I'm reading a book called Boundaries because my counselor thinks part of why I get wound up is taking on the emotions of those around me.
There was one scenario described where this person kept calling another always with some crisis or problem. I think I'm that person. I do that to my friends and I hate it. I blow things way out of proportion and I rely on my friends to help calm me down. I think I sometimes scare some friends away because of that. I'd like to stop being such a drama queen.
How do we stop doing that?
How to stop living in crisis all the time.
Hi Faith,
I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. You have taken positive steps to address some of your problems. Think of the perception that you give your friends. Does it seem that perhaps your friends view you as a weak person? You can only find that out with a sincere discussion with your friends, and find out if their perception of you is truthfully given and they say that they think you are weak, then that is what you project. You might be able to do that yourself in a truthful self analysis.
I would like for you to check out my post to this thread:
http://bbs.stresscenter.com/ev...=521103101#521103101
It might help you to overcome a lot of the negative feelings or thoughts you might have about yourself. The other is that you should understand that if you are weak, then you need to get strong. Seek to get stronger in the word of the Lord. For it is our reliance on Him that truly makes us stronger.
We can do much on our own to help ourselves, and we realize just how dependent we are upon Him, when we are at our weakest. I don't know why the object lessons that we should learn something from, constantly return us to thinking we could do all in our own strength. The truth is we can't. All we ever do, is make a mess for ourselves. The sooner we realize that we are strongest when we are at our weakest, because we rely more on Him, the sooner things could be a lot easier for us. The sooner we realize that being reliant upon Him is not such a bad thing; the better it is for us when we rely on Him even if we think we don't.
I hope your continued walk toward overcoming and recovery continues to make good progress. I think you have been doing pretty good, but I realize how nagging some of our concerns can be to cloud our own view of the realities. You need a little encouragement every now and then; even if you have to do it for yourself. What say you?
TC, and God bless you.
I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. You have taken positive steps to address some of your problems. Think of the perception that you give your friends. Does it seem that perhaps your friends view you as a weak person? You can only find that out with a sincere discussion with your friends, and find out if their perception of you is truthfully given and they say that they think you are weak, then that is what you project. You might be able to do that yourself in a truthful self analysis.
I would like for you to check out my post to this thread:
http://bbs.stresscenter.com/ev...=521103101#521103101
It might help you to overcome a lot of the negative feelings or thoughts you might have about yourself. The other is that you should understand that if you are weak, then you need to get strong. Seek to get stronger in the word of the Lord. For it is our reliance on Him that truly makes us stronger.
We can do much on our own to help ourselves, and we realize just how dependent we are upon Him, when we are at our weakest. I don't know why the object lessons that we should learn something from, constantly return us to thinking we could do all in our own strength. The truth is we can't. All we ever do, is make a mess for ourselves. The sooner we realize that we are strongest when we are at our weakest, because we rely more on Him, the sooner things could be a lot easier for us. The sooner we realize that being reliant upon Him is not such a bad thing; the better it is for us when we rely on Him even if we think we don't.
I hope your continued walk toward overcoming and recovery continues to make good progress. I think you have been doing pretty good, but I realize how nagging some of our concerns can be to cloud our own view of the realities. You need a little encouragement every now and then; even if you have to do it for yourself. What say you?
TC, and God bless you.
-
NinjaFrodo
- Posts: 1263
- Joined: Wed Aug 18, 2004 3:00 am
hey faith!!!
Its so funny that I am reading this! I was just thinking the same exact thing...its not even just myself though..I feel that some people around me in my family are like this as well.
See I dont feel "well" or whatever when I am healthy and thinking straight..I feel like..omg I should be crying in my bed right now..or freaking out about going to the store or something!! or//"why am I in walmart and im NOT having anxiety!! there is something wrong!!?"
Its like I need my own drama and self pity to feel normal!! I wish I knew why this was also lol
I dont think I lose friends because of this..and you shouldnt feel that way either. We all know most friends come and go...its the true ones that pull you out of it and still stick by your side..and hey...if they arent..then like we learned when we were young...they are NOT your friends!! Most people lately are in it for themselves..if THEY are not benifiting from the friendship then they will get up and leave. People are very self-fish these days. So unless you are an abusive friend beating them up and spitting on them..phyiscally and mentally..then faith give yourself more credit girl!! Its not you.
From all your posts on here and everything...you seem great!!!
If you do find out a reasonable explanation why we are such drama queen people please let me know!! lol
xoxox
Dena
Its so funny that I am reading this! I was just thinking the same exact thing...its not even just myself though..I feel that some people around me in my family are like this as well.
See I dont feel "well" or whatever when I am healthy and thinking straight..I feel like..omg I should be crying in my bed right now..or freaking out about going to the store or something!! or//"why am I in walmart and im NOT having anxiety!! there is something wrong!!?"
Its like I need my own drama and self pity to feel normal!! I wish I knew why this was also lol
I dont think I lose friends because of this..and you shouldnt feel that way either. We all know most friends come and go...its the true ones that pull you out of it and still stick by your side..and hey...if they arent..then like we learned when we were young...they are NOT your friends!! Most people lately are in it for themselves..if THEY are not benifiting from the friendship then they will get up and leave. People are very self-fish these days. So unless you are an abusive friend beating them up and spitting on them..phyiscally and mentally..then faith give yourself more credit girl!! Its not you.
From all your posts on here and everything...you seem great!!!
If you do find out a reasonable explanation why we are such drama queen people please let me know!! lol
xoxox
Dena
Here is the link to the Letting Go thread which is designated for venting
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
http://forum.stresscenter.com/viewtopic ... 52&t=25087
You can follow me on Twitter, same username or check out my blog
http://ninjafrodo.blogspot.com/
-
Guest
-
Guest
Thanks you guys!! You helped me a lot.
Gman. . . I do agree that when we are weak we are strong and that's something I've been struggling with lately. I was feeling so much "better" but then I found myself growing away from God. Not praying or reading my Bible. that's when I always get hit the hardest. So then I think. . . Satan messes with me more when I'm closer to God. That may be it a little. . . but then I think I don't want to blame it on Satan. That's just scary! I have my own sinful nature to blame when it comes right down to it. So, I'm working on reading my Bible more. . . started walking . . . eating better. All the things I slowly stopped doing before my melt-down last week. It was really really scary. I honestly thought this time was it. . .I was going to lose my job and end up in a mental hospital. LOL good grief!! Talk about a drama queen, right? I'll get back to feelin better with God's help and it will be the lasting kind. I just have to do it one bit at a time. I'm also in training for "Christian Care" ministry. I was going to bail on that last week because of my anxiety, but I called my counselor and he told me that I could still do it. It's those of us that have struggled that make the best care people. That helped me a lot.
Dena. . . wow! Thanks so much for putting into words what I was thinking. Yeah, I have to have some drama! Make that stop. . .LOL. And for friends I never thought about it that way. I had a friend who is bipolar and I shared my problems with her and now it seems she has distanced herself. But, maybe she has her own problems too much and can't bear to hear mine. So. . . that's OK too. I really like her and want to be friends. . . but it just doesn't always pan out I guess. Thanks for reminding me it might not be just me!! She's busy with a family and school and church activities. Maybe she just doesn't have it in her for another friend.
And yes if I hear about why we are such drama queen people I will let you know.
Gman. . . I do agree that when we are weak we are strong and that's something I've been struggling with lately. I was feeling so much "better" but then I found myself growing away from God. Not praying or reading my Bible. that's when I always get hit the hardest. So then I think. . . Satan messes with me more when I'm closer to God. That may be it a little. . . but then I think I don't want to blame it on Satan. That's just scary! I have my own sinful nature to blame when it comes right down to it. So, I'm working on reading my Bible more. . . started walking . . . eating better. All the things I slowly stopped doing before my melt-down last week. It was really really scary. I honestly thought this time was it. . .I was going to lose my job and end up in a mental hospital. LOL good grief!! Talk about a drama queen, right? I'll get back to feelin better with God's help and it will be the lasting kind. I just have to do it one bit at a time. I'm also in training for "Christian Care" ministry. I was going to bail on that last week because of my anxiety, but I called my counselor and he told me that I could still do it. It's those of us that have struggled that make the best care people. That helped me a lot.
Dena. . . wow! Thanks so much for putting into words what I was thinking. Yeah, I have to have some drama! Make that stop. . .LOL. And for friends I never thought about it that way. I had a friend who is bipolar and I shared my problems with her and now it seems she has distanced herself. But, maybe she has her own problems too much and can't bear to hear mine. So. . . that's OK too. I really like her and want to be friends. . . but it just doesn't always pan out I guess. Thanks for reminding me it might not be just me!! She's busy with a family and school and church activities. Maybe she just doesn't have it in her for another friend.
And yes if I hear about why we are such drama queen people I will let you know.
Hi, Faith-Tx,
I just wanted to let you know that I do know that you'll make it through all of this, but I was just very interested in your topic so I thought I'd respond in public and some by private message. I first of all wanted to say that it seems like our entire planet is addicted to drama:)! I used to read a lot of "In Touch" magazines during my "down times" to fill my drama quotient. I know it's a guilty pleasure, but I got tired of the gossip as I learned to limit the drama in my life. Truth be told, it's only because I have a son with severe autism that I have learned that I've got to stop the drama in other areas of my life because I have my fill with him, and I often can't control that. There are opportunities to under react even with that though.
However, I did at one time have a therapist who wanted me to use adrenaline and drama because she thought I was good in emergencies. Some people thrive in emergency professions like that when they are addicted to drama, but for me, that ended up not being good advice, and I'm not perfect, but I do tend to seek peace more and limit drama as much as possible because I get so much drama that I can't control with my son.
Here's just some advice I have that I have used on myself. I just think first of all that you've acknowledged the issue, and that's always a good and important step. Secondly, don't try to change the habit by beating yourself up. That never works. Most human beings really do get addicted to drama, and you are 100% not alone as everyone else has mentioned. Thirdly, pay attention to the physiological factors. For example, when you are addicted to drama, your adrenaline comes into play. Your body becomes addicted to the rush of adrenaline, your adrenal glands often enlarge(I mean, I learned to be addicted to drama from my childhood so for most of my life my adrenal glands had developed to expect chronic drama as could be the case for you and others too), and it does come with the side effects of panic and anxiety, but your body is addicted to adrenaline. When you try to change your behavior and seek peace and "under react" as this program recommends, understand that your body will fight you at first, and it really is a process with steps forward and backwards. You will feel depression and boredom and that is referred to as an andrenaline drop. You may feel even a deep sense of emptiness in your soul, but that's just your body and your spirt telling you that you need to fill yourself with more positive things such as peace and rest. Exercise definitely and majorly helps with the process to get rid of the excess adrenaline, and lifts the depression, etc. Really fill your life with calming and soothing activities such as bubble baths, warm lemon tea, reading, meditation and prayer and relaxation, etc. Also, focus on using your gifts and talents and hobbies.
I know that addiction to drama can be broken, but a lot of us have trouble when in our attempt to limit the drama, we feel the adrenaline drop. We just have to know what's going on, and we have to know that we can survive the initial negative feelings that are really a sign that we're heading in the right direction. "This too shall pass" really is a good motto in this situation. So, when you go to limit the drama, if you feel bad, just know it's a good sign. With proper support and love, you will get through those feelings, and then you'll start to put your hand up like a brick wall at any unnecessary drama that comes your way:). When I first started to take a break from drama, I just wish I would have known about the adrenaline drop, etc., and I would have gotten through it all so much easier:).
Take care,
luvpiggy
I just wanted to let you know that I do know that you'll make it through all of this, but I was just very interested in your topic so I thought I'd respond in public and some by private message. I first of all wanted to say that it seems like our entire planet is addicted to drama:)! I used to read a lot of "In Touch" magazines during my "down times" to fill my drama quotient. I know it's a guilty pleasure, but I got tired of the gossip as I learned to limit the drama in my life. Truth be told, it's only because I have a son with severe autism that I have learned that I've got to stop the drama in other areas of my life because I have my fill with him, and I often can't control that. There are opportunities to under react even with that though.
However, I did at one time have a therapist who wanted me to use adrenaline and drama because she thought I was good in emergencies. Some people thrive in emergency professions like that when they are addicted to drama, but for me, that ended up not being good advice, and I'm not perfect, but I do tend to seek peace more and limit drama as much as possible because I get so much drama that I can't control with my son.
Here's just some advice I have that I have used on myself. I just think first of all that you've acknowledged the issue, and that's always a good and important step. Secondly, don't try to change the habit by beating yourself up. That never works. Most human beings really do get addicted to drama, and you are 100% not alone as everyone else has mentioned. Thirdly, pay attention to the physiological factors. For example, when you are addicted to drama, your adrenaline comes into play. Your body becomes addicted to the rush of adrenaline, your adrenal glands often enlarge(I mean, I learned to be addicted to drama from my childhood so for most of my life my adrenal glands had developed to expect chronic drama as could be the case for you and others too), and it does come with the side effects of panic and anxiety, but your body is addicted to adrenaline. When you try to change your behavior and seek peace and "under react" as this program recommends, understand that your body will fight you at first, and it really is a process with steps forward and backwards. You will feel depression and boredom and that is referred to as an andrenaline drop. You may feel even a deep sense of emptiness in your soul, but that's just your body and your spirt telling you that you need to fill yourself with more positive things such as peace and rest. Exercise definitely and majorly helps with the process to get rid of the excess adrenaline, and lifts the depression, etc. Really fill your life with calming and soothing activities such as bubble baths, warm lemon tea, reading, meditation and prayer and relaxation, etc. Also, focus on using your gifts and talents and hobbies.
I know that addiction to drama can be broken, but a lot of us have trouble when in our attempt to limit the drama, we feel the adrenaline drop. We just have to know what's going on, and we have to know that we can survive the initial negative feelings that are really a sign that we're heading in the right direction. "This too shall pass" really is a good motto in this situation. So, when you go to limit the drama, if you feel bad, just know it's a good sign. With proper support and love, you will get through those feelings, and then you'll start to put your hand up like a brick wall at any unnecessary drama that comes your way:). When I first started to take a break from drama, I just wish I would have known about the adrenaline drop, etc., and I would have gotten through it all so much easier:).
Take care,
luvpiggy
-
Guest
Wow! Thanks for telling me that. I had been struggling the last couple months feeling down. . .which was sort of what set off my panic attacks last week. I was worried I was getting depressed.
And, even this morning. . . I slep SOOO SOOO good last night, and had nice fun dreams all night long. This morning I felt calmer and so of course then I thought maybe I was getting depressed again or I even had a thought that I was on an emotional roller coaster or bipolar. LOL (which my doctor already said I'm not!)
This is something good to keep in mind, thanks.
I do notice I'm drawn to reality TV and lots of drama on TV too. Interesting. . . hmmmmm
And, even this morning. . . I slep SOOO SOOO good last night, and had nice fun dreams all night long. This morning I felt calmer and so of course then I thought maybe I was getting depressed again or I even had a thought that I was on an emotional roller coaster or bipolar. LOL (which my doctor already said I'm not!)
This is something good to keep in mind, thanks.
I do notice I'm drawn to reality TV and lots of drama on TV too. Interesting. . . hmmmmm
-
Guest
What luvpiggy has said is what I noticed almost immediately after starting the program. My anxiety dropped, I became much more peaceful and accepting of everyday events, but -- I felt I was getting depressed. I soon realized that this was not depression but a drop in adrenaline that I was not used to functioning on. I was calm, not bored nor depressed. I felt that I had gone thru a withdrawal. There is a lot of resistance that comes up when you decrease the drama. I finally found a really good balance between calmness and excitement that is positive and not draining.
-
Guest