Did you tell your Therapist?

DebDeb · Post by **DebDeb** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 6:22 am

My husband and I go to a therapist to help us with
our relationship problems.
Should I tell him that I started the Program?

Has anyone told their therapist?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:26 am

I told my pychologist. I took the first workbook in to show him and told him about the DVD's, the CD's, the Workbook, the email sessions each week, and this wonderful web-based conversation center. He had heard of Lucinda, and thought her methods were good. He said to keep it up!

However, he keeps telling me that there is something I don't want to think or talk about, and I should be concentrating on what it is. He says this course is another way that I avoid to confront this "thing" that is stopping me from leaving my husband and causing me so much fear.

Honestly, I have no idea what that "thing" is. Why should I not be scared about leaving a 27 year relationship, at the age of 61 years, and having very little money to strike out on my own? I could not live on my income! My husband is loaded, but I would have to wait for legal methods to get anything from him. Scared? Yes I am terrified - I do like to eat and have a roof over my head.

How am I supposed to find out what this "thing" is?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:47 am

I don't mean to make light of your situation but it sounds like you might need a lawyer more than a therapist. Just a thought

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:08 am

Actually that may not be such a bad idea. If you were to get all the information you could get regarding the legal aspect of a divorce it may put your mind at ease about the possibility of striking out on your own. It just might be possible to receive monetary compensation before a divorce is even settled. You never know. Then again I don't really know if you have already looked into this in detail. I can see why you are upset and it seems very normal to me to be scared in this situation. Going out on your own after 27 years of marriage would cause anyone anxiety!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:34 am

I think you just answered your own question about what "the thing" is.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:42 am

Thanks for your comments - I appreciate them very much. I have consulted a lawyer and she advised I have 6 months of living expenses at my disposal before leaving. However, there may be other options, and so I have made another appointment to discuss this further with her. I have also made an appointment with the bank to see if they can help me at all.

I guess I was a little hurt when my DR. intimated that I had some "secret" reason bottled up inside. As we all know, we like to please everyone, including our doctors!

I believe that this is so very upsetting because it is my second marriage, and my first marriage ended because I left it. My first husband stalked me, threatened me, took my children from the school and wouldn't give them back. It was a nightmare. Maybe I am scared because of my past experiences more than money, or my second husband.

What do you think?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:45 am

Hi Jaybee.

A therapist once told me that I may be lightheaded and have anxiety for the rest of my life because I couldn't pin point some "thing" that was holding me back from my childhood. I stopped seeing him. A couple of years later, I found the program. Now I'm feeling great and I didn't even have to find that "thing".

DeeDee.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:51 am

Thank you for that thought DeeDee! I guess I take these "comments" from my Dr. too seriously. Whatever the "thing" is, I guess if it is important, it will come out by itself.

Thx, JayBee

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:19 am

My therapist "reminded" me that Lucinda does not have any qualifications for providing therapy. He kind of shook his head when I told him I had ordered the program.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:36 am

CBT is a pretty well known and accepted therapy now days. I've had it before done by a qualified trained therapist and I see no difference at all between the so called "qualified" therapist and this program. This is way more structured and keeps me more motivated to continue than going to a therapist once a month. Not that I would suggest for anyone to stop seeing their therapist though.