Anyone living alone out there?

[creamcheesepuff]

I have been living alone since 1985, I am almost 55 years old. Obsessing over certain things becomes so intense when you are alone. Is there anyone who can relate with me out there? do you find you think differently than people with families, are treated differently? Feel differently among friends? Do you have pets. I am hoping someone can connect with me, I have been feeling pretty badly since November when I left my Childhood home behind.

[Kathie C.]

I lived alone for only about 18 months, but found it so anxiety-producing and empty that I got desperate enough to remarry my ex! We have been back together for two years, and I hate it--we are more like roommates than spouses--but it still beats living alone, so I definitely relate. Don't know how you have stood it for so long. You will be in my prayers specifically that you find someone special to share your home and life.
Kathie

[THH]

Creamcheese!
Hey Girl glad to see you still here! I am married so I am not just as you are, but I never had children so it has been just my husband and I. We are looked at different too. All while our friends raised their kids we had filled our time with other things. Now being in our 50's it does seam so empty at times. For me I have to keep growing and learning new things. My cousin she never married lives alone and seams to do fine.
Yes people seam to look at us different. and my cousin as well.
I have pets, 2 dogs 1 cat. 2 horses and a donkey!
Have you met any new people where you moved to yet? Are there any things where you live you can join to be social?
I hope you are feeling better!

[Paisleegreen]

Hi Creamcheese! Glad to see you! I don't live alone, but sometimes it seems that way, only because everyone else has their own lives. My sons are involved in their own lives with their wives and my daughter is alone, she wouldn't mind being married, but hasn't found the right guy. I personally don't know how she does it. Her sliding glass window didn't have any shades or curtains on it and it open up to a neighbor's open farm and their nice house as a nice view. Yet, his main drive comes off a main thorough fare and I question her about leaving her house so open to what she is doing at night.

It was fine when my son lived with her I guess, even though, he was gone 2 weeks out of the month. Plus the two houses built very close to her were empty. She lives in a new housing development. She ignored what my concerns were, but did just recently get some blinds for the sliding door that anyone sneaking over her fence could see her in the greatroom/familyroom/kitchen area. She's had a couple roommates since my son moved out which turned out creepy.

I guess its good she doesn't worry the way I do, but I've experienced life more than her so I don't trust everyone to be who they say they are or appear to be.

I have a dear friend that has been living alone as well, she was once married and raised a daughter pretty much on her own. But she is very protective of where she lives and gives out only a P.O. Box in a different city. But that doesn't keep her from traveling or living in places I would never go. So you have a lot of strengths and courage.

On another note to you independent women that have horses and donkeys and other critters. My son wants to buy a pistol.
This scares me as accidents happen and I worry about him losing his temper and doing something foolish. He is 19 1/2, but hasn't left home yet. He says he'll keep it in a safe.

Just wondered if any of you women living alone have guns?

I also am sending out prayers for you Creamcheese and hope that you will find some new friends quickly. I'm with the others, I know that cold temperatures keep everyone inside for awhile. Hugs sent your way. Paisleei

[Flyer99]

Hi Creamcheese, I'm in exactly the same position you find yourself and I am about the same age as well. I have been living alone for almost 4 years now since my Mom had to go into a special care home. I used to care for her for about the prior 8 years or so. I had a dog up to about 5 years ago when she passed away. I don't have any pets now. I ramble about in a big house and I am thinking of selling up and getting an apartment or condo, something easier to take care of. That's one reason I have no pets because if I decide to sell and move there are many places that don't accept pets.

After my Mom had to move out, I was lost. The silence in the house was overwhelming. I eventually had to seek some help from a therapist friend of mine. It's lonely not having anyone to chat with in person. I mean, I chat on the phone or online but it's not the same. Although I have adjusted, I still have to have a radio or tv on in the house just to make some noise. I try and get out every day (which has been hard to do with all the snow and ice this winter) to break the monotony. I don't have many hobbies, but I am online a lot. Come spring I plan on getting out more and perhaps taking up some new things, joining a club or two, meeting some new people. I find that my anxiety and stress is worse when alone with my own thoughts.

So, I know exactly what you are talking about. I am where you are.

[manofmusic]

THH - Don't get Mrs T Bones a donkey ! She'll mount it to her wall with the rest of the farm animals LOL You're never alone when you have a stuffed animal on your wall ! LOL !!!!!!!!! Poor donkey...........

Flyer - If you feel that you want a change and move to a condo or apartment, then go for it ! Just make sure you are moving for the right reasons. Sign up for a course at a college or like you said just get out more. Go out for walks. That's what I do ! Now that the nicer weather is almost here, there's no reason not to get out and about.

Paislee - Guns scare me too ! I'd say "no way".

[tina martin]

I don't fit in so well because two of us are still here. But truth is that hubby was a workaholic from day one and continues to this day. We'll be together 50 years this year if neither one of us walks out before then.....ha, ha. Anyway, he is around very little, children are gone, pets are gone (had a number of them), family was left behind in opposite sides of the country. The upshot? I'm alone most of the time. But I happen to like being alone with help from websites.

Flyer, I wish I could take you to the gym with me. I'd show you everything, count sets for you and take you to the best stations. I agree a move would probably be good for you. Am a very experienced "relocator" to help any way I can.

[Paisleegreen]

Tina, I'm sort of the same way, DH is a workaholic too and his work was at night so he would sleep during the day. Then I kep myself occupied w/ children, pets, and gardens. Then all of that went away and he is home more during the day, but driving me crazy! Be cause you can still be lonely, when someone is there if you don't share the same interests or TV shows and whatnot.

How are you doing today, Creamcheese?

[tina martin]

Yes, it all goes away, and yes, you can feel just as alone. Lots of company for creamcheese, though being all alone is different, no doubt.

Now, I have always admired women (or men) on their own. They have invariably struck me as smart, self-possessed, capable, far less helpless or dependent than the rest of us. And, loneliness, as you can see, comes mostly from within. Hope you are feeling better about it.

[Paisleegreen]

I agree, I have always admired women that can live alone. They've got "guts" or some special angels watching over them.