Started again. Question on overcoming fears
Started again. Question on overcoming fears
Hi all. I have started the program again with all hopes for sticking to it this time around. I really want to get better and have tried hard but somehow failed. One of my main problems is fear. I get so nervous in sweaty and awkward in social situations. I don't want to live this way anymore. I am 44 and feel ridiculous being so timid and insecure. I feel like I am always being judged and worry about everyone else and what they think of me. I seriously feel like I give off bad negative energy because I feel very isolated and like it is so difficult to meet people without feeling awkward or like they don't like me. I have struggled with this for to long now and it is not helping me in any way. I want confidence and to feel like I am giving off good energy to others. I feel like people must really think I am strange and I no they think it is weird to be a mom of 4 and be so shy and insecure. For instance I am told to volunteer to get me out of the house around people but I feel so in competent to even try doing that. I thought about volunteering to help in my daughters class room but everytime I go to the school for orientation or family night I feel uncomfortable so I would not benefit helping in her class. I am sorry to go on and make this so long but this is my only source, I can't talk to family members they don't understand and husband says to be positive he doesn't have much to say. Well my question is how and where do I start. I also suffer from anxiety, panic attacks and I beleive depression but really would not like to have to take medicine if it can be helped naturally. I am really needing the advice. I am listening to my first cd again today. Oh I do hope to have better days ahead. Have a blessed day and thanks for listening.
Re: Started again. Question on overcoming fears
Hey Ali04,
I really understand. I have the same feelings a lot of times and after I did the program a few years back, I really had to ask myself, "do I really not want to socialize today with so and so, or is this my anxiety"? I don't know about you, but in general I really like being alone (not isolated). There is a difference. This program should work beautifully for you if that's your source of anxiety.. You just need to understand that most of the time, nobody really cares what you do, how you look, why you said that, etc. etc. Whenever I start with those thoughts, my husband just looks at me and goes "nobody gives a ----!" "Your'e giving yourself too much credit"!!!
I know this really bothers you, but it is funny if you really think about it. I went away for about four days recently and when I got home, me and my kids were taking stuff out of the car and my neighbor drives up. He asked if I was going away. I was stunned. I told him, Jeez, i just got back, I've been gone for days.. He didn't even notice and this is one of our nosiest neighbors on the block!!!!
Do the program, and when it's time, go into your kids' school hands sweaty, heart pounding and all. Do it a few times-it will get better and you will see, in a good way nobody cares!!!!
I really understand. I have the same feelings a lot of times and after I did the program a few years back, I really had to ask myself, "do I really not want to socialize today with so and so, or is this my anxiety"? I don't know about you, but in general I really like being alone (not isolated). There is a difference. This program should work beautifully for you if that's your source of anxiety.. You just need to understand that most of the time, nobody really cares what you do, how you look, why you said that, etc. etc. Whenever I start with those thoughts, my husband just looks at me and goes "nobody gives a ----!" "Your'e giving yourself too much credit"!!!
I know this really bothers you, but it is funny if you really think about it. I went away for about four days recently and when I got home, me and my kids were taking stuff out of the car and my neighbor drives up. He asked if I was going away. I was stunned. I told him, Jeez, i just got back, I've been gone for days.. He didn't even notice and this is one of our nosiest neighbors on the block!!!!
Do the program, and when it's time, go into your kids' school hands sweaty, heart pounding and all. Do it a few times-it will get better and you will see, in a good way nobody cares!!!!
Re: Started again. Question on overcoming fears
Dear ali04,
You know, I've been studying a book from a totally different type of program, but the advice in the book is amazing. It says ALL suffering comes from RESISTANCE to feelings, not the memories or feelings themselves (they are just habits of coping). The advice sounds wierd but it REALLY is helping me. It says that when you have the fear, anxiety, depression, etc., instead of resisting it, which will only make it worse, to OBSERVE it as though you were outside looking in. What are the physical sensations? Don't worry so much about WHY you feel this way, just look at your reactions with curiosity, and they will dissipate (go away). It works! Practice this for awhile and see what it does for you. Others reading this, the same goes for you! God bless.
Kathie
You know, I've been studying a book from a totally different type of program, but the advice in the book is amazing. It says ALL suffering comes from RESISTANCE to feelings, not the memories or feelings themselves (they are just habits of coping). The advice sounds wierd but it REALLY is helping me. It says that when you have the fear, anxiety, depression, etc., instead of resisting it, which will only make it worse, to OBSERVE it as though you were outside looking in. What are the physical sensations? Don't worry so much about WHY you feel this way, just look at your reactions with curiosity, and they will dissipate (go away). It works! Practice this for awhile and see what it does for you. Others reading this, the same goes for you! God bless.
Kathie