anxiety around spouce
-
Guest
I hear you. I am in a long term relationship and I have 2 children from a previous marriage. He accepts my kids as his own and we have been together for 3 years now. I do not know much about your spouse and he may not even be the issue really. My question to you is, do you wish that he were differnent in some ways that are very important to you? Are you waiting for him to change? If so I have found that it causes anxiety because living in the "what could be" and not living in the "now" is a sure way to get some anxiety in your life. The same goes for living in the past. These are revelations I have just come across my self. check out some books by Echart. Oprah endorces him. cya
Hi Shelly, Do you think that maybe when he's around you, you feel like you have to act "in control"? You may feel you have to "stuff" your anxiety during these times. Perhaps when he comes home you fill your mind with thoughts like you have to appear happy and content, so when he first comes in is the hardest time because you're stressing yourself with trying so hard. Then when he leaves you are scared at first because you're alone again, but once you get used to the situation you're okay again.
Please try to go within yourself and think about all of this. It really is not HIM causing your feelings of anxiety. It is YOU. That's hard to hear and deal with, but it's very true. I don't know how far along you are with the program, but you have to try really hard to be your own safe person. Expecting him to carry you through this is unrealistic. Hopefully, he is supportive, but no one can take this disorder away from you. You have to make the changes and do it for yourself.
If I had to guess, I would say you do really love him and you want to be with him, but you are expecting his presence in your life to make you better.
I think God is trying to tell you to keep working on yourself and believe in yourself. You can overcome these feelings by thinking positively and moving forward. Once you learn how to float with your anxiety and see the goodness in life, your relationship with your fiance and everyone else in your life will be so much healthier and happier. You will feel confident again and you will know how to make yourself happy and not look to him to give that to you. He will add to your life in a great way, but he can't make your life what you want it to be. No one can do that. They will always fall short because this is ultimately up to you.
I don't know if I've hit upon your issues correctly, but I hope this can help you to find your happiness again and come out on top all by yourself. Then you will really feel your love for your fiance in a healthy way and together you guys can live a life filled with peace and enjoy your days filled with excitement and joy.
You both deserve this.
Please try to go within yourself and think about all of this. It really is not HIM causing your feelings of anxiety. It is YOU. That's hard to hear and deal with, but it's very true. I don't know how far along you are with the program, but you have to try really hard to be your own safe person. Expecting him to carry you through this is unrealistic. Hopefully, he is supportive, but no one can take this disorder away from you. You have to make the changes and do it for yourself.
If I had to guess, I would say you do really love him and you want to be with him, but you are expecting his presence in your life to make you better.
I think God is trying to tell you to keep working on yourself and believe in yourself. You can overcome these feelings by thinking positively and moving forward. Once you learn how to float with your anxiety and see the goodness in life, your relationship with your fiance and everyone else in your life will be so much healthier and happier. You will feel confident again and you will know how to make yourself happy and not look to him to give that to you. He will add to your life in a great way, but he can't make your life what you want it to be. No one can do that. They will always fall short because this is ultimately up to you.
I don't know if I've hit upon your issues correctly, but I hope this can help you to find your happiness again and come out on top all by yourself. Then you will really feel your love for your fiance in a healthy way and together you guys can live a life filled with peace and enjoy your days filled with excitement and joy.
You both deserve this.
ATTITUDE -- The mind is like a parachute...it doesn't work unless it's open!!