I received the Stress Program in December 2007. I was going through a lot with my almost 15 year old son at the time, who was using drugs. My daughter, 7, was having physical problems, and my partner was on her way out the door.
I finally decided to start the program in January 2008, and through all that I was going through, it really gave me a strength that I never knew I had. Well, I only got through week 3, and quit. I just let life get in the way. I had to move back in with my parents with my daughter. My son moved in with his paternal grandparents, and my partner moved in with her mother. I kept telling myself I would start the program back up again as soon as I got settled.
Well, in December 2008, I picked the program back up again. I was so determined this time to make it work. I made it through Sessions 1 & 2 with no hang-ups. I half-heartedly made it through Session 3, but I did it. I read that a lot of people quit after Session 3, and I was SO determined not to be one of those people.
Then my partner ended up going into the hospital, and could barely help herself. She had also been suffering with depression and agoraphobia for awhile, but would not get help, mostly because she was afraid to leave the house, and was afraid of just about everyone. I know, I know...so I tried to introduce her to the program, thinking we could work on it at the same time, maybe help cheer each other on. That didn't work, either. She always had trouble in school, and this program was too much like a school course for her, and just made her more anxious.
Needless to say, I have been trying to pick things back up where I left off for weeks now. Sometimes I try to start over with Session 1. Sometimes I try to pick up on Session 3. I feel so thrown off. I know this is because I am a perfectionist, and I am fighting the urge to do this program exactly the way I think it should be done. I tell myself that there is no right way...doing something with it is better than doing nothing at all! I can't seem to convince myself, and I'm not sure where to go from here.
I am hoping maybe someone will say something to me that makes sense...I mean, I just don't like the way I've been feeling lately, and want to get back on track with this program. I feel angry all the time, and feel myself moving in the wrong direction. I use the excuse a lot that I just don't have the time, and sometimes it's an excuse, but most of the time, it is hard to find time for myself. And when I do get some time to myself, it's really hard to use it on working on my problems.
I deal with so many of everyone else's problems, but I'm not sure how to weed people out. I help take care of both of my elderly grandmothers, my parents both have minor health problems, so I need to help them out. I have a 9 year old with her own set of health issues (IBS), and that's not even mentioning my own (going thru menopause due to a hysterectomy, severe allergies-indoor & out, the list goes on...). I feel like I live at the doctors offices and am just plain worn down.
I have been on this site before and have found that everyone on here has been so encouraging and helpful. I sure could use that now....!!!
