I have been taking Xanax and it's helping a lot. Just 1/2 dose at night. I haven't had any PA's in about 3-4 days.
Then this morning I had one. And I was feeling all indignant, like 'I thought I was over this."
Anyone else get like that? I was having them 3-4 times a day and now I have one after being free for 3-4 days, and I get an attitude towards myself.
Not a good thing, I know!
I'm feeling a little better now, but it reminds me that I need to be more thankful when I'm feeling well!!
Getting "spoiled" easily?
Chris - BIG HUGS! I haven't been sleeping since my anxiety flared up last week, so I've been taking 1/2 dose of Xanax at night too - but I've really struggled with how guilty I feel taking it!! Just what we all need - more guilt! I also have dealt with the I THOUGHT I WAS OVER THIS! feeling.
Try to remember that this is temporary - that's what I keep telling myself. Thanks for sharing..
Try to remember that this is temporary - that's what I keep telling myself. Thanks for sharing..
All for His praise, glory and the joy it gives Him.
Hugs, In His Love >:D<
Gman9259
"He who dwells in the secret place of the most
high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty"
Hugs, In His Love >:D<
Gman9259
"He who dwells in the secret place of the most
high shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty"
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Guest
exactly and then I had the thought. . .oh no everyone is right, now I'm already going to need to take more for the same effect. Ah pooey!! Not true. 
I had a very sugary muffin this morning and it made me feel horrible so I just have to wait for the effects of it to wear off. It was so yucky I've been in and out of the bathroom for the past hour. Not healthy.
I had a very sugary muffin this morning and it made me feel horrible so I just have to wait for the effects of it to wear off. It was so yucky I've been in and out of the bathroom for the past hour. Not healthy.
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Guest
Hi Chris,
Definitely normal. I think what happens is that we really feel we are not in control of all of this, so when we feel good, we feel like we're being spoiled or some miracle has happened, and in the back of our minds, we are slightly worried about when that feel good feeling is going to wear off. The thing is, as hard as it seems to accept it, we are always in control of how we feel and we bring on our panic. My guess is you were so excited about going 3-4 days without a panic attack, that the anticipation of when one would occur, would one occur again, when? all of those questions, got you anxious without you even realizing it! Quite possibly the sugary muffin contributed to the panic, but most likely you brought that on by all the excitement of not having one for a couple days. My best advice is to say to yourself, "I feel what I feel and I control that" you will start to eventually believe that you are in control of how you feel and despite the fact that maybe you don't feel so great one day, you can feel good the next. Anxiety recovery is packed full of ups and downs that are beyond our control, your body is attempting to patch up some very serious mental wounds, and what I mean by that is, this way of thinking is such a habit for you and your brain automatically does it now, so when you try to change that, your body has some serious patch and fix work to do. And as we all know, patch and fix work can be quite the process. Roll with the punches, Chris! You had a panic attack and it didn't kill you, they never do, but focus on the good! You went 3 days without one! Wow... pat yourself on that back for THAT. That's a seriously great accomplishment. And remember, this seems silly, but try hard not to get too worked up or excited about a good day. We tend to have that black and white thinking. "Oh I feel good, panic attacks are so in the past, never again!" It's just like any rule of thumb, you never say never. When I have a good day, I just try to appreciate it and I keep in mind that it's not going to last forever, but SOMEDAY I will feel better for a much longer period of time. As Fiona Apple says, "Can't take a good day without a bad one." Very true with an anxiety disorder, but only for a short period of time...
Just remember, try to keep your thoughts balances and look at that grey area in the middle, instead of being so extreme one way or the other. And as weird as this seems, always keep in mind that while you are going through the recovery process, you are going to experience bad days. It doesn't just flip off like a light switch.
Definitely normal. I think what happens is that we really feel we are not in control of all of this, so when we feel good, we feel like we're being spoiled or some miracle has happened, and in the back of our minds, we are slightly worried about when that feel good feeling is going to wear off. The thing is, as hard as it seems to accept it, we are always in control of how we feel and we bring on our panic. My guess is you were so excited about going 3-4 days without a panic attack, that the anticipation of when one would occur, would one occur again, when? all of those questions, got you anxious without you even realizing it! Quite possibly the sugary muffin contributed to the panic, but most likely you brought that on by all the excitement of not having one for a couple days. My best advice is to say to yourself, "I feel what I feel and I control that" you will start to eventually believe that you are in control of how you feel and despite the fact that maybe you don't feel so great one day, you can feel good the next. Anxiety recovery is packed full of ups and downs that are beyond our control, your body is attempting to patch up some very serious mental wounds, and what I mean by that is, this way of thinking is such a habit for you and your brain automatically does it now, so when you try to change that, your body has some serious patch and fix work to do. And as we all know, patch and fix work can be quite the process.
Roll with the punches, Chris! You had a panic attack and it didn't kill you, they never do, but focus on the good! You went 3 days without one! Wow... pat yourself on that back for THAT. That's a seriously great accomplishment. And remember, this seems silly, but try hard not to get too worked up or excited about a good day. We tend to have that black and white thinking. "Oh I feel good, panic attacks are so in the past, never again!" It's just like any rule of thumb, you never say never. When I have a good day, I just try to appreciate it and I keep in mind that it's not going to last forever, but SOMEDAY I will feel better for a much longer period of time. As Fiona Apple says, "Can't take a good day without a bad one." Very true with an anxiety disorder, but only for a short period of time... Just remember, try to keep your thoughts balances and look at that grey area in the middle, instead of being so extreme one way or the other. And as weird as this seems, always keep in mind that while you are going through the recovery process, you are going to experience bad days. It doesn't just flip off like a light switch.
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Guest
Thanks. That makes sense! And the real victory for me will be once I feel well long enough and can stop taking the Xanax. I know this isn't fair to myself, but I tend to look at that as I'm cheating. But I'm only cheating a little bit LOL. 1/2 of a Xanax certainly was out of my system by the time I got to work (I took it before bed) so I'm giong to take credit for working my way out of this PA.
And every time I have a PA and let myself relax it away, it makes me feel much stronger and less worried about the next one.
If a PA only 'ruins' one hour of my day instead of hanging around for 2-3 days, what's the big deal!?
And every time I have a PA and let myself relax it away, it makes me feel much stronger and less worried about the next one.
If a PA only 'ruins' one hour of my day instead of hanging around for 2-3 days, what's the big deal!?
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Guest
Great job Chris, sounds as though you are healing. I too suffer from anxiety and some panic attacks as well. I just hope by the end of this program I will feel good for more than 3-4 days, because its real scary to think this could last a lifetime. But congrats to you for going 3-4 days, that is so awesome.. I too feel that guilt you feel for taking 1/2 of a klonopin as needed, I truly feel guilty about it.. Well you hang in there & I hope your having a good day.
Gina
Gina