How do you ignore people who set you off?
I'm at session 2 and having a real issue with one of my triggers, that being my work colleagues. Session 2 tells us to accept, move on etc but its damn hard, these people really get me into a negative train of thought day in day out by how horrible they are, back stabbing, bitching, butt kissing etc, the obvious answer is to switch jobs but its not easy, how do I stop being effected so much by these folk?
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Guest
lesson 4 might help you out a bit more in this situation because it talks about expectations. from what i read you have made shoulds about how other acts. Like people shouldn't complain or butt kiss and the back stabbing. People are going to do these things regardless of if you want them to or not, you cannot change people only yourself.
I know when i first went through the program there was this one guy where i worked who kept saying something i found really annoying. It wasn't purposely done to bother me but it just got under my skin sooooo much, i think i might have had some obsessive thoughts about yelling at the person but i never did. This is where the replacing thoughts on paper really helped me out. I had to keep reminding myself that the person isn't doing it to bother me, it isn't doing direct damage and you can do the relaxation techniques (breathing or the progressive muscle relaxation) everytime it happens.
With backstabbing you just make sure you don't tell certain things to certain people and if you are hearing it from someone else well tell them you don't want to hear it...same thing with the complaining. The butt kissing well, all you can do is change how you respond to it.
I wouldn't say the obvious answer is to switch jobs...i mean how many times are you willing to switch jobs because of the other people? You start running because of that and you will always be running.
Mike
I know when i first went through the program there was this one guy where i worked who kept saying something i found really annoying. It wasn't purposely done to bother me but it just got under my skin sooooo much, i think i might have had some obsessive thoughts about yelling at the person but i never did. This is where the replacing thoughts on paper really helped me out. I had to keep reminding myself that the person isn't doing it to bother me, it isn't doing direct damage and you can do the relaxation techniques (breathing or the progressive muscle relaxation) everytime it happens.
With backstabbing you just make sure you don't tell certain things to certain people and if you are hearing it from someone else well tell them you don't want to hear it...same thing with the complaining. The butt kissing well, all you can do is change how you respond to it.
I wouldn't say the obvious answer is to switch jobs...i mean how many times are you willing to switch jobs because of the other people? You start running because of that and you will always be running.
Mike
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Guest
That's hard to answer. I was wondering the same thing. My wife did everything to set me off last week. I can honestly say I was a victim. She was passive aggressive and new just what buttons to push to make me look like the bad guy. Ignoring people who set you off is a tricky thing. Because the more you ignore them the more buttons they will push and try to make you look like the bad guy. If you don't live with them it's a lot easier than if you do.