Why do we do this??

CG822 · Post by **CG822** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 11:23 am

How is it that you convince yourself of something? How can we possibly do that? Then become obsessed with the thought??

How does this happen>?> Its so amazing in a sick way! Is it from being scared of it that you think of it so much??

hmm...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Oct 30, 2008 11:35 am

It sounds good to you, and you want your belief/idea to be justified by others. Until then, you/we are obsessed with finding others to justify it with. Make sense to you? Sounds good to me. Will you justify my craziness, too?! haha

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Oct 31, 2008 7:33 pm

These thoughts dont sound good to me!! at all!! I do not want to think them, or convince anyone to think them!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Oct 31, 2008 10:13 pm

Originally posted by CG822:
How is it that you convince yourself of something? How can we possibly do that? Then become obsessed with the thought??

How does this happen>?> Its so amazing in a sick way! Is it from being scared of it that you think of it so much??

hmm...

Because somewhere along the line we have lost our coping skills and we tend to have low self-esteem so we obsess and worry about things in which we "think" could happen or in which we might do. We have lost control of our emotions and therefore lose control of our thoughts. This is essentially how we get to this "Y" in the road. Instead of thinking negative often w/ repetitive/obsessive thoughts and not coping well w/ stresses; we should be reminding ourselves that we can replce this negativity w/ a positive.
It's a matter of coping skills.
If we tell ourselves we are going to hurt our loved one's or we are scared of all strangers so don't go out, I'm not goodlooking enough, I'm stupid, I'm not worthy of others attention or love, I'm too fat or whatever(anything negative); then we have to tell ourselves immediately that this is plain silly and we are worthy of a good life, love and freedom.

Basically, we are fulling ourselves because our coping has gone awry (in which can be caused by stress, loss, trauma, low self esteem and constant worry).
Learning to replace your neg. thought(s) w/ a good one is "key". Learning to cope again is the "skill" we must gain again and practice. Hence, the cognitive and behavioral therapy offered by StressCenter via tapes/cd's and booklets/flashcards.
This is what the program can help teach you. Some of us have never had many coping skills so we basically ran from the problems in our lives w/ drugs, alcohol, excessive sugar, caffeine, irrational thinking, eating too much & other things not lised.
We end up telling ourselves bad things so often because we feel guilty for our "going overboard" and it becomes a "chronic/ongoing, inner negative self talk".
I hope this helps. I have learned a lot from this program and I am only on week 4 out of 15.
This is an ongoing work though. It doesn't just end after 15 weeks, not really. We have to keep practicing what we learn and USE THE TOOLS IT TEACHES US ON A DAILY {momemt to moment?} BASIS.

Read well, listen well, learn well and practice makes....living "well" {healthy coping and thinking}.

Sincerely,

Ancilee Kaye

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 11:35 am

thank u for ur responce, I am obsessing over heatlh anxieties. I think that the littlest things are terminal. I have a horrible fear of HIV, it started when I had an infection and just blew it up to be sooo horrible when in turn in was nothing at all. How did I let it get this way? Im doing a lot of negative self talk and journaling, it helps, but not tha tmuch. I want to scream, the anxiety body symptoms are getting worse by the day. I have had plenty of meds but I dont know why I dont take them? I need to find another good psychologist.

Thanks for ur help!!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 11:36 am

positive self talk...not negative***

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Nov 05, 2008 8:32 pm

Originally posted by CG822:
How did I let it get this way? Im doing a lot of negative self talk and journaling, it helps, but not tha tmuch. I want to scream, the anxiety body symptoms are getting worse by the day. I have had plenty of meds but I dont know why I dont take them? I need to find another good psychologist.

Thanks for ur help!!

Perhaps you didn't really "want" the help so you didn't even try the meds at all? I know that I take a medicine called cymbalta but there really isn't a medicine cure for anxiety and how we think. It's how we think daily, moment to moment and how we talk to ourselves in our minds all the time.
Also, nothing is going to work overnight yeah know? So just keep on practicing positive self talk in your mind and cut out ALL the bad sh*t..lol. I know it isn't easy all the time.

I am my own worst enemy so take it from me...
I am learning quicker then I thought I would though, to overcome much and it "is" working.
I just have to do it and do it and do it or else I will slip and start that negative rollercoaster again!! So every single dang painful time we tell ourselves some lie, we have to replace it w/ a good thought, ok?

I finally have been getting out of the house for 3 weeks straight and finally went to the dang park and walked my dogs w/ no makeup on even..LOL. I always thought that I didn't look good enough to go out and would obsess on it. I then would get nervous around people because they stare at me and it make me very uncomfortable in my own skin.
Why? Because I was a fool for falling for the paranoia and negative garbage.I was fooling myself and believing it because of things that were brought on me, way to much trauma for me in my past and young life/childhood/teens.
I over reacted and obsessed about many things.

Taking the focus off of ourselves also helps. I walk now w/ my dogs and I watch funny shows on tv, go out to eat or anything to keep myself from obsessing on the bad or my horrible traumatic past.
Has anything stressful happened to you lately that could throw you into this way of being? Like I said, we can just be very stressed about things in our lives and simply over react. It can be as simple as that.

Crave · Post by **Crave** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 4:26 am

I took cymbalta for a while. it helped. Nothing really that bad has happened. i lead a pretty good life. I've been more realistic and I do a ton of positive self talk. Its getting better! I go to a psychologist next week. I know I have to help myself, thats where it all begins. I notice that when I am out of my comfort zone, I get really anxious. I don't like that. I ever use to get like this. This all started when I was in a relationship. It was a bad one, he made me feel scared of him. He reallly did. I always thought he was going to do something horrible like hit me. It was crazy, I know I am a strong woman and I dont take sh*t from men at all but he triggered something in me. Ill never understand it.