Trying to count a victory

Faith_TX · Post by **Faith_TX** » Sun Aug 10, 2008 3:37 am

I'm reading Freedom from Fear and one thing he focuses on (along with this program) is having victories over things that previously made you anxious.

Earlier this summer, I noticed that I avoid getting too hot because it sometimes triggers panic attacks.

I decided to get overheated on purpose and "handle" my feelings so that I wouldn't be so scared of it any more. I did some yard work here in Texas in the middle of the day. I did fine. Then, whenever hubby wanted to go to the pool and such I had a better time, not worried about it. However water has never been my 'favorite' thing anyway.

A couple weeks ago at the pool I got too hot and I was too tired to get back in the pool and ended up with a PA.

So, last week when offered to go to the pool I wasn't really in the mood. But, it's always hard for me on some things to know if I'm just not "in the mood" or if I'm "avoiding."

Yesterday I went to a birthday party for my son at a skating place. It was anxiety producing to begin with because I didn't know ANYONE there. To top it off the A/C was broken and it was SOO HOT in there. It was around 100 here yesterday. I tried to make the best of it but I started feeling anxiety because I was around a bunch of strangers and it was a 4 hour party and I was HOT. Finally at hour 3 I started asking my son if he'd want to go home. A couple other kids mothers came and got them at that time anyway. He said he wanted to stay but then his feet were hurting so I asked if he wanted to leave and he did. I felt like it was sort of a loss that I didn't stay the whole 4 hours.

So, it did NOT feel like a victory.

But later on when my hubby asked to go to the pool I didn't refuse and actually had a nice time.

However today I'm thinking. . . I hope he doesn't want to go to the pool, I'm not in the mood to do that today.

I've been told by a couple people that I'm 'so close' to being cured, but these little incidents make me feel discouraged at times. I know that the only way to gain confidence is to go through anxiety and work through it, but I feel like some of my triggers I work through, then they become a problem again.

The good thing is I do this without medication, and I'm not having PA's every day, and I'm not letting myself avoid things. But, it's still not good enough for me.

I think I'm probably just not working hard enough at it as far as journaling, doing relaxation every day, and reminding myself to correct my thinking "every time."

Any feedback on that?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 10, 2008 4:21 am

Wow Faith I live in TX too, getting out in the middle of the day to do yard work! That's Hot! LoL Sounds like to me you are doing GREAT!!! If you don't like going to the pool for reasons other than Panic/anxiety then don't expect yourself to go every time, and you should be giving yourself high fives for going to the party at all and then you stayed in the heat for 3 hrs

. You had more that one trigger, people you didn't know, the heat and you stayed 3 hrs sounds like a victory to me. I think you are being to hard on yourself. So I say 3 hoorays for Faith!!! So hold your head high and find all the wonders and blessings tomorrow will bring. Keep up the good work.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 10, 2008 5:57 am

I am really hard on myself. About a year ago I got on this "kick" where I thought that I wouldn't be "cured" unless I could make myself drink coffee and not have a PA. Well caffeine clearly causes anxiety symptoms and isn't recommended so I finally stopped torturing myself with that one. However I would love to get so that I'm not afraid of medications. Not sure how I'll get that one stricken off my list. . . I think I'll cross that bridge when I NEED to take something.

I guess right now part of my thinking is when I can consider myself "good enough" you know?

I did all sorts of activities this week with the kids and had fun. I'm a little worn out now though from all the running around.

So I think I deserve to stay in and have a nap and just be lazy.

I did that on Friday too actually. . .but oh well.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 10, 2008 6:24 am

I was thinking of staying in and being lazy today myself. and yea I did it a couple of days ago too. LOL.

You have to start telling youself you are Good Enough. I know what you mean but, just think about it we told ourselves things so long that we made ourselves panic, just think if we did it in reverse. Pretty soon we would think we were great. So no don't tell yourself you are good enough tell yourself that you are great and you can overcome anything that crosses your path.

~*schnauzermom*~ · Post by **~*schnauzermom*~** » Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:24 am

gosh faith you are doing great learn to praise yourself and also reward yourself.we put so much into our feelings and our thoughts create feelings.my biggest problem is being on isalated roads I am area bound and as long as I stay in my safe area I can be free of panic but let me going into one of those areas and bam instantly anxiety.I am still not wanting to feel the fear still afraid I am starting to try today I intend to try a secondary road I hate interstates these you have to be on it for at least 14 miles that is a big one for me I am going crazy by 4 miles I need to work more on being able to bring my anxiety down with thought changing and slow beathing like lucinda says.haven't tried it enough but this is one thing I must do or I will have to crawl back in to my hole like I have for so many years it is now are never which will it be

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 10, 2008 10:02 am

Thanks. . . yes I do have to remember how far I've come and stop being hard on myself! For me whenever I go for a bit without anxiety, then I have a bad morning or day or whatever, I tend to beat myself up about it thinking I'll never get over this.

Well, I guess I need to accept that I'll always have some anxiety. . .I'm human! And I'm allowed to have a bad day once in awhile. I just have to not let it rule me, that's all.

I don't ever want to feel like I felt 6 months ago; that was awful. I've come SO far since then. I just have a goal of being perfectly calm and relaxed and I have a feeling that with my peronality that's a bit extreme. LOL

I was at a friend's house the other day and she was watching a grandbaby. He's about 18 months old. We walked along the edge of the pool and then upstairs and in both situations I was tense worried he'd fall in or tumble down the stairs and she seemed just so calm about it. . .holding the other grandbaby. Then I was thinking why am I such a nervous nelly? LOL

Oh well God made us all different. She's a wonderful person but she has her challenges too, just not panic and anxiety.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Aug 10, 2008 1:35 pm

People that don't have anxiety don't necessarily want to do everything that anyone asks them to do. It is good to figure out what we are avoiding because we are anxious, but sometimes we may not want to do something because we just don't want to. Nothing wrong with that.