Changes, How do we make them?

[tina martin]

Do you need a friend like Little Jackie to help you with your change? Puff did well as long as he had Jackie riding his tail. Alone, he crawled into his cave.

No cave for us. We face whatever we must, alone or with others.

[Loveslife]

Don't be sad, Whatif.
You are never alone. Without change, we will never have growth.
Soon, spring will be in the air, the Robins will be singing and change and rebirth will be everywhere.
J.

[tina martin]

My head is spinning all around. This is not natural, the head can only turn 90 degrees in two directions, never 360. So I go pacing the floor, back and forth, back and forth, the head never facing the right direction. It's because some people turn things upside down or round and round.

Boss says wherever we show up there is trouble. So I correct him: That's how it was in the Land of Oz with Dorothy (J), Tin Man (R) and Lion (T). Did they make it to see the Great Wizard? Of course, they did. What's more, they were then invited to spread their wisdom all around. Everyone, absolutely everyone, welcomes them.

[SoWhatif]

Loveslife, thank you. I like the name as I do much love life, not to thrilled with the destination points I have arrived at recently.

Tina, Owls reposition their heads so quick it appears that they do turn 360". I like the wisdom from this "lion" wise Owl.
Thanks for the uplift as the day prepares to start anew.
Your amazing at catching the point about Jackie, A true and humble survivor your Boss has.
Like Puff though, I've been missing Jackie and have stayed close to my cave of late. Allmost scared to venture out, that is not the usual me.

Had a Moma Robbie in the yard yesterday. Was a inspiration, then I wonder, is that bird nuts. It is only 20 something degrees out here. What do I know, I will leave it to the birds.

R

[tina martin]

Puff is really quite the little song, isn't it? You picked a good version. What Puff might learn is that friends, real or virtual, can help him to frolic about once again. And so will you, R. That's what we all try to do for each other.

I was mighty worried yesterday after my flight into fantasy and the site got into fixing mode again. "Aha, we have new mad hackers here. Let's get rid of them." Well, we're still here.

Boss always wants to know where Owl got its degrees. "The library" I tell him. "All manner of degrees sit right on those shelves." Plus, as I like to remind him, "Freud lived in Vienna when we were still there. His spirit invaded mine." Then I hear him thinking, "I married her because if she found her way around the world, she'll be handy as I intend to pursue my adventures. Good for packing, unpacking, buying, selling, interior design, change of address notices, keeping in touch with people, etc. etc. Where does Freud come into this picture?

On my walks I hear the birds, but can't see them, yet. They know what they're doing. Do we?

Hello, my dear Loveslife. We love you. And you will love the people here. They will appreciate your many natural gifts. The program, based on CBT, is part of what you practice too.

Oh, happy day.

[Loveslife]

Now let me see, she pondered.......

We have an Owl and a definite sighting of a Robin...It seems we are missing our beloved Pooh. (Acat)
Sigh...my oh my, what shall we do?

Off to volunteer today, but I shall be thinking of my beloved Christopher Robin and Owl. Eeyore we can do without...

[tina martin]

Since chat is not working here, is it wrong to respond as if...........? I guess I'll find out. Not having grown up here, I never read Pooh. Did my children? Must ask them.

Last spring I had my affair with two sets of mom and pop robbies and their babies. It was an experience of a lifetime. Truly. Never felt so connected to nature. When I meditate I envision mom robbie (dad was out philandering) standing on the edge of the nest quietly, patiently, while the little ones dropped into slumber. A wonderful image to soothe stress, anxiety.

J, enjoy your day out. It is my day in (except for walk) which I love best.

[Loveslife]

Suddenly I understand the pontifications Sowhatif is making regarding change.

We really have to WANT to change, but change in itself is so scary. I see that now.

I had the worst day today. The worst day volunteering ever. First, I went in feeling sick to begin with, but not sick enough
to stay home. Just the feeling of a horrible cold, right before it sets in. And my body feels weak as well. Now, after arriving home, I feel as if I have a fever too.

But, my supervisor is exactly like my mother. (this has not gone unnoticed by my psychiatrist, trust me) She is mean, bitter and vindictive. I am a volunteer, and enjoy everything about volunteering. I also am sort of comfortable sitting next to a very mean, bitter and vindictive old woman. (also duly noted by my psychiatrist)

But today, I started to question why I was putting myself through this. Why am I sitting in this hospital, volunteering, when I feel sick and weak and this woman is so horrible. (trust me Tina and Whatif, she is like nothing you've ever seen before)

And then I started thinking...My new job is a switchboard operator and I will be working from 12midnight - 8am. So, I proved that I can land a job, but I'm terrified that I will hate the job. Or worse, that I'm too ........ well, smart for the job. But I have to start somewhere, and someone gave me a chance. But what am I trying to prove and to whom am I trying to prove something?

Answer: I am trying to prove to myself that I can do this, and that I can take a position that some might say is beneath me and (yes, I said it) and prove that it is not beneath me and I can and will do anything to prove that I am valuable.

I'm rambling. Part of me just wants to give up. And go on vacation. Or hibernate forever. The other part knows that I will be at the hospital again for training tomorrow morning at 8am. The other part wants to quit.

The rest of me is just rambling. The other part of me is scared of change.
The other part of me is confused.
No part of me is happy right now.

My conclusion part two:
Change is not easy and it is very scary.

Vent over. Hopefully.

[tina martin]

J, my dear, vent all you need. What bothers you is likely to bother others here too. You are helping them. You can take what I post, or reject it. First, as soon as I started to read, I went and got a Kiwi, high in Vit. C. Check with your Dr. but I am a Vit. C junkie. Keeps me this side of the divide re colds and infections.

Second, you have every reason to volunteer and to take the job for any number of reasons, I need not spell out. Forget supervisor. She'll be out of your life soon enough. Third, and most important, is your attitude to this job. ALL, ALL, ALL work (legal) is worthy and honorable and of value. Be proud of the work you'll do, and the paycheck you'll collect. Perhaps, in time once you're "in" other opportunities may present themself. For now, you need to rest, and try and be well for tomorrow. Think of all you've accomplished. So, so much. Give yourself a hug for being so brave. Cross your arms and hold your shoulders.Think of what you'll wear tomorrow. Think of what or where you'll eat lunch. We are with you.

[tina martin]

PS. A man here once wrote a most fabulous piece about work. Believe I remember who it was but can't find the post. Maybe if he reads this he'll tell us where it is.