NEGATIVE THINKING

[KAMO]

I just finished listening to Session 3, and boy that was tough. I never realized how many negative thoughts, especially "what if's" I have during the day. I realized I actually wake up with a negative thought, usually, how lonely am I going to be today with my husband at work and what if something happens and he doesn't come home. That brings on an anxiety attack real quick. Now I just have to learn how to get rid of my negative thinking. I've been trying to tell myself all morning that everything will be fine, but it doesn't always work out and I'm dealing with anxiety right now. Any suggestions would be welcomed and appreciated.

[tina martin]

Am sure not at my best today myself but Session 3 is a key one. It is (I think) about Self: self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth. Now I don't have the program, this is from what I've read in posts, if I'm correct.

Regardless, I've spent years trying to build my Self, a process that never ends. I try to tell myself (and write it out) all the good things about my Self I can think of. The goal is to like, even love, yourself. I will also push myself to any physical exercise and meditate twice a day. Just some thoughts.

[Paisleegreen]

HI Kamo- Tina gave you some great advice. I wake up anxious on some days, but not all of them. So I'm still working things out. I was suppose to see my Psychiatrist today, but he was ill and I didn't know it until I went to his office. So I did go to a bookstore and read some books and bought a nice music CD. I did make an appt for next month, so I hope he shows. I haven't seen him for a year and I need to see him for a med check due to me taking Temazepam at night.

I understand completely about the What Ifs and negative thinking, reading some of the books on that subject was helpful. Of course, we want to fix our problem right now! I hope you have a great day tomorrow! Paislee

[SoWhatif]

Kamo is there away we can help you stay away from the stinkin thinking of what if? Do you have a hobby or a thing you would like to do? To much thinking is bad for us, we need to be productive and proactive. Maybe a workout with some neibors can be of a help.
Just brainstorming things to keep one busy and away from all the whatif"s.

[KAMO]

Kamo is there away we can help you stay away from the stinkin thinking of what if? Do you have a hobby or a thing you would like to do? To much thinking is bad for us, we need to be productive and proactive. Maybe a workout with some neibors can be of a help.
Just brainstorming things to keep one busy and away from all the whatif"s.

Hi SoWhitif and thanks for the advice. My biggest problem is there is no one in my neighborhood to do anything with. They are all at work, so I'm pretty much home alone during the day. I never had a problem like this until 3 years ago when I quit my job and now it seems like I've lost interest in so many things. I used to love to work in my yard, do jigsaw and crossword puzzles, watch soap operas, and read. Now I don't do any of those things. I know I have try to keep myself busy, because that really helps, but I'll tell myself the night before what I'm going to do the next day and the next day I don't do it. I hate the "what if's" but can't seem to rid myself of them. I'm praying the CD's will help.

[KAMO]

HI Kamo- Tina gave you some great advice. I wake up anxious on some days, but not all of them. So I'm still working things out. I was suppose to see my Psychiatrist today, but he was ill and I didn't know it until I went to his office. So I did go to a bookstore and read some books and bought a nice music CD. I did make an appt for next month, so I hope he shows. I haven't seen him for a year and I need to see him for a med check due to me taking Temazepam at night.

I understand completely about the What Ifs and negative thinking, reading some of the books on that subject was helpful. Of course, we want to fix our problem right now! I hope you have a great day tomorrow! Paislee

Thanks Paisleegreen. Do you have the names of any books you read that have helped you?

[jpoynter]

I too have issues with negative thinking and I also was shocked that I was considered a negative thinker once I listened to Session 3. I always thought I was a very positive thinker and I have been the person my friends come to for comfort and advice. I also wake up anxious many days. I do not like feeling this way and continue to use the program to try to learn new skills to help me improve. I am sure I am like many others and want an immediate "fix". I just try to remind myself that it took me years to get here and that I am slowly but surely improving. I just ordered the book "Been There, Done That" today that I saw was suggested on this site and hope that it helps as well. It is definitely comforting to know that others are experiencing what I am and that I am not alone. I hope that comforts you also.

[KAMO]

I too have issues with negative thinking and I also was shocked that I was considered a negative thinker once I listened to Session 3. I always thought I was a very positive thinker and I have been the person my friends come to for comfort and advice. I also wake up anxious many days. I do not like feeling this way and continue to use the program to try to learn new skills to help me improve. I am sure I am like many others and want an immediate "fix". I just try to remind myself that it took me years to get here and that I am slowly but surely improving. I just ordered the book "Been There, Done That" today that I saw was suggested on this site and hope that it helps as well. It is definitely comforting to know that others are experiencing what I am and that I am not alone. I hope that comforts you also.

I'm not happy that others are going through this, but I always felt I was the only person on earth that had problems with anxiety, and it helps knowing I'm not alone. Thanks for the encouragement and please let me know if this book helps and is worth the money. I've purchased so many books that didn't do a thing for me, I'm skeptical about getting another one.

[Paisleegreen]

Kamo What helped me the best during my most anxious period is listening to Lucinda's CDs over and over while I was taking a bath or in my vehicle or in the kitchen doing dishes.

Before I had Lucinda's CDs and now her workbooks, StressCenter.com is what helped me. Also, Dr David Burns "10 Steps to Self-Esteem Workbook". I got it through Hastings and it has a chart to mark how you are feeling and you add them up. My Psychologist only documented that I did each Step/Lesson and wrote down my numbers on the questionaire of feelings or symptoms. At the time I didn't realize one chart was for Anxiety...which I didn't score too high on as I was still on antidepressants and Xanax.

And life was relatively, not really, but sort of was going my way and I was able to wean off the meds. Only to have a panic attack 4 months later after my son packed up my family room that had all my books, hobby stuff, sewing supplies, family memories, pictures, and furntiture so that he could use this room to entertain his friends. I was totally shocked..and upset. About a week later I had my first panic attack. Very Scary!

So it is a year and 4 months later, I'm off of antidepressants and also considered a woman in Menopause officially. I've been here for just about a year...so I have come a long way. And during this time I couldn't eat anything except protien...foods with Omega 3's in it is what kept me going and walking or being around happy people or serving others. I have to report I have had 3 small homemade chocolate chip cookies a few hours ago. In the past there was no way I could eat sugar and chocolate and not be very anxious and scared. I did have an egg, green beans and mile before the cookies arrived. But that is a big milestone for me.

Anyway, I've been quite angry with this son as well as hurt and also with my husband at times. We've also been through counseling together for less than a year, since the Panic Attacks started. My feelings have been deeply hurt and they have brought up many past hurts...which I'm actively working on.

I would have to say that my faith in God has been one of my sources for strength and peace. I recently have been reading C.S. Lewis' "The Screwtape Letters" and watched the three Chronicles of Narnia movies. This helps to give me peace and understanding and has helped to calm my nerves and my expectations of other people. I've had understanding of other people, but that was when I was on anti depressants and my hormones were at a normal level and I wasn't an empty nester and other variables. I'm getting older and things are changing, we live in a stressful time and most people that are anxious do not like changes. I do not like changes...I've had too many shocking changes, which one of them was my son's death. So anything after that is very upsetting to me...so I guess I was due to have anxiety issues that actually would give me a full panic attack.

I better wind this up...as for your plans to do things...try to not plan...just take it minute by minute...that is what I've had to do. My brain cannot process things as quickly as it use to at this time...decisions take longer...my anxiety levels raises. My Psychologist says to do things I use to do, that I became afraid to do. But to not over do it b/c it will cause too much stress and I wouldn't be able to do anything.

I hope this helps...paislee

[KAMO]

Kamo What helped me the best during my most anxious period is listening to Lucinda's CDs over and over while I was taking a bath or in my vehicle or in the kitchen doing dishes.

Before I had Lucinda's CDs and now her workbooks, StressCenter.com is what helped me. Also, Dr David Burns "10 Steps to Self-Esteem Workbook". I got it through Hastings and it has a chart to mark how you are feeling and you add them up. My Psychologist only documented that I did each Step/Lesson and wrote down my numbers on the questionaire of feelings or symptoms. At the time I didn't realize one chart was for Anxiety...which I didn't score too high on as I was still on antidepressants and Xanax.

And life was relatively, not really, but sort of was going my way and I was able to wean off the meds. Only to have a panic attack 4 months later after my son packed up my family room that had all my books, hobby stuff, sewing supplies, family memories, pictures, and furntiture so that he could use this room to entertain his friends. I was totally shocked..and upset. About a week later I had my first panic attack. Very Scary!

So it is a year and 4 months later, I'm off of antidepressants and also considered a woman in Menopause officially. I've been here for just about a year...so I have come a long way. And during this time I couldn't eat anything except protien...foods with Omega 3's in it is what kept me going and walking or being around happy people or serving others. I have to report I have had 3 small homemade chocolate chip cookies a few hours ago. In the past there was no way I could eat sugar and chocolate and not be very anxious and scared. I did have an egg, green beans and mile before the cookies arrived. But that is a big milestone for me.

Anyway, I've been quite angry with this son as well as hurt and also with my husband at times. We've also been through counseling together for less than a year, since the Panic Attacks started. My feelings have been deeply hurt and they have brought up many past hurts...which I'm actively working on.

I would have to say that my faith in God has been one of my sources for strength and peace. I recently have been reading C.S. Lewis' "The Screwtape Letters" and watched the three Chronicles of Narnia movies. This helps to give me peace and understanding and has helped to calm my nerves and my expectations of other people. I've had understanding of other people, but that was when I was on anti depressants and my hormones were at a normal level and I wasn't an empty nester and other variables. I'm getting older and things are changing, we live in a stressful time and most people that are anxious do not like changes. I do not like changes...I've had too many shocking changes, which one of them was my son's death. So anything after that is very upsetting to me...so I guess I was due to have anxiety issues that actually would give me a full panic attack.

I better wind this up...as for your plans to do things...try to not plan...just take it minute by minute...that is what I've had to do. My brain cannot process things as quickly as it use to at this time...decisions take longer...my anxiety levels raises. My Psychologist says to do things I use to do, that I became afraid to do. But to not over do it b/c it will cause too much stress and I wouldn't be able to do anything.

I hope this helps...paislee

Hi Paislee and thanks for the advice. I am so sorry to hear that you lost your son. I know that has to be tough. I've been in menopause over a year now and my doctor thinks most of my problems are due to hormones, but I know it has to be more than that. I have always been a planner and like to know week to week what I'm going to be doing. My husband is just the opposite and when he had a week off this summer, he didn't decide to go anywhere until the day we left. Part of my problem is my parents. My mother is almost 85 and just got home from rehab after she fell. Her neurologist saw her Monday and says she thinks she has early Parkinson's. My father is an 83 year old alcoholic, control freak, and narcicist, and thinks he knows everything. I just went to see them today, and felt fine until after I got there and could feel the onset of an anxiety attack. It's just hard to see my mother like that, when just a few years ago she was still playing golf, loved to read, do puzzles, and play cards. Now she just sits in her chair, usually doesn't remember what you said 5 minutes later, and often just stares off into space. I know I need to visit them more often, but it sure puts a toll on me. I've prayed many times for God to take me before I ever get like that. You have been a big help to me on this board and I always look forward to your posts and suggestions.