I have had to stop talking to my siblings for six months because I got so much anxiety and depression around them. When I tried to tell my oldest sister 6 months ago the reason I didn't spend that much time with her because she was angry she flipped out and started screaming at me on the phone. She told me I was selfish, ungrateful after all I have done for her. Then she went onto say that well you have been in bad moods before and you are just too sensitive. Which I admit I am. Then she told me I didn't care about her children.. It's like she puts so much expectations on me and I am just a sibling. When I went over to her house for Christmas dinner with a friend her and her husband started bringing up my childhood and how I told her husband he had a big nose when I was 8 yrs old. Everyone started laughing I was so embarrassed because my friend was there. Actually humiliated. When I tried to undo a clasp for a necklace I couldn't see to do it and my niece started laughing and she said are u serious u can't do that? It's like all these verbal cutdowns. I am so tired of it. Then they were talking about people they could set me up with for dating right at the dinner table, in front of my friend who is a male. It was so embarrassing. When I told her that she was like it was a joke. Everything is always a joke. To make matters worse my other sibling calls me on a Sunday and says she is coming into town. I told her I was busy that weekend. She was like oh ok well your ridiculous. She is like I can't believe you can't set an hour to see your family. She started attacking me verbally. I hung up the phone because I could not take it. She started texting me saying my family is sick of my noncommital bs. Then she said whoever I was getting life advice from was retarded. When I ever try to put up boundaried with my familiy it becomes a verbal landbash. I can't take it anymore. I can't my controlling siblings. After both these conversations I had enough. I walked away from the anxiety and being depressed all the time. They don't think they have a problem. After I told my sis I was busy that weekend she went on Fb and published well my sister is too busy to see me, guess I won't have anyone at my funeral to morn the loss of my death... She takes it too far. It's like I can't take it anymore. So I decided to separate because it was causing me severe anxiety and depression. My one sibling has texted me and verbally land bashed me in the last 6 months. Saying things you act like your in a cult to don't talk to my children. I am studying to be a nurse. I emotionally can't take this. When I told her nicely to stop texting me she kept going and going. Boundaries do not work with her. To make matters worse both of my siblings have got their children involved and I have received letters from them saying what I have done is like Cain and Abel to my one siblng. I am not welcomed in their homes. My one niece wrote if my mom were to die next week she would not want to see you, and if I were to die nice to know you wouldn't come to my funeral. My other nephew wrote all over my Fb when I posted a Mother Theresa quote
liar
bs
liar
why
and then today wrote me a note saying how can I believe in God when there is a split in the family.It's like omg I can't take the drama. My sister told me she didn't want me talking to her kids so I am not going to respond. I am actually frightened to respond. There is so much anger there. Since then I changed my phone number because I can't take anymore and blocked from Fb. There is nothing to do when I try talking all there is verbal landbashing and i get dumped on.
Since all this has happened my dad passed away who i was estranged with who left when I was young and didn't have much of a relationship with. I didn't go to c him pass away. My mom isn't around either, she passed away when I was 19. I feel like I have no one now..
I have been in depression and anxiety from all of this. I realize I can't solve the situation and don't have the emotional strength to keep going with this banter back and forth. I realize only God can solve the situation.
I just have been suffering so much anxiety and depression from this.. and talking to my siblings brings more depression and anxiety. I hate to say that but this is how I feel .
Help!
Thereze
Sorry you are going thru some really rough times. I had a family like that too and my Dad was the one that was behind most of that nonsense but when my Mom passed I moved away and it helped alot. I haven't lived back in Cali since 1991 and I miss them but it was the best thing I could do for my sanity sake. My brothers had no patience or compassion for my anxiety and depression. "I just needed to quit being a baby and pull myself up by my bootstraps and get on with life". That was a bunch of BS. I am better now and we are all older too and I am the baby in the family so they will always see me as their lil sis even though I am 45 yrs old!! I have had some thereapy sessions about setting boundaries and that helped. And defenetly delete and block them from your Facebook. That's your page and your escape and fun time. Don't take being put down on your own turf. Anyway I will keep you in prayers. Major KUDOS on getting your nursing degree. That is so Awesome. Way to go and what a blessing you will be to so many in need and in pain. Take care and have a good week.
Jill~
Sorry you are going thru some really rough times. I had a family like that too and my Dad was the one that was behind most of that nonsense but when my Mom passed I moved away and it helped alot. I haven't lived back in Cali since 1991 and I miss them but it was the best thing I could do for my sanity sake. My brothers had no patience or compassion for my anxiety and depression. "I just needed to quit being a baby and pull myself up by my bootstraps and get on with life". That was a bunch of BS. I am better now and we are all older too and I am the baby in the family so they will always see me as their lil sis even though I am 45 yrs old!! I have had some thereapy sessions about setting boundaries and that helped. And defenetly delete and block them from your Facebook. That's your page and your escape and fun time. Don't take being put down on your own turf. Anyway I will keep you in prayers. Major KUDOS on getting your nursing degree. That is so Awesome. Way to go and what a blessing you will be to so many in need and in pain. Take care and have a good week.
Jill~
Thereze
You are very welcome and I also appreciate the prayers. Never can have too many prayers, not in my book anyway hehe
I also wanted to suggest that maybe for your Facebook that you make a new account that is just for you and use a fictional name. I have a friend who is a school teacher and she uses a cartoon character name (not a famous one) but one that she can use to get online and post and vent and have fun with without her students knowing she is online . She posts fun little stories and her favorite music and videos and it lets her have the fun without her privacy being invaded. Just a thought. Anyway take care and keep looking up!
Jill~
You are very welcome and I also appreciate the prayers. Never can have too many prayers, not in my book anyway hehe
I also wanted to suggest that maybe for your Facebook that you make a new account that is just for you and use a fictional name. I have a friend who is a school teacher and she uses a cartoon character name (not a famous one) but one that she can use to get online and post and vent and have fun with without her students knowing she is online . She posts fun little stories and her favorite music and videos and it lets her have the fun without her privacy being invaded. Just a thought. Anyway take care and keep looking up!
Jill~
So sorry to hear the troubles you have with your family, they sound like really immature hateful people. They are toxic and they will be of no help to you or you to them. I would write a short letter telling them how you feel, and that you no longer wish to have contact. Let them know that if they continue to harrass you...which is what thy are doing by the way, that you will notify the authorities. It's sad but they obvioulsy don't have a clue and like abusing you. They are abusing you and you shouldn't have to put up with it anymore.