Almost done the program and excited!

[MirandaLey]

Hi everyone! I'm happy to report that I'm on Lesson 14 and almost done the program. I am feeling so good. I still get nervous and anxious sometimes, and I can still feel depressed, but it hasn't taken over my life anymore like it used to. I'll still catch myself using negative thinking patterns, so I know I still have a lot to learn, but I'm proud of my progress. I really feel like a while new person. I regard myself with lots of esteem and respect now, and love and admiration too. I'm proud of myself and I see doing this course and tackling my fears head on as a sure sign that I am a brave, smart, in-control woman!

I wondered, to other program veterans, what the next step is? I was seeing a therapist this past fall for my OCD/anxiety/depression but haven't met with him in months because of how well I've been doing. I'll do a follow-up with him (he was totally on board with the program when I showed him) and see if he thinks I need to do any more OCD-specific therapy. I want to go through the entire program a second time after a bit of a break, as I've heard that can be really helpful -- I imagine it will just cement everything and really make sure I have a good grounding in all the skills. Plus -- and this is the kicker -- I will actually MISS doing the program. The people on the tapes feel like such good friends now!

I recently purhcased Lucinda's book "From Panic to Power", it seems like a mini-version of the course. I'm going to read it in the interim before I do my second run through the program. But I'd like to know from others who have finished the program -- other than your new thinking, what skills do you still practice on a daily basis from the program? Do you still write down and replace your negative thoughts? Listen to the relaxation session on a daily basis? Keep a food diary? Journal? I'd love to know!

Thanks to everyone who I've recieved support from. I think what I've learned is that life's not always easy, sometimes it really sucks, but things ALWAYS get better. No matter how bleak things seem, you will feel happy and safe and secure again. And that is the true state of being. The depression, the anxiety, the obsessiveness; that all passes. That's but a shadow, even though it feels like eternal darkness at times. There is always hope! I think I'll always have to work at keeping my anxiety under control, because life is so full of good and bad things, and we all know that both good and bad things can cause us to have anxiety. But the older I get, the more I practice, practice practice, and each day that goes by, each experience I go through, be it good or bad, is only going to make me stronger.

I praise God daily for this program, and the support and love He has always given me!!!

[tina martin]

This is a superb tribute. Am making a note of it and may pop it up periodically for others to read. I also have the book and reference it.

My experience tells me that some of us cannot take the reconditioning for granted. Something comes along and we can get smacked back almost to square one. So I work at it every day actively turning negatives into positives, praising myself, reassuring myself, remembering my goals, eating well, keeping hydrated, exercising, meditating, etc. I accept this as matters I'll always have to tend to. But they are no burden, they are actually a joy.

Thank you for this wonderful post.

[MirandaLey]

What a wonderful way of looking at things Tina. You sound so mature and self-posessed. And I agree. So what we have to work on our skills? It only makes us stronger.

[mercuryme]

I am only on week four, but I want to also congratulate you and say how much I admire your persistence. I can't wait to be in your shoes!

One thing I remember vividly from session three is when Lucinda talks about depression and anxiety as an addiction to worry and negative thinking. She said that we have to think of ourselves almost like alcoholics. That really struck a chord with me because I've always felt like those thought patterns and negative feelings were something I was addicted to.

Having worked for a substance abuse treatment organization for several years, I've learned to use the phrase "in recovery," which is how people in that realm refer to themselves when they've stopped using and have gotten their addiction under control. They never say they are "recovered" because they are taught to see their recovery as an ongoing process. Addiction is a disease that has to be managed throughout one's life, even when it's an addiction to negative thought patterns.

I've gone into this sort of knowing that I will have ups and downs, and that I will not be "cured" at the end of this program. I may have relapses into my old thought patterns from time to time, and I'll have to keep working the program when that happens. I hope the day comes when I can at least say that my panic attacks are gone. I know that's possible and I'm hopeful, but if they do come back someday I'll have the tools to cope.

I've thought of seeking out a group such as the one we hear on the tapes, because like you I've enjoyed listening to them so much. They know eachother so well and have seen eachother progress. I know that NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) has anxiety and depression support groups across the country. I've always balked at the idea of joining group therapy, but this program has sort of made me rethink that. It may be something I pursue when I'm finished.

Anyway, those are my thoughts! Best of luck to you in your recovery.

[tina martin]

Am popping this thread up to the top so others who have a variety of concerns can read it to get a good sense of understanding how the program can work for the good. Wishing everyone continued progress.

[tina martin]

Here I go again, encouraging others to read this thread.

[findpeace]

You've all made good comments. I'm starting Lesson 7, so I am near the halfway point. I am also planning to go through each of the 15 chapters a second time when I am done because I realize it's not over yet. I originally took the course 10 years ago and the anxiety came back last year (both times coming off auto accidents). Life is still tough and a relationship I was in for 15 months has just ended, with my anxiety playing a big part in the breakup. While it hurts, this program and the book "What To Say When You Talk To Yourself" by Shad Helmstetter have been a big help in my mental state: staying as positive as I can. I plan to speak to the woman I am splitting from soon, just so I can have positive closure and an open heart. Aside from that, I'm on the Assertive chapter and I just left a positive, assertive voice mail this morning on a business matter that focused on the "I" and I just received an e-mail back with the information I was looking for. It was something that was dragging on and now I can spring into action.

[tina martin]

This is interesting because I've seen recidivism before. Apparently the program can send the all clear, people leave, but it is not necessarily a cure-all for all time. I have accepted that I must be ever watchful to maintain that positive self-talk and stay on the right course.

My library actually has the book you mention so I'll try and get it, except I'm not sure what else I can say to myself and not find myself locked up (joking).

[tina martin]

Just popping this up again.