On one of the tapes and/or sessions it says "at first you don't believe it..." referring to positive replacements. I'm curious how long the "at first..." is supposed to be. I still struggle with believing what I replace with.
Any suggestions?
Here are some of my negatives:
"I hate that I'm like this and have to replace at all."
"I want to be normal and not be scared of my thoughts and feelings."
"It's not working."
"It's too hard and will never rid me of this junk."
Pretty ugly about myself at times it seems. I'm beating myself up for this not working as quickly as I'd like. I feel sometimes like I've hit a wall and just can't feed myself what I know I should at that moment. I always get around the wall, but beat myself up for getting stuck there in the first place.
I know some of you are great at replacements. Send them my way if you can!
you know how the program said...
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Guest
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Guest
Great replacement thoughts DebDeb.
KDLady,
I could now write you a list pages and pages long of positive replacement thoughts.
Know why?
Because I had to learn how to do this for myself to get rid of the constant, intense panic attacks, the negative thinking habits, the ongoing anxiety, the bouts of depression and the complete debilitating fear of driving that I USED to experience on a daily basis.
It's awesome; the support and encouragement we all can get from this website, but the bottom line is -
we have to WANT to help ourselves and work at it with our whole hearts and minds to get the results we need to get.
Is it hard at times? Yep, it is. But fun too when we start seeing the positive results along the way. Step by step, moment by moment .
Are we fed up with our negative thoughts and feelings? Of course we are.
Do we all want to live a healthier, more comfortable, more content life? Yes!!!
Are we really wanting to change and get rid of those dependent, negative habits?
Are we more comfy just staying the way we are and therefore justifying our misery with our negative thoughts like "It's not gonna work"?
THIS time going through the program,
Go easy on yourself!!!!!
Really.
Congratulate yourself for every little step you complete!!!
Congratulate yourself for ordering this program in the first place. That was a big step!
Work at it step by step and don't skip anything because you think you might not need ALL the sessions. Believe me, every session is there in a specific order and needs to be completed to get the most out of the program. If you think one doesn't apply to you, I'll bet it applies to someone else in your life and you can learn from it, and benefit from it.
Practice the steps from session #3 as often as possible throughout the whole program.
Get the book What to Say When You Talk To Yourself by Shad Helmstetter to help yourself with replacing those negative thoughts. It's recommended in the workbook and is an awesome little, inexpensive book. Order it online from this website. Just takes a couple of days to get it. TONS of examples of positive, replacement thoughts in this little book.
When you find yourself coming up with those negative, self-defeating thoughts like "It's not working" HOLD UP THAT STOP SIGN AND say something like "Oh yeah, I'll make this work and nothing is going to stop me!"
If you can't think of a positive replacement right away --
THAT'S OK!!! Just tell yourself to "knock it off" and put up the stop sign and get busy doing something productive. Anything.
You may not completely "get good at" session #3 until you completely finish the program. The whole concept of positive, replacement thinking makes more sense and becomes easier as we go along. It takes time. So what? The healing starts and continues, it really does, as we're learning.
Start relying more on yourself to come up with the positives. They're right there and not one of them has to be perfect!!!!
Know this - You WILL get great at the skills taught in this program. Tell yourself that every day.
Yep, at first you may not believe it. BUT
Your mind WILL accept what you repeatedly tell it, if you say it often enough and strongly enough.(from the book mentioned above)
That goes for those awesome, positive, empowering thoughts. THIS WORKS!
Positive self talk on a daily basis WILL change your life for the better. You CAN do it!
GO for it!!
Hey, I hated being anxious and having panic attacks all the time and being agoraphobic and getting depressed and not being able to drive by myself. It was awful. Many years of it. I was so good at beating myself up that I could have won an award for it. Depressing award that would have been.
WANT it, work at it, it's worth the time and energy!!
God bless and huge hugs to you.
KDLady,
I could now write you a list pages and pages long of positive replacement thoughts.
Know why?
Because I had to learn how to do this for myself to get rid of the constant, intense panic attacks, the negative thinking habits, the ongoing anxiety, the bouts of depression and the complete debilitating fear of driving that I USED to experience on a daily basis.
It's awesome; the support and encouragement we all can get from this website, but the bottom line is -
we have to WANT to help ourselves and work at it with our whole hearts and minds to get the results we need to get.
Is it hard at times? Yep, it is. But fun too when we start seeing the positive results along the way. Step by step, moment by moment .
Are we fed up with our negative thoughts and feelings? Of course we are.
Do we all want to live a healthier, more comfortable, more content life? Yes!!!
Are we really wanting to change and get rid of those dependent, negative habits?
Are we more comfy just staying the way we are and therefore justifying our misery with our negative thoughts like "It's not gonna work"?
THIS time going through the program,
Go easy on yourself!!!!!
Really.Congratulate yourself for every little step you complete!!!
Congratulate yourself for ordering this program in the first place. That was a big step!
Work at it step by step and don't skip anything because you think you might not need ALL the sessions. Believe me, every session is there in a specific order and needs to be completed to get the most out of the program. If you think one doesn't apply to you, I'll bet it applies to someone else in your life and you can learn from it, and benefit from it.
Practice the steps from session #3 as often as possible throughout the whole program.
Get the book What to Say When You Talk To Yourself by Shad Helmstetter to help yourself with replacing those negative thoughts. It's recommended in the workbook and is an awesome little, inexpensive book. Order it online from this website. Just takes a couple of days to get it. TONS of examples of positive, replacement thoughts in this little book.
When you find yourself coming up with those negative, self-defeating thoughts like "It's not working" HOLD UP THAT STOP SIGN AND say something like "Oh yeah, I'll make this work and nothing is going to stop me!"
If you can't think of a positive replacement right away --
THAT'S OK!!! Just tell yourself to "knock it off" and put up the stop sign and get busy doing something productive. Anything.
You may not completely "get good at" session #3 until you completely finish the program. The whole concept of positive, replacement thinking makes more sense and becomes easier as we go along. It takes time. So what? The healing starts and continues, it really does, as we're learning.
Start relying more on yourself to come up with the positives. They're right there and not one of them has to be perfect!!!!
Know this - You WILL get great at the skills taught in this program. Tell yourself that every day.
Yep, at first you may not believe it. BUT
Your mind WILL accept what you repeatedly tell it, if you say it often enough and strongly enough.(from the book mentioned above)
That goes for those awesome, positive, empowering thoughts. THIS WORKS!
Positive self talk on a daily basis WILL change your life for the better. You CAN do it!
GO for it!!
Hey, I hated being anxious and having panic attacks all the time and being agoraphobic and getting depressed and not being able to drive by myself. It was awful. Many years of it. I was so good at beating myself up that I could have won an award for it. Depressing award that would have been.
WANT it, work at it, it's worth the time and energy!!
God bless and huge hugs to you.
-
Guest
Hello KDlady.
First of all, the positives and negatives should be complete sentences. Then the positives has to be something you can believe.
Imagine someone that you love going through what you're going through, what would you say to them to make them feel comforted? That is what you say to yourself. Obviously that would be what would comfort you or you wouldn't try to comfort someone else with it. You wouldn't feel it would work for them.
Try for example:
Neg: "I hate that i'm like this and have to replace at all"
Pos: "No, the work may not be fun but this is important for me to get better and it's not a bad thing to work for something so important".
Neg:"I want to be normal and not be scared of my thoughts and feelings".
Pos:"The more I work on myself , the better i'm feeling and some day I'll be feeling great".
Neg:"The program is not working"
Pos:"The program does work but I have to relax and think positive and do what I need to do to make it work for me".
Neg:"The program is too hard and will never rid me of this junk"
Pos:"Things worth working for usually require hard work and i'm worth working for and the more I work on myself the better i'm going to get".
Keep trying. We all have been in the mind-set you are in right now but you have to snap out of it and work on your program. It does work. It worked for me and if you try harder, it'll work for you, too.
Take care. DeeDee.
First of all, the positives and negatives should be complete sentences. Then the positives has to be something you can believe.
Imagine someone that you love going through what you're going through, what would you say to them to make them feel comforted? That is what you say to yourself. Obviously that would be what would comfort you or you wouldn't try to comfort someone else with it. You wouldn't feel it would work for them.
Try for example:
Neg: "I hate that i'm like this and have to replace at all"
Pos: "No, the work may not be fun but this is important for me to get better and it's not a bad thing to work for something so important".
Neg:"I want to be normal and not be scared of my thoughts and feelings".
Pos:"The more I work on myself , the better i'm feeling and some day I'll be feeling great".
Neg:"The program is not working"
Pos:"The program does work but I have to relax and think positive and do what I need to do to make it work for me".
Neg:"The program is too hard and will never rid me of this junk"
Pos:"Things worth working for usually require hard work and i'm worth working for and the more I work on myself the better i'm going to get".
Keep trying. We all have been in the mind-set you are in right now but you have to snap out of it and work on your program. It does work. It worked for me and if you try harder, it'll work for you, too.
Take care. DeeDee.