Working is so hard

[pearpickinporky]

I'd be interested if anyone else can relate to this or offer some advice.

My anxiety issues only really kicked of when I started working at 16, there is the inability to make friends with anyone, the only time I ever talk to a colleague is about work, there is the constant feeling like an outsider, like you don't fit in, and the reality is I don't

Then there is all the other stuff like being treated like a doormat. I've always worked as part of a team and its always me who gets the rubbish no one else wants to do, I watch others when they are told to do a particular job they don't like, they put there foot down and say no, and once they say no I know its coming my way. I once tried to be assertive and do the same, unfortunately for me I got marched into the office and got reprimanded So I never done that again. Then there is all the butt kissing that goes on in the work place, its like survival of the fittest, hard work gets you no where, and I'm not trying to blow my own trumpet but I do work the hardest yet am always the lowest paid and never get rewarded, and another thing that really annoys me is, because I am shy, people confuse my being quite as being stupid, does that ever happen to you?

Because of the way things are in work it effects my entire life, Sunday evenings I just sit depressed at the thought of having to go through it all again, You can't enjoy holidays because of the thought of having to go back to work, above all it makes me totally furious at the way I am treated.

I did say f**k it once and walked out of a job, I couldn't get another, I sat unemployed for 2 years, developed agoraphobia and depression due to the fact of being stuck in the house 24/7. Its seems like your damned if you do damned if you don't.

[Guest]

What I have been told and am trying to accept is that for the most part the problem lies with me. I enjoy the type of work that I do, but I get bad anxiety and panic attacks that make me physicaly sick (nauseous) and have insomnia real bad. I have missed so much work that I have been warned that even though I do excellent work, any more absences will be cause for termination. I missed the last three days of work and wonder if I will get the ax on Tuesday. I told my boss I would rather have cancer than this stupid anxiety and depression.

I am getting the idea that something needs to change in order to get over this. That something is me. I am afraid (and even lazy) to change but I have too.

Dan