Had a really bad night

[pearpickinporky]

I'm very much a country boy, I rarely venture out of my comfort zone, I thought I had beat anxiety but in reality all I did was confine myself to my comfort zone. Last night me and the father in law headed into the city to meet up with the my wifes brother on his stags/bucks party who were there all day on a bender, the plan was to go for a meal, I was dreading going with her father anyway, I mean I don't really know the guy and still get nervous in a car with people I don't know, I'd dreaded it all week. But I did it. We arrived in the city centre, people every where, mostly drunk because some sporting event was on, traffic jams everywhere, I'd never seen that many people in the one place to be honest, everywhere you looked people, next thing my stomach started churning, cramps, a diarrhea attack but where the hell was I to go? I am scared shitless of crowds of people, excuse the pun because of social phobia let alone drunk people, call me a pussy but I am scared of drunks, of course I kept focusing on this made it worse until my head went light and I had that extreme fear I've not had in ages, you know that cold feeling that just fills your body, heart pounding, I felt like passing out, I was having a panic attack. The car wasn't moving because of traffic, I had to jump out, so told him i'd be back in a moment and out I went, didn't have a clue where I was, people as far as the eye could see, disaster. I found a Holiday Inn and went in and relieved the situation and made it back to the car, still feeling shaken.

Then we get a phone call, they all hard an argument and fell out, the groom was beaten up and could we take him home, stuck in traffic moving no where I had to get out again and go and try and find him luckly he was near the Holiday Inn but again scared shitless up that street, it just seemed lawless, drunks everywhere and not a Police man in site, but got him gathered up and tried to head for home, stuck in traffic, more thinking, more thinking, moving no where fast had another panic attack, I just wanted home but was 40 miles away, I was terrified, I tried to remember all in the program but I was so worked up it wasn't working.

I was never as happy to get home in my life, but as I say felt really shaken by these panic attacks, I didn't think my anxiety was that bad but it just goes to show what happens when you push yourself out of your comfort zone and to be honest I don't think I ever want to go out of it again.

[LyndaLu]

I have been in your situation more than once. So I understand.
I hate to be the passenger in a car, I would rather be the driver.
I don't drink alcohol anymore, so being around drunk people would not be that much fun for me,
I have already seen my share of "happy hours" during my younger years.
Traffic jams sure don't help anxiety either. I have IBD, Inflammatory Bowel Disease,
so every day, everywhere I go I have to worry about where the nearest bathroom is.

But remember, it was only one night. There will be other nights that won't
be as bad and the situation will be different and you might actually enjoy it.
Unrealistic expectations can cause stress. Expect less and get more.
Also sometimes a spontaneous activity can be the most fun one.
You know that you cannot stay home forever so get yourself ready now for
your next night on the town.

PS: In two weeks I have to pick up some relatives at the airport at midnight
and I am already all stressed out about THAT because I don't want to drive
at night and I don't want to drive my mom's big, old car out to the airport
on the freeway ! Ahhh ! ( My mom's car is the only car that will hold
two kids and three adults. This event has not even happened and I have
already been having anxiety about it, amazing. Maybe they will decide
to take the Super Shuttle instead, ha ha.

[pearpickinporky]

Freeways or Motorways are also a major cause of stress for me, I don't know why they make me anxious, and at night its even worse as I discovered the other night as you can't see a lot and can't really figure out where your at on the freeway, the freeway has light for a few mile as you come out of the city and then nothing just darkness.

My stomach amazes me how quick it can turn on, I was fine until we got that phone call to go into the city centre, and within minutes I went from feeling fine to literally having to run for a bathroom.

[hopeful12]

You had a normal reaction and I feel the same way about others being drunk -- because they seem or are actually out of control and I feel a great need to be in control. My first panic attack was at a bar after having a few. Just realize it for what it is. You probably won't encounter this situation any time soon. You may find yourself being afraid of being a passenger -- I still do. However, if it is someone I can trust, I am fine. Otherwise, I drive myself and always give myself an "out," in case I need to. This helps me practice without feeling it is overwhelming. If I am going out with friends, I drive separate or I am the driver. If I know they are going to get too tipsy for my comfort, I choose to do something different that I will enjoy. People drink to feel like they can let you too but it is not a great feeling for all of us! Good job getting through a hard night. Don't beat yourself up about what happened if you are. Just give yourself credit for joining the group and managing to leave when you needed to to find a bathroom and then getting back to the car. And actually, IBS can happen to anyone at anytime for any number of reasons -- we all have to do sometime!

[Lisa Hammonds]

Don't let this set back bother you. I know it's hard not think that you failed. But really, you didn't. You went to a really crowded place with a bunch of drunk people a long way from home. You were not the driver but a passenger. You were with your father in law. Wow and in law. Just sittin' in the same room with in-laws could make most anyone nervous.

It sounds like you over thought the journey. You anticipated it. That can suck!!!! When I start to think about an event...I stop myself. I used to literally get sick to my stomach just thinking about an upcoming event. Now I don't let myself think about it. I just let it happen. Relax and live in this very moment.

I think you did too much at once. I would not stay in the "Backwards" mode. Keep telling yourself you did it anyway...that is success...for real.

You did not get like this overnight....your not going to conquer this overnight either....Pat yourself on the back...You did it anyway...keep telling your self that.."I did it anyway" Poo and all!!!!!

Good luck and keep on trying..you will have successes along the way...

[pearpickinporky]

Yeah I guess I did do OK, I've been in the city many times but usually first thing in the morning, I prefer to go places when they are less crowded, but at night was totally different, I just didn't feel safe, never mind running around like a mad man trying to find someone. I'm sure it will be as long again before I am back in the city at night.

[LyndaLu]

I prefer to go places during the daytime also, and when it is less crowded.
When I used to travel on vacations, I always liked to travel "off-season" when
less people may be around. I liked the feel of going on vacation and just
experiencing the trip around the local people and around less tourists.
Don't let this one trip discourage you. You made it through this one bad
night which shows how strong you were ! I traveled to San Francisco a
few years back and this is when I was having terrible IBD and I was not
yet diagnosed or taking medication. Try finding a bathroom in San Francisco,
almost impossible ! I took lots of public transportation there too, which
was confusing and I did not know where I was going, I just had to trust
the drivers and my instincts ! Keep in touch.

Lynda