My problem with anxiety is the "What If" syndrome. When my husband leaves the house to go to work, to play golf, or if I can't get him on the phone, the "what if's" kick in. What if he has an accident, what if he doesn't come home, what if something happens to him and no one knows how to get in touch with me. It always brings on an anxiety attack and since he works Mon thru Fri, I have them quite often. I often have them on Sundays just thinking about the week ahead being home alone all day. It's also a control issue because I think as long as I have him with me, I can keep him safe, even though I know that's not true. I found something in a book once that I wrote on a 3 x 5 card and I keep it on the windowsill above my kitchen sink so I read it many times each day and sometimes it helps. It says:
I MUST STAY CALM AND NOT LET FEAR RULE MY LIFE! WORRYING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HASN'T HAPPENED WILL NOT CHANGE ANYTHING AND WILL ONLY MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE.
Also is my "life verse" Isaiah 41:13 - FOR I HOLD YOU BY MY RIGHT HAND - I, THE LORD YOUR GOD. AND I SAY TO YOU, "DON'T BE AFRAID. I AM HERE TO HELP YOU."
Yes, anxiety does make my life miserable. I know that God is always there for me, but He puts us through stumbling blocks or a "thorn in our side" for a better outcome in life, and this seems to be mine, but it's been 3 years now, and I'm ready for this stumbling block or thorn to go away.
WHAT IF'S
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Re: WHAT IF'S
Hi Kamo-I can understand your frustration. I haven't had that fear of my husband not being near me, but definitely know the "fear" and "anxiety" you are going through. When mine started last year, beginning with some anxiety after I weaned off of my antidepressant to a full blown panic attack, it was very frightening! Since then by coming here and getting counseling from a CBT Psychologist I've really calmed down.
One of my fears was taking a bath in a newly tile tub surround with all white tile. I saw all the imperfections and then the mist or fog on the mirror if the room got more moisture than was comfortable for me was awful. I know can take a bath or shower, without that fear, and can easily uncover the vent if we are running air conditioning or turn on the fan, which is noisy, but does the job of clearing the extra steam away.
I think part of my anxiety is due to changing hormones at the same time that I weaned off my antidepressants. Along with changing life style and becoming an "empty nester", yet not totally b/c I have a 20 year old DS that still lives at home that is giving me much stress. I've mellowed out quite a bit and work on the idea that someday he won't be living at home and I will not have his actions affect me so much. Which is minor but to me disrespectful, and maybe to him he is just trying to fix something in the yard or house that I have an attachment too. One way or another it is a loss...and I've had many losses lately that I'm sure is the root of my anxiety.
I did listen to Lucinda's CD on What If's all the time while I was taking a bath, her CDs is what kept me calm while in the bathroom and I would also listen in my vehicle when I went anywhere as well as in my kitchen while doing the dishes.
So you will get better... Paislee
One of my fears was taking a bath in a newly tile tub surround with all white tile. I saw all the imperfections and then the mist or fog on the mirror if the room got more moisture than was comfortable for me was awful. I know can take a bath or shower, without that fear, and can easily uncover the vent if we are running air conditioning or turn on the fan, which is noisy, but does the job of clearing the extra steam away.
I think part of my anxiety is due to changing hormones at the same time that I weaned off my antidepressants. Along with changing life style and becoming an "empty nester", yet not totally b/c I have a 20 year old DS that still lives at home that is giving me much stress. I've mellowed out quite a bit and work on the idea that someday he won't be living at home and I will not have his actions affect me so much. Which is minor but to me disrespectful, and maybe to him he is just trying to fix something in the yard or house that I have an attachment too. One way or another it is a loss...and I've had many losses lately that I'm sure is the root of my anxiety.
I did listen to Lucinda's CD on What If's all the time while I was taking a bath, her CDs is what kept me calm while in the bathroom and I would also listen in my vehicle when I went anywhere as well as in my kitchen while doing the dishes.
So you will get better... Paislee
Re: WHAT IF'S
Good day!
I know exactly how you are feeling. I have anxiety and panic attacks that started about a year ago. I am certain that is hormone related, at least a large part of it. I have a 15 year old daughter who is starting to go out and do a lot with her friends. My husband works all of the time and is hardly ever at home. I often cry when I am home alone because my anxiety gets so intense. It starts with worrying about her and if she will be ok. I have to have a plan of what I am going to do when no one is around so that I will not worry about being anxious. A lot of my anxiety started when my mother passed away and I began to consider my daughter leaving for college in a couple of years and what my life would be like. She has always been there and has taken up a lot of my time. With my husband always gone, I don't really know how I will handle the feeling of being alone when she is gone. The thing that works best for me is to make a plan to do a small project. Not one that is overwhelming, but something that will take my mind off the time that I am alone and I pray a lot.
Let me know what has worked for you!
Have a blessed day!
I know exactly how you are feeling. I have anxiety and panic attacks that started about a year ago. I am certain that is hormone related, at least a large part of it. I have a 15 year old daughter who is starting to go out and do a lot with her friends. My husband works all of the time and is hardly ever at home. I often cry when I am home alone because my anxiety gets so intense. It starts with worrying about her and if she will be ok. I have to have a plan of what I am going to do when no one is around so that I will not worry about being anxious. A lot of my anxiety started when my mother passed away and I began to consider my daughter leaving for college in a couple of years and what my life would be like. She has always been there and has taken up a lot of my time. With my husband always gone, I don't really know how I will handle the feeling of being alone when she is gone. The thing that works best for me is to make a plan to do a small project. Not one that is overwhelming, but something that will take my mind off the time that I am alone and I pray a lot.
Let me know what has worked for you!
Have a blessed day!
Re: WHAT IF'S
Thanks for both of your replies. Just pray for me that the "what if's" go away soon.
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Paisleegreen
- Posts: 1778
- Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm
Re: WHAT IF'S
Hi Trex- I can relate being an empty nester and yet I'm not totally alone, due to 20 year old DS still living at home. But not really a part of my life in the sense that I plan his schedule or interact much with him. Much of our interaction are one sentence conversations or I listen to him give a "speech" or it seems. As this can be repeated and everything will be said verbatim. So I feel like this is some of his discussions he has with his group of friends.
My husband is busy with our business that we built up from a shoestring and now many of my adult children are involved and I feel I have no say. So I feel powerless in the decisions that go on around my house and property. If it is for the good of the "company" then my opinions or desires have no merit. So I guess this partly is where my anxiety comes from along with "lack of hormones" and aging. Just so many changes and I've lived life long enough now to know that some things don't get better.
And yet, I know that we can feel better, there are always miracles that can happen and are happening. Just today at this moment I feel a bit down. Here it is in the afternoon, the sun is shining and it is around 61 degrees outside. But I have no energy to get moving and go for a walk, which I know I would feel better. My appt to see a Nurse Practitioner at my Psychiatrist office was cancelled due to late plane. So I have to wait another week to see her or my Psychiatrist to discuss things. I already have a newly set up appt with him due to him being a no show a couple weeks ago due to plane delay or illness.
So there are many things I can be doing but I just can't get moving. It was easy during the summer as I just had to put on a swim suit and head to the waterpark. Not preplanning and I knew that I would get fun exercise in and enjoy the sunshine and happy people. Right now I just see tasks that need to be done before the snow flies. Which I'm not looking forward to.
Sorry, I'm sort of on a downer today...maybe I'll just go back to bed. Prayers sent out to you Kamo, I know it is hard...hugs. Paislee
My husband is busy with our business that we built up from a shoestring and now many of my adult children are involved and I feel I have no say. So I feel powerless in the decisions that go on around my house and property. If it is for the good of the "company" then my opinions or desires have no merit. So I guess this partly is where my anxiety comes from along with "lack of hormones" and aging. Just so many changes and I've lived life long enough now to know that some things don't get better.
And yet, I know that we can feel better, there are always miracles that can happen and are happening. Just today at this moment I feel a bit down. Here it is in the afternoon, the sun is shining and it is around 61 degrees outside. But I have no energy to get moving and go for a walk, which I know I would feel better. My appt to see a Nurse Practitioner at my Psychiatrist office was cancelled due to late plane. So I have to wait another week to see her or my Psychiatrist to discuss things. I already have a newly set up appt with him due to him being a no show a couple weeks ago due to plane delay or illness.
So there are many things I can be doing but I just can't get moving. It was easy during the summer as I just had to put on a swim suit and head to the waterpark. Not preplanning and I knew that I would get fun exercise in and enjoy the sunshine and happy people. Right now I just see tasks that need to be done before the snow flies. Which I'm not looking forward to.
Sorry, I'm sort of on a downer today...maybe I'll just go back to bed. Prayers sent out to you Kamo, I know it is hard...hugs. Paislee
Re: WHAT IF'S
Thanks Paislee. I always look forward to your posts. You're a good person!Paisleegreen wrote:Hi Trex- I can relate being an empty nester and yet I'm not totally alone, due to 20 year old DS still living at home. But not really a part of my life in the sense that I plan his schedule or interact much with him. Much of our interaction are one sentence conversations or I listen to him give a "speech" or it seems. As this can be repeated and everything will be said verbatim. So I feel like this is some of his discussions he has with his group of friends.
My husband is busy with our business that we built up from a shoestring and now many of my adult children are involved and I feel I have no say. So I feel powerless in the decisions that go on around my house and property. If it is for the good of the "company" then my opinions or desires have no merit. So I guess this partly is where my anxiety comes from along with "lack of hormones" and aging. Just so many changes and I've lived life long enough now to know that some things don't get better.
And yet, I know that we can feel better, there are always miracles that can happen and are happening. Just today at this moment I feel a bit down. Here it is in the afternoon, the sun is shining and it is around 61 degrees outside. But I have no energy to get moving and go for a walk, which I know I would feel better. My appt to see a Nurse Practitioner at my Psychiatrist office was cancelled due to late plane. So I have to wait another week to see her or my Psychiatrist to discuss things. I already have a newly set up appt with him due to him being a no show a couple weeks ago due to plane delay or illness.
So there are many things I can be doing but I just can't get moving. It was easy during the summer as I just had to put on a swim suit and head to the waterpark. Not preplanning and I knew that I would get fun exercise in and enjoy the sunshine and happy people. Right now I just see tasks that need to be done before the snow flies. Which I'm not looking forward to.
Sorry, I'm sort of on a downer today...maybe I'll just go back to bed. Prayers sent out to you Kamo, I know it is hard...hugs. Paislee