Staying at home alone
YES!!!! I am. I need help with this too! I have been trying to stay a little longer each day. My daughter goes off to school and my husband goes to work and he begs me to just try to stay at home and get some rest. But I can't! Each day I'm going to stay a little longer until I feel comfortable again. I'll start off with an hour on Monday and then an hour and thirty minutes on Tuesday etc. Just try to keep your mind busy with positives things like chores or reading a good book, trying new recipes to cook so there won't be any room for your mind to let any negative thoughts in. I need help with this just as much as you do.
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Missletoes
- Posts: 12
- Joined: Tue Dec 18, 2007 11:17 am
Hi Valle. I am scared to stay alone too. I stayed with friends for 2 weeks and then I have been staying with my parents for about 4 weeks. I have finally decided to go back home and stay alone this weekend. I need to stay busy. If I don't my thoughts go off on tangents of wild and obsessive thinking. Plus, I have a hard time making myself eat when I am by myself...especially if I feel bad. But it is time I face this fear and do it anyway. I have funny tv shows to watch and computer games to play plus I have friends that I can hang out with if I really need to be around people. You just need to have a plan and keep yourself busy so that your thoughts don't make you panic. I don't know what else to tell you. I say to myself, "It is only anxiety and it will go away." I am hanging on as best I can. You do the same. Continue working the program. That really helps. I will pray for you Valle, and you pray for me. Are you single, divorced, widowed? Is that why you are alone? Also, I have started to live by my faith. We are never alone if we love and believe in God. He is always with us. Take care and let me know how you are doing.
Good bless you.
Missletoes
Good bless you.
Missletoes
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Mello Nello
- Posts: 299
- Joined: Thu Feb 17, 2005 2:00 am
valle,
i used to be afraid of staying alone.. But, my husband worked out of town alot,, so even with panic and anxiety,, i knew i had to learn to deal with it somehow... So i filled my daytime with all kinds of chores, from cleaning to ironing, trying to wear myself out , for when nighttime came.... Actually it helped alot.. Also, i began reading at night,,,and then after i got the program i would read, do my relaxation tape, and fall off to sleep...
Now, i dont have that problem any longer after going through the program realizing,, i was never alone,, and that i make a pretty good friend to myself:) Try something for you,, when your alone, do things your enjoy, keep your mind distracted with music, books, or hobbies..... Take care Nelly:)
i used to be afraid of staying alone.. But, my husband worked out of town alot,, so even with panic and anxiety,, i knew i had to learn to deal with it somehow... So i filled my daytime with all kinds of chores, from cleaning to ironing, trying to wear myself out , for when nighttime came.... Actually it helped alot.. Also, i began reading at night,,,and then after i got the program i would read, do my relaxation tape, and fall off to sleep...
Now, i dont have that problem any longer after going through the program realizing,, i was never alone,, and that i make a pretty good friend to myself:) Try something for you,, when your alone, do things your enjoy, keep your mind distracted with music, books, or hobbies..... Take care Nelly:)
I'm afraid of staying at home alone too. I have a dog now, and maybe that will help, but I would like to be a part of the staying home alone group on Monday too:) at least for a little bit. I have a son with autism, and when he was diagnosed with that, I was an at home mom, and I just felt responsible for a situation that was so out of my control. I just felt like a failure more than my husband did because I was the one raising my son, and he could go to work. It wasn't rational, but I didn't feel like I could do it on my own. I freaked. I felt trapped or something, and that was one of my main symptoms of trauma after his diagnosis. It's not good for an at home mom not to be able to stay home by herself:). I've went on to try having a career and going to school,etc., but really, I am happy being an at home mom, but I just don't like how lonely it gets. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one either, and this will be a definite mile stone for me in healing if I'm able to overcome this. Also, driving by myself would be great too. Anyway, Valle, doesn't look like you're alone or me for that matter:).
God Bless You All,
luvpiggy
God Bless You All,
luvpiggy
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so-unordinary
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Thu Feb 14, 2008 9:57 pm
Yes the caffine and the sugar for sure. Drinking alot more water has helped also and excersising. Changing those thoughts that make me feel disempowered. I know they are all lies now. Hey guys face your fears head on, that is the only way you can win in life. The thing you fear the most is exactly the thing you need to do next. You take control of your attitude, that has helped me sooooo much!!!!
Valle-
Yes staying away from sugar and caffiene does help. Drinking lots of water has helped me too. Driving and staying at home alone are my two biggest obstacles. If I can overcome this I can do anything!! LOL!!
I have let this fear dominate me for too long and I have realized it's not going to simply go away by itself. I have to make a move. Do you remember the first day of school? You step out of a familiar environment into the mystery of the unknown. Those who you have loved and relied on, take you to the door of something big, something pretty scary, and they leave you. You tell yourself you are not going to cry. Yet, at the critical moment, the moment you are forced to stand on your own, the breakdown comes. No one seems to be listening to you, they tell you that everything is going to be okay. You may even lose your dignity begging and screaming. Each new day and every new experience is just like the first day of school. If WE (LOL) can stop crying long enough to hear the promise, someone will take your hand and lead you to the classroom of life. By the end of the day, we may feel a little embarassed about the way we behaved as we realize there really wasn't anything to be afraid of because we are never alone.
"Fear not, for I am with you." Isaiah 41:10
Yes staying away from sugar and caffiene does help. Drinking lots of water has helped me too. Driving and staying at home alone are my two biggest obstacles. If I can overcome this I can do anything!! LOL!!
I have let this fear dominate me for too long and I have realized it's not going to simply go away by itself. I have to make a move. Do you remember the first day of school? You step out of a familiar environment into the mystery of the unknown. Those who you have loved and relied on, take you to the door of something big, something pretty scary, and they leave you. You tell yourself you are not going to cry. Yet, at the critical moment, the moment you are forced to stand on your own, the breakdown comes. No one seems to be listening to you, they tell you that everything is going to be okay. You may even lose your dignity begging and screaming. Each new day and every new experience is just like the first day of school. If WE (LOL) can stop crying long enough to hear the promise, someone will take your hand and lead you to the classroom of life. By the end of the day, we may feel a little embarassed about the way we behaved as we realize there really wasn't anything to be afraid of because we are never alone."Fear not, for I am with you." Isaiah 41:10
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not missing out
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Sun Apr 03, 2005 3:00 am
Yeah, I do this too.
Well, I have observed myself during the week when I am by myself with the kids and when my husband's home on the weekends or we're going somewhere on Saturday. During the week I feel so bogged down, tired, kinda dizzy headed, etc. but when I'm not alone I don't have all that. When I wake up and know my husband will be there all day, I just get up and go.
So, that makes me tell myself that there probably is no real physical reason for me to feel so bad during the week. I feel those feelings and think, "egad what's wrong with me?" But if those feelings only come when I'm alone they must be situational. Why else would I feel so good on the weekends?
So, I have been trying to make myself be more active in the house. I hold back when I feel funny from doing things that need to be done! Just waiting to be more active for when I won't be alone.
When I wake up I have been trying to start the day with telling myself it will be a good day and I'll feel good. And listing out things to be happy about.
Also, I've been riding my bike as it's getting a little warmer. The next morning I can really tell a difference in energy level.
Talking on the phone with people helps. Once I was feeling all woozy headed, thinking, "well I just need to sit here a little bit." Then my mom called and by the time we hung up, that feeling was gone! So, obviously I was dwelling on it too much.
I think tv sometimes makes it worse. I just like noise around, but I think maybe the tv ends up bringing me down. Unless it's a Star Trek marathon, then you bet I'm having that on.
I would be curious to see what everyone else says. Plus, I would be curious if other people feel more icky when they are alone. And not with other people.
We watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and I thought to myself, "what do you think you're like those people that stay in bed all day or something???" hahaha And then when his Grandpa Joe got the good news, he just jumped out of bed and danced around. How am I like that, sitting around feeling bad when I don't have to?
Well, I have observed myself during the week when I am by myself with the kids and when my husband's home on the weekends or we're going somewhere on Saturday. During the week I feel so bogged down, tired, kinda dizzy headed, etc. but when I'm not alone I don't have all that. When I wake up and know my husband will be there all day, I just get up and go.
So, that makes me tell myself that there probably is no real physical reason for me to feel so bad during the week. I feel those feelings and think, "egad what's wrong with me?" But if those feelings only come when I'm alone they must be situational. Why else would I feel so good on the weekends?
So, I have been trying to make myself be more active in the house. I hold back when I feel funny from doing things that need to be done! Just waiting to be more active for when I won't be alone.
When I wake up I have been trying to start the day with telling myself it will be a good day and I'll feel good. And listing out things to be happy about.
Also, I've been riding my bike as it's getting a little warmer. The next morning I can really tell a difference in energy level.
Talking on the phone with people helps. Once I was feeling all woozy headed, thinking, "well I just need to sit here a little bit." Then my mom called and by the time we hung up, that feeling was gone! So, obviously I was dwelling on it too much.
I think tv sometimes makes it worse. I just like noise around, but I think maybe the tv ends up bringing me down. Unless it's a Star Trek marathon, then you bet I'm having that on.
I would be curious to see what everyone else says. Plus, I would be curious if other people feel more icky when they are alone. And not with other people.
We watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and I thought to myself, "what do you think you're like those people that stay in bed all day or something???" hahaha And then when his Grandpa Joe got the good news, he just jumped out of bed and danced around. How am I like that, sitting around feeling bad when I don't have to?