On Nov 2nd, I began to not feel so well. The following weekend, I was hospitalized with H1N1. It's now Nov 17th and I'm finally getting over it. When I became sick, I realized how many people cared for me. On one hand, I was very grateful. On the other, I am angry with myself. I realize that I've completely wasted my life. I am so caught up on me me me that I forgot about everyone else. I was outside the other day to get some air. My lawn needed raking, so I took my time and started. About 5 minutes later, I heard people walking up behind me. Neighbours that I haven't spoken to in a long time asked if I needed help. I was speechless. I told them that they may want to back up a bit because of the H1N1. They stepped back and became concerned. I told them I was ok and that I'm taking my time. We talked for a while. Later on, I went to sit down on my front porch to catch my breath and I heard my name yelled from 2 doors down. They didn't see me and they thought I passed out because I guess I looked a little flush earlier. After that, more neighbours came out. (News travels fast I guess).
Anyway, the point of this is that I know I've wasted my life and treated people kind of bad by making it all about me me me. I've left positive messages on the board in the past. I meant all of them. I just feel that I don't take my own messages to heart. I hope this is a first step in really healing.
Feeling ungrateful
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