About 3 months ago it felt like a switch went on in my head. I thought a completely irrational thought and ever since then I've been filled with doubt about my boyfriend.
My thoughts centre around not being good enough for him and not loving him enough. I keep getting thoughts like 'well, you won't be with him next week so don't worry about it', or if I look at him and just feel neutral my head goes 'well, obviously you are numb and you don't feel anything'.
I don't want to feel like this. There are times when I see glimpses of the way I was - happy and loving and nothing worried me. My boyfriend is the sweetest guy, he knows I've been anxious and has said he'd stick by me through anything.
But how about if I can't stick by him?
Maybe it was the way my ex treated me that is making me freak out in this healthy relationship. But when I try to rationalise it my brain tells me that I"m just making excuses.
I don't know what to do. I hate feeling this anxious pressure on my chest. I want it to go away.
I just want to feel like I used to.
Sorry to hear you're having trouble.
Can I assume that you've typically had obsessive thoughts in the past about other things as well? If that's the case, then this is no different it's just a new subject. Furthermore, do you really want to go back to the way you were if you you used to worry about things unnecessarily? Wouldn't you rather go to a point where you don't obsess about things at all?
Breaking those obsessive thought patterns is key to recovering. As we learn in the program, the best technique to stop this cycle is to first recognize that your obsessively worrying as soon as it starts to happen. Then interrupt the thoughts; tell yourself to STOP. Lastly, distract yourself with other thoughts. If you can break the repeating cycle of obsessive thoughts then the worry will ebb away.
Best of luck,
Jamie
Can I assume that you've typically had obsessive thoughts in the past about other things as well? If that's the case, then this is no different it's just a new subject. Furthermore, do you really want to go back to the way you were if you you used to worry about things unnecessarily? Wouldn't you rather go to a point where you don't obsess about things at all?
Breaking those obsessive thought patterns is key to recovering. As we learn in the program, the best technique to stop this cycle is to first recognize that your obsessively worrying as soon as it starts to happen. Then interrupt the thoughts; tell yourself to STOP. Lastly, distract yourself with other thoughts. If you can break the repeating cycle of obsessive thoughts then the worry will ebb away.
Best of luck,
Jamie