Just need encouragement

Keeping the Faith · Post by **Keeping the Faith** » Tue Dec 14, 2010 1:17 am

Hi there! I haven't posted in a while, but need some encouragement!

I found out that I have Adjustment Disorder which now explains why I don't always have anxiety or panic..it just comes and goes in various situations. I guess basically it means I can't handle change!LOL

I was not so bad until I had to go to the ER Sat morning and found out I have diverticulitous....I'm on some NASTY antibiotics that make me feel crappier than the illness itself. Strike one.

On top of that I have to take them for 10 days!

And I am planning on asking my husband for a divorce soon. Nothing "horrible' happened in our marriage; we just should never have gotten married and it's been an awful year and a half. As a result of me stressing over it a lot, I keep getting colds, etc.

I am just DREADING asking him for a divorce. It's like I can see how much BETTER I will feel in the end and you'd think that incentive would ease the blow for me, but it doesn't. And I know he will be clueless that I was planning this (he thinks it's all peachy) and I feel terrible to want to do that now, at Christmas.

Anyway, HELP! I have been having horrible anxiety attacks for a few days now and can't get any respite even from my therapist at this point. I'm fine in her office, but as soon as I leave, I loose it.

Thank you!

SoWhatif · Post by **SoWhatif** » Tue Dec 14, 2010 2:07 am

Keeping the faith is a good thing. I assume the love is not there for you in the relationship.
If the other half is clueless then it sounds as if your carrying this all alone. Is it a divorce or maybe some couple counseling that is the fix?
It is clear that the turmoil and stress is eating you up.
I have learned that change is a constant and we need to embrace it and adapt and it can be a great thing. If were holding on to the past it can drag us into the abiss as the rest of the things around change.
Good luck with your decisions.

Paisleegreen · Post by **Paisleegreen** » Tue Dec 14, 2010 8:44 am

HI Keeping the Faith--I don't always do well with change, and I've gone through a lot in my short life of 56 years old. I feel things very deeply so I can get sad easily, but I also am pretty good at perking up depending on the circumstances.

So have you only been married for 1 1/2 years?

I can see how this would be a most distressing month for you right now. Paislee

sleep chalenged in seattle · Post by **sleep chalenged in seattle** » Tue Dec 14, 2010 12:31 pm

Hang in there, When I was 27. i seperated from my ex husband. we have a child together and i had one befor i met him. but i wanted out. He was faithful to me me. but sometimes thats just not enough. i spent years feelig guilty for the seperation. we were together 6 years.Now im 41, my kids are grown, sometimes i still feel guilt over the way i handled this. i was not very kind.i was insensitive, callous, and i slept around. i hope you can find a way of doing this without feeling the way i did.