I am alone in my thinking?

[Madimac]

Well, I have been in this journey of recovery or whatever you want to call it for almost 5 months. What I have learned from this is that I know that I am not alone and Wow it has been a journey.

I have had many days of ups and downs. Body symptoms that I would describe as a confusing mess. I have been to about 5 doctors and have over $10K in medical bills. I have had ever test done known to man. Heartburn for days at a time. Why? I am not on any medication and hey maybe I need to be, but I just didn't want anything to alter my mood. I currently have a headache for the past week and can't figure why? Weather? Stress and Tension? Who knows?

But today as I sit here, I don't have heart paps anymore, the body symptoms are not as bad as they were in the beginning back in Dec 09.

But yes there are days that I just don't understand why God has taken me though this test. Was it a wake up call to get my stuff together? Was it his way of saying now that I have your attention, what are you going to do now.

I have been reading my bible, listening to more positive things, trying to have a more positive outlook on life, but to be honest, sometimes that is not always easy to do.

I know my issues and concerns are not like some I have heard and seen through this website, and I wish someone would make a magic pill and "POOF" we all would get better instantly!!! Wouldn't that be nice.

But, I have been some wonderful friends through the chatroom and you know who you are!!! Thank you for all of the nights and days that you allowed me to vent and complain!!! Thank You.

I am starting to see a glimmer of HOPE!!! Yes, I said HOPE!!! Yes, there are days that I don't want to get out of bed, but I push myself and do it anyway. Yes, there are days that my head is BANGING and I don't know why, but I keep going anyway. Yes, there are days that I feel like getting in my car and just drive to who knows where, but I don't. I just know that if I continue to tell myself and I will get through this. Does anyone understand or know what I mean?

[Guest]

Madimac,

I read a very interesting article in the April 2010 issue of Body + Soul magazine that what gets to us is not the big stressors in life, but the everyday, little things that build up without us even realizing it. They call it superstress and said people don't even realize they have it. Then, BAM, our amgydala gets over sentitized and we get panic and anxiety. They recommed a lot of the same things Lucinda does--diet, exercise, meditation, deep belly breathing.

I haven't gome to any doctors except my endocrinologist to be sure it wasn't my thyroid--I know my symptoms are all sress. Your heartburn is because your stomach overproduces acid when stressed, but your digestion slows down. It is the pits. I have it too.

I know exactly what you mean. I have been through the program almost twice--up to session 14 starting the second time. I have learned a lot more the second time around, but am still not recovered. My brain knows stuff that I haven't been able to put into practice on an every day basis. That is frustrating. As for a "magic pill", forget it. I truly don't think even psychiatrists really understand this. The venerated Wall Street Journal even published an article saying serotonin reuptake inhibitors are only 20% more effective than a placebo for depression and I have read several studies that say exercise is more effective. So I think we are a forgotten group in the medical world-- they would rather work on heart disease or cancer, because anxiety won't kill us, but it sure can make us misreable if we allow it to.

Glad you are seeing hope--I think each of us has to find our own way, so keep faith and keep on keeping on!! Hope this is some help and sorry for rambling on so long.

[Guest]

OMG!!! wouldnt that be wonderful!!! A magic Feel Better RIGHT NOW pill!!!!.....you would think with the massive amount of pills on the market today, someone would invent a pill, without side or adverse affects, a pill that instantly makes you less apprehensive, less depressed, less of all those nastys that we have. A pill that costs nothing, tastes good, doesnt lodge in your throat and slides down that slippery slope of esosphagus without a peep. Amazing...we have landed on Mars and we cant do this for our own suffering human race. Seems so hard trying to feel better doesnt it?
ITs a full time job..... Cant fiqure it out. But....we struggle together and we find solice in each others comfort and miseries, we relate as humans to our faults, mishaps, panics, terrors, grieving moments, and anger....we are ALL RELATED.....we share so much as a people and the little things get in the way....absolutely correct!!!! Throughout my lifes activities now I try to view people as being related to me somewhere down the line, no matter what creed, color, race, religion or ethnic background, I look past that and envision the living, breathing, feeling being that stands near me, we are the same, yet different. Gives you a different perspective on life. creamcheese