this, your dad is very proud of you, and believes in you to succeed,and get through this,dont be scared, were all here for you.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 9:58 am

dear hall

i think this is a topic that a lot of people relate to. i lost my dad 10 years ago and what i found was that i had to keep it together for the sake of my children and husband. therefore i did not have time to grieve. you need to let yourself go through the process of grieving. remember this is normal and you are allowed to do this. do not punish yourself even more go through the motions you will be suprised how strong you really are. it will help you talking to others about your problem and as this is a common topic there will be a lot of people with genuin in care and advice.

i encourage you to just keep going and things will get better. i hope all turns out well for you take care..

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 10:05 am

I am sorry for your loss. Take some time to feel your feelings - they are all normal. Grieving takes a long time for some and less times for others. All do it at their own pace and at their own way. Know that you are not alone. I'll keep you in my prayers especially today.

Fr Bob Shafer

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Aug 06, 2009 2:55 am

Dear Hall,
Nothing is higher on the stress hit parade than the sudden loss of a loved one. I believe that we will all be reunited again, but I know that doesn't help much right now.

If you haven't had a heart attack and you've had all of those tests, welcome to the program. Many people assume the problem is physical and are shocked when all of the tests come back normal. You're afraid, and that's making you more afraid. Panic attacks can be stopped by deep breathing.

Give yourself time to grieve, and don't let anybody tell you when you should be over it. When you're ready, you can move on.

My stepdad lost his dad at 60 to a sudden heart attack and he was afraid for years that he would die for the same reason at the same age. Well, he's 74 now. Another theory shot to hell! You'll learn to diffuse those bad feelings and how to think differently so you can be your own best friend.

There are so many caring people on these forums and every last one of us is going through some form of depression and/or anxiety. Write to us when you feel low. There will always be somebody there to answer you.

Hang in there, and good luck!

Les

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Aug 06, 2009 6:09 am

Hi there,

My dad died at age 39 back in 1977, on a Friday the 13th, the day before my 10th birthday nevertheless!

He and my mom were folk dancing, and he collapsed on the floor from a fatal heart attack, he was never revived.

Not only that, but I inherited his high cholesterol!

What a gift huh?

I've considered it a blessing. I've been a health seeker for many years now and continue to pursue a healthy lifestyle. I do believe God has brought me to where I am.

The only way to feel better is to get in control - find out what's wrong and do something about it.

If it's anxiety - well, you are in the right place.

If it's an internal problem - find out what you need to do to heal.

I believe we create our own problems, and usually unintentionally - from negativity, to stress and anxiety, to poor health...and it is up to us to take control!

You have the internet at your finger-tips, it's a vast world of information for you - for free! This is how I discovered the ways to live a healthy and happy life - my prayers were definitely answered.

P.S. I agree with Bobpriest that you need to grieve, this may be part of your process. Take some alone time and solitude.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Aug 06, 2009 3:07 pm

Condolences to you on the loss of your dad.

samcat · Post by **samcat** » Thu Aug 06, 2009 5:08 pm

I would also like to add my condolences to you and also apologize if I wasn't being sensitive to your situation in my previous post.

What happened to me was many many years ago as a child and it just dawned on me that this happened to you just a few days ago. So please accept my apologies for not being sensitive to you.

Again I'm so sorry for your loss - may God comfort you at this time!