Stress has ruined my life! On my FACE that is!

[King Peace]

The stress that shows on my face has ruined my life. I am 51 and stress shows on my face in a second. I don't even know what I look like. It effects others perception of me. People have seen the stress on my face and talked about me behind my back at the jobs I have had in years past. It probably shows on my job interviews. Children look at me when I'm in a bad mood and kind of get scared. All my life I have been like this, even as a child. My mother used to say I had a miserable face. And now I am 51, unemployed for 3 years, a failing marriage and a miserable life. I guess not amount of plastic surgery could fix this.

[SoWhatif]

Hey King,
How do I yank your chan back into moving forward? As aggravating as ageing may be it is life and what really matters is not our exterior, it is our inside, Our heart and the mind will follow. If you want to share more about the stress maybe we can offer some tools or actions to detach from the negative spiral that seems to be dragging on you. Your mother was not very considerate in her self esteem building talents, so be it it is in the past and your achng heart really knows better.
What have you done that is constructive for your well being today? I am not able to post as much as before but I read alot.
This thread caught me as to the pain that is showing in the words. Please do not be discouraged as you have the power, lets see if we can get it fired up.
Later and get some nourishment and exercise, the physical type not the physc type that wears one out. Stress can be a good thing when we manage it instead of it manageing us.
Be safe.
R

[King Peace]

Your mother was not very considerate in her self esteem building talents, so be it it is in the past and your achng heart really knows better.

Thanks for the feedback. While my mother was not perfect she certainly had her share of praise for me. She would compliment my looks, my talents, ect.... Sometimes too much. But such is life. We are all walking dichotomies aren't we.

Yes, I sure am negative. Can I change it? Will I change it? That remains to be seen. I hope so. I have to.

[tawascove]

King ,If I can change MY negative thinking--I KNOW that you can! I am sorry that you seemed to get conflicting ? themes from your Mom, I did for sure, but she seemed to have great praise for her child! That is good. We are all venting here and if you need to vent about anything painful or negative--I'm not going anyplace!!!

[tawascove]

R--thanks for reminding me I need to get up and do my physical stuff as well as my emotional muscle building! Oh, do I need to be reminded...again,and again....like a child!

[Gigi123]

You're right, no amount of plastic surgery will fix that because it has NOTHING to do with the outside. It's entirely your attitude. I use to have a problem blushing and I so I tried wearing makeup, tried to cover up, that would surely work. Nope, if anything it made it worse because I was focusing on it so much! I ditched the makeup and started working on my self confidence, THAT was the real issue, it was not a physiological problem, it was a psychological problem.

Life's hard! And it's so difficult to some days not sit down and have a pity party for yourself, been there, done that, could write a book. But there are so many good and wonderful things to experience and with a positive mind, you'll start seeing a lot more of the good than the bad. Because either way, in EVERYONE'S lives, good and bad exists.

[King Peace]

Gigi good points. How many times I have tried to change. How many times I said this is it, I will be a positive person from here on in. But I always end up where I am now. I know even this is temporary. But as you said, good and bad exists in everyone's life.

[Gigi123]

King Peace,

I think what helped me was realizing that I didn't have to be 100% better. I was striving for absolute perfection, telling myself that I never wanted to blush again in my life, like that was going to happen! It still happens from time to time but I'm not overly hard on myself, I laugh it off and that has made a world of a difference. I guess in some ways I've learned to live with it and in doing so, it's greatly reduced the amount of times it happens and especially working on my self esteem has made a world of a difference. But in reality, I'm not always going to feel confident and that's ok. I guess acceptance is key here. I bet you have improved and you're not even seeing that because you're striving for perfection. I think you need to find a happy medium.