Can I panic NOW???

Rhasslariel · Post by **Rhasslariel** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:56 am

Okay. I'm trying to remain calm. I had a biopsy of a spot my routine mammogram found in my right breast last week and it came back positive. I have breast cancer. My doctor said its been caught very early and is treatable. This should make me feel better but it isn't. Just the fact that its there at all is getting to me. She also told me that even though the surgeon will recommend an MRI to see if anything was missed, that they just got a new state of the art MRI machine at her office and because its new and considered to still be in testing, the cost of the procedure can be written off so it won't cost me a thing. This is good as the biopsy and accompanying x-rays and lab work has already cost me just over $3100. That was all my savings, and a CD I cashed in (I guess I won't be able to fix my leaking roof now). But still, I'll have to pay for the surgery, and hospital, and radiation etc. The surgeon says they take payments. I'll be paying this the rest of my life, assuming I have the rest of my life. I have my husband to care for and a lot of animals. What will happen when I'm in the hospital? He doesn't know how to take care of the animals. He's only ever taken care of himself, never anyone else. I know many women who have gone through early detected breast cancer and have come though just fine. But, they also had money, and family to help. This is a nightmare come true. How the hell do I not have anxiety? I guess being in this program is keeping me from a panic attack. But still....

getting thru this · Post by **getting thru this** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 12:13 pm

rhass i know exactly how you feel i was told i have coronary artery disease but the blockage is in branch and too small to get to (nothing to worry about is what they say) then my blood test came back was told it was way outta whack okay dont panic (me never) right .i wonder what these doc think dont worry knowing we have prob but i try to realize we do not have that control it is hereditary (right)we are dealt cards in life and deal with them as they come but it has been a hard road i know the money prob also it is hard all i can say is breathe ...trust ...faith that is all we can o ...and the technology today is so more advanced nowadays they can do almost anything i wish the best for you and keep me posted

getting thru this · Post by **getting thru this** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 12:14 pm

also your husband will be alright i am sure he will learn from this experience and it might surprise you how much he cn do

Mary Wargo · Post by **Mary Wargo** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 1:14 pm

I'm sorry to read what you're going thru right now. A friend of mine went thru the same thing a few years ago and it was difficult but she is now doing fine. Have you looked into your State's Medi Cal(or whatever the name of it is in your state) to see if you qualify since you don't have insurance?

nobledancer · Post by **nobledancer** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 1:39 pm

This is really tough. I am so sorry.
Have you thought of checking with the American Cancer Society? I understand that they have programs to help those without insurance, especially women dealing with breast cancer.

bevhembree · Post by **bevhembree** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 6:15 pm

I'm not sure where you are from but Deanna Favre has a Hope Foundation assissting women with breast cancer. I don't know much about it, but have heard of it.
Also, you can sometimes try to negotiate a lessor price with your docs and hospitals.
Do you know of a teenage or college student who might be able to be hired to help with the animals. I know that can be expensive too. I might try a local girl or boy scout council to see if there are troops willings to "adopt" your animals during your illness. Those groups usually love to help out and get service hours that way. You may know of other organizations in your area also. Good luck to you.

Rhasslariel · Post by **Rhasslariel** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:19 am

I wouldn't trust anyone else taking my animals. I'd be more worried about them being with someone else. And they wouldn't trust anyone. My dog is shy around strangers. And he's a Great Dane. So most people would be afraid of him. I don't know of any local financial aid. We have Medicaid here, but I actually make too much to qualify for that, even though I don't make enough to cover this. And with that, they require you to use up everything you have before they consider you. They are a last resort, you have to have no assets left before they will help. (This doesn't apply to illegal immigrants and such, they have a plan that helps them right away. This is such a great country....NOT).
This just goes along with my thoughts from an earlier post when I first started this program. That I'm not meant to be happy. When every little thing bothered me, I would be happy for a while, then something would come along to ruin it. Now, when I'm finally getting through the anxiety and depression and anger, and my life over all is looking better, this comes along. It had to be something big. My whole perspective on life was being changed, so something really bad was bound to occur to let me know that I'm not supposed to have a good life. My life is supposed to be bad. And I don't believe in a one god like most of you, so don't bother preaching. I doesn't mean anything to me. I do believe there are fates and powers beyond what we know. And this just proves they're against me.

LisaWoo · Post by **LisaWoo** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:49 am

I am so sorry to hear of everything you're going through. I will definately pray for you.

About the bills:
Last year we incurred pretty extensive medical bills ourselves. There was a department at the hospital that takes care of patients with financial need. We had to turn in all of our paychecks stubs, utility bills, etc... But we were able to have almost all of the expenses written off. We too do not qualify for medical assistance, but this was something through the hospital itself that they do. We went from $30,000 of bills to a few hundred. BIG DIFFERENCE.

See if your hospital offers anything like that. Also, see if there are any non-profits in your area that may be able to help. Some sort of community outreach program. I don't know, but it's worth a shot.

Good luck.

HeatherRDJ · Post by **HeatherRDJ** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 2:47 am

Wow, sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I'm sure there is some kind of cancer fund that would help you in your area. Contact a support group and they should have tons of information. My mom got money for the mileage from her house to the hospital, extremely discounted hotel nights, etc. There is alot of help out there, you just have to look and ask.
It does sound like the silver lining in this is your husband has to step up and help out. You do not need the added stress of worrying about the animals. Though do you have any friends that have been around them that could help you on days when your husband is at the hospital with you?

Sandina · Post by **Sandina** » Tue Jul 15, 2008 3:50 am

Rhasslariel, you ARE meant to be happy! Do not let your negative thoughts determine your level of happiness, or lack of it. You can choose how you respond to this situation.

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer almost 15 years ago. She is fine now. I can tell you that when she was diagnosed I went through a lot of anger about it. I even told God that if he took my mother from me, I would hate Him forever. The great thing about God is that he knows and understands your feelings and he has your whole life in His hands. I never felt this way at the time, but in time I have learned it.

I'm going to suggest a great book for you. It's called "Streams in the Desert" and it is a daily devotional book. I don't know if you're a Christian or not, but even if you're not there is a lot of positive affirmation in this book and good advice for people like you and me. You can order it on Amazon fairly cheap, and you will cherish it. <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/Streams-Desert-L- ... 406&sr=8-1" TARGET=_blank>http://www.amazon.com/Streams-Desert-L- ... &sr=8-1</A>

Sandina