Hi, after I moved to New York, I immediately found a relationship and tried to continue improving my living situation and work situation. Things were hopeful.
Stress pretty soon thereafter go to me so that I was overwhelmed to the point of not being able to handle things. I moved to a cheaper neighborhood with a roomate which was also a more depressing neighborhood. Not many people speak english and my ethnicity is very rare there. So it's not fun to be outside. After I moved there my relationship went more downhill, also due to my increasing anxiety until it was ruined. My depression and anxiety worsened since I've been here.
Now, I do try to investigate leaving from time to time, but the fact is, in my price range, this ends up being my only option (unless I want to live in a worse place). I cannot afford to live where it seems normal to me. We're not talking Park avenue here. Normal is just a friendly, clean-ish environment. (I grew up in California, never had much money, but I am used to people knowing some english and not being completely ghetto.)
It is rare, but sometimes I feel better. Then I leave the house and it is inevitable that my anxiety increases, I become irritable and feel chaotic after going outside in the environment I live in.
I wonder: What can I do to help combat this until I become rich (haha) or otherwise am able to live in a better neighborhood? It is very frustrating to know that my environment drains me so much. It is dirty, disorganized and the people's behavior on the whole is a lot dirtier and louder and ruder than I prefer. (people blowing their nose by snorting it out onto the sidewalk, a lot of yelling and high energy tempers and desperation, traffic is crazy, etc., I am serious.)
Some people may say get out of New York. Ok, but there's got to be a way to deal and make better choices for myself now, here. Any help?
How to get over hating your neighborhood when you can't move
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Guest
I don't know how to encourage you. So I'll just say, I hear you!!!
I mean , my first impulse was to write,
"hey move out of there, like to the open plains somewhere??" . But obviously that is not the answer for you.
Anyway, I'm gonna say a prayer for you.
Cause I just couldn't take that either.
Keep coming back to the forum.
MJ
I mean , my first impulse was to write,
"hey move out of there, like to the open plains somewhere??" . But obviously that is not the answer for you.
Anyway, I'm gonna say a prayer for you.
Cause I just couldn't take that either.
Keep coming back to the forum.
MJ
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Guest
NicNic
First of all, I get it, really. My husband works in New York and even though it can be an exciting awesome place to play and visit, the stories he sometimes comes home with from working there day in and out are sometimes unbelievable! I can understand the price range stuff and what you get for your money. Now, without too many people laughing at this.....would you consider a place in New Jersey and commute? I know the jokes about my state (ha ha) but there are some nice towns and possibly better rents.??? The commute could get to some people though. My husband takes the train in every day and I know that's not fun but, maybe a option? Whatever happens, just remember, life's not a one way street. When I look back in the years before I met my husband and settled down, I lived in some hideous places. You won't be where you are right now forever b/c you really don't like it. Things will change and in time you'll be in a place you're proud to call home.
First of all, I get it, really. My husband works in New York and even though it can be an exciting awesome place to play and visit, the stories he sometimes comes home with from working there day in and out are sometimes unbelievable! I can understand the price range stuff and what you get for your money. Now, without too many people laughing at this.....would you consider a place in New Jersey and commute? I know the jokes about my state (ha ha) but there are some nice towns and possibly better rents.??? The commute could get to some people though. My husband takes the train in every day and I know that's not fun but, maybe a option? Whatever happens, just remember, life's not a one way street. When I look back in the years before I met my husband and settled down, I lived in some hideous places. You won't be where you are right now forever b/c you really don't like it. Things will change and in time you'll be in a place you're proud to call home.
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Guest
NicNic:
I agree that it might be best to continue brainstorming and looking into ways that you could make a move (maybe someone in a better neighborhood is looking for a roommate...I know making the connection is the challenge).
But for now, the way I see it, your choice is to be less affected by it. It is going to take a lot of effort, I know, it sounds very difficult to live day in and day out there. BUT you could start right now by making a list of even the very smallest thing you like about where you live. I'll start:
1. It's inexpensive.
Use humor.
2. I can talk to myself without getting strange looks because no one can understand my language.
I'd love to hear some ideas from you...maybe there is something nice about the inside that you like, or that you could play up. Make it a real haven that you enjoy.
I agree that it might be best to continue brainstorming and looking into ways that you could make a move (maybe someone in a better neighborhood is looking for a roommate...I know making the connection is the challenge).
But for now, the way I see it, your choice is to be less affected by it. It is going to take a lot of effort, I know, it sounds very difficult to live day in and day out there. BUT you could start right now by making a list of even the very smallest thing you like about where you live. I'll start:
1. It's inexpensive.
Use humor.
2. I can talk to myself without getting strange looks because no one can understand my language.
I'd love to hear some ideas from you...maybe there is something nice about the inside that you like, or that you could play up. Make it a real haven that you enjoy.
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Guest
I know all too well the "disasters" of living in NY as I have been here my whole life pretty much (since I was 2)... I've lived in Park Slope majority of my life which went from druggies knocking on random doors looking for drug dealers (specifically mine b/c drugs used to be sold out of my building), hookers lolligaggin on the corners to shoot outs at night... (mind u it wasn't the worst neighborhood in Brooklyn)... NOW... Pshhhh... Its called the "Mini Village"... Beautiful beautiful neighborhood... but with that came one of the more expensive neighborhoods to move into... My mother had hardships in life and has Section 8 which is the only reason she still has her 5 bedroom apt at an astonishingly low price... had it not been for that I'm sure she'd be bumped into one of the more "ghetto" neighborhoods... It's sad that things turned out the way they did in New York, economically... at the same time it has its benefits... I have to be honest- with the description you gave of how the people are in ur neighborhood... I can think of a couple of areas you live... and I understand your frustration... Maybe you can try getting a roommate in a better area... Craigslist is a great site to check if you consider that... Well for now I guess try not to pay too much mind to the area and/or people that live there... once you're in ur home you won't see them... at least these people don't live with you... Anyway I wish you lots of luck... Good things come to those who wait 
Your neighbor E-Lo♥♥
Your neighbor E-Lo♥♥
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Guest
What I can say is, is that my neighborhood is NOT my ideal living situation. I rather be out in the country on several acres with my own barn for horses, ducks, chickens, pond, listening to the wind blow and the birds chirp. What I have is NOISE. The homes are in a subdivision and are literally on top of one another.
So what do I do until I can move? I spend as much time as I can doing the things I like in the environment I like. I go to the country as much as I can. I go out with people and enjoy their company. I am involved in church, so that keep me from feeling like I am "stuck" at home. When I am home I have made my home very comfortable and appealing to me so it does not make me feel as if I am trapped. I do not focus on the fact the neighbors dogs are barking at all hours, that they are drunkards making noise until 2-3 am, some of the kids are screaming blood murder for several hours on and off, some neighbors drag their trash cans out at midnight and make a ton of noise. I just tune it out. I put my stereo on, roll on my side, close my windows and enjoy. I cannot change anyone nor stop them from doing that they do, but I do change MY environment and my reaction to what is happening to please me. I DO have control of that. I do NOT need to have someone spoil my moments.
So what do I do until I can move? I spend as much time as I can doing the things I like in the environment I like. I go to the country as much as I can. I go out with people and enjoy their company. I am involved in church, so that keep me from feeling like I am "stuck" at home. When I am home I have made my home very comfortable and appealing to me so it does not make me feel as if I am trapped. I do not focus on the fact the neighbors dogs are barking at all hours, that they are drunkards making noise until 2-3 am, some of the kids are screaming blood murder for several hours on and off, some neighbors drag their trash cans out at midnight and make a ton of noise. I just tune it out. I put my stereo on, roll on my side, close my windows and enjoy. I cannot change anyone nor stop them from doing that they do, but I do change MY environment and my reaction to what is happening to please me. I DO have control of that. I do NOT need to have someone spoil my moments.
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Guest
~*schnauzermom*~
You could always come to Kentucky and make a fresh start...I am so much like you; I enjoy the simple things in life...I love nature...If you could come up with the funds..maybe, you could consider moving to a location where you could live the simple life...I pray you find you find peace and serenity with whatever decision you make...As for me, I am just a country girl, and I love the country life....God Bless
You could always come to Kentucky and make a fresh start...I am so much like you; I enjoy the simple things in life...I love nature...If you could come up with the funds..maybe, you could consider moving to a location where you could live the simple life...I pray you find you find peace and serenity with whatever decision you make...As for me, I am just a country girl, and I love the country life....God Bless
Ms. T Bones,
My current home may not be my ideal place, but I am not miserable by any stretch of the imagination. Sorry if I made it sound like I was stuck or something. I do have internal peace and serenity and that is what gets me through the noisy, inconsiderate neighbors. I have adjusted the manner in which I perceive situations and that in turn changes how I think, feel and react. It used to bother me, now I really do not care. I make of it what I will. Thoughts have everything to do with emotions. Happy thoughts, happy emotions.
KY is beautiful, laid back and the people are SO hospitable, but my family is in WI. Our next move will be closer to them. For now we have to sit tight as homes in our area are not selling. For Sale signs have been up for 2-3 years on some homes and forget about renting out. We have seen rental property damage and do not want to deal with that. I am making the best of this situation and it is working. It is what I make of it. I have faith that all will be fine. God Bless you too!
My current home may not be my ideal place, but I am not miserable by any stretch of the imagination. Sorry if I made it sound like I was stuck or something. I do have internal peace and serenity and that is what gets me through the noisy, inconsiderate neighbors. I have adjusted the manner in which I perceive situations and that in turn changes how I think, feel and react. It used to bother me, now I really do not care. I make of it what I will. Thoughts have everything to do with emotions. Happy thoughts, happy emotions.
KY is beautiful, laid back and the people are SO hospitable, but my family is in WI. Our next move will be closer to them. For now we have to sit tight as homes in our area are not selling. For Sale signs have been up for 2-3 years on some homes and forget about renting out. We have seen rental property damage and do not want to deal with that. I am making the best of this situation and it is working. It is what I make of it. I have faith that all will be fine. God Bless you too!
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Guest
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Guest
It's really nice to read all of your posts. I will go over them again and take in the wisdom and advice... One good thing about the economic situation is that rents are getting cheaper, so maybe I can move sometime soon. Who knows? E-Lo thanks for your understanding, it sounds like you know exactly what I am talking about and yes, we are close neighbors. I am pretty close to the Slope.
So much money for rentals in NY, and it's so hectic. I'm still trying to find out if I can find a comfortable place. It also involves my social connections and I don't have much going on that's settling. I do have some friends/acquaintances, but that, too, has involved so much compromise. The older I get, the more I think I have to accept not being comfortable and just try to keep up the bills, etc., but this is not how I want to see life. I hope I gain the perspective, the support, and the ability to make strong changes for myself in a good direction to reach more happiness at some point (soon). Blessings to you all...
So much money for rentals in NY, and it's so hectic. I'm still trying to find out if I can find a comfortable place. It also involves my social connections and I don't have much going on that's settling. I do have some friends/acquaintances, but that, too, has involved so much compromise. The older I get, the more I think I have to accept not being comfortable and just try to keep up the bills, etc., but this is not how I want to see life. I hope I gain the perspective, the support, and the ability to make strong changes for myself in a good direction to reach more happiness at some point (soon). Blessings to you all...