Rehearsing Angry Situations -- Some Fictitious!

Worry_wort · Post by **Worry_wort** » Sat Jun 14, 2008 7:40 am

Greetings -- Has anyone ever found themselves in a situation where they daydream and rehearse future angry encounters or fictitious encounters? I am a victim of a lot of injustice, mainly from people in authority -- parent, bosses, etc.

Sometimes, I just lose it and ponder what I would say to someone in authority if they did this and I said this, and they said this, etc. -- and in all these encounters, I suceed, for once. I find that the anger in these "situation" seems very real and there is a lot of anxiety, etc. and probably a lot of adrenolin. I suspect poor self esteem has a lot to do with this as well.

I try to catch myself, and stop. Somemtimes, I am successful, but most of the times I get carried away with this, totally losing m7yself in this.

What does one do?.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jun 14, 2008 7:58 am

"daydream and rehearse future angry encounters or fictitious encounters"

Every single day.

Be very careful with this one, it has lead to violent outbursts, and more recently, the start of paranoia.

baby_g · Post by **baby_g** » Sat Jun 14, 2008 8:33 am

I honestly do this, too. And I'm really glad to know I'm not the only one who does. I find that I do this when I do something 'wrong' and I'm worried about what other people are going to say about it. I honestly think that it's me being defensive subconsciously, but I will sit and hold entire conversations in my head going back and forth, often times saying things in these fantasies that I would NEVER actually say. I think it's a preparation thing and we often times assume the worst is going to happen. I just asked my roommate, who doesn't have anxiety issues, if she does this, and she said she does. I'm thinking a lot of people do. As human beings we just want to feel prepared and we want as little people as possible to be mad at us, so we come up with scenarios in our head. Give yourself some slack, I think a lot of people do this.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat Jun 14, 2008 3:41 pm

I do this ALL the time! I thought I was the only one who did things like this. I take this as far as having arguments in my head with my mother, imagining what she would say to a situation I know she wouldn't like, then having a full blown argument with her, getting just as mad and upset as if it were real. And my mother's been dead for over eight years now! LOL I think its a part of our overactive imagination. The same one that creates all the 'what if' thinking and obsessive thoughts. I just try to make sure that I win these fictitious arguments as much as possible.

I think its also a little bit of the way we'd like to see ourselves. Standing up for things, tough, hard to push around. Kind of the opposite of the way most of us probably are.

BTTRFLY · Post by **BTTRFLY** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 3:07 am

I don't find myself in future circumstances but in past things that have taken place. I have not had much of this until the last few days. Some old stuff about my sister in law and what she said. What got me "caught" in all of this was not forgiving and letting it go. I would replay it over and over in my mind, telling her what I thought and at times getting very angry. I realize now that all of this was simply not forgiving and letting it go. I still wanted justice. The last few days I have simply stated to the thoughts that my SIL is forgiven, it's over. What she thinks of me doesn't matter anyway. I realize that this will put a stop to the unwanted thoughts.

I would suggest that you may be angry about past events and this has caused the scenarios in your head. Either confronting the offenders and being assertive and standing up for yourself then choosing to let it go, or choosing to forgive your offenders and let the past events go will resolve the unresolved anger.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 3:55 am

lol, I do that too, sometimes I feel it os the minds way of letting some stress out instead of you actually doing it. No fears. All will be fine!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 4:22 am

I've had this happen also and always thought it was the strangest thing. I've noticed though that when my thoughts have been more consistently positive it doesn't happen. I also noticed that if I had been feeling victimized in any way (either by lack of money at the time, or thru relationships) it happened more.

Cgirl1 · Post by **Cgirl1** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 4:39 am

I've been doing this since I was a child. I'm so relieved to know that I'm not the only one and that I'm not nuts. I haven't figured out what to do about it yet. I'm sure Lucinda's program will probably show me in time. Thanks for the post!

Chrissy1 · Post by **Chrissy1** » Sun Jun 15, 2008 4:49 am

I remember one day I was leaving out the house but then forgot something and had to come back. I came in the front door only to hear my sister screaming and yelling at somebody in a mid-high voice (almost like she was arguing with someone on the phone and didn't want anyone to hear her). So I came upstairs to see if everything was ok only to find her standing in the mirror practicing arguing! She felt sooooo embarassed and didn't know what to say.

I don't think I've rehearsed arguments, not that I can remember, but I do play scenarios in my mind about things to come, and thinking negatively about these scenarios or seeing a bad outcome will conjure up fear and anxiety and keep me from going somewhere. I feel your pain. But yeah, I agree with Don57. I think this comes from unforgiveness and repressed/supressed anger. I believe one key to a healthy and balanced life is learning how to communicate your thoughts intelligently and clearly (not arguing and harsh speech) to a person that might have done you wrong, hopefully in the moment that it happens. Anger happens. There's no gettting around that. It's your reaction to anger that will determine if you will look like a fool or a person who has learned to control their tongue and their thoughts. I heard a quote that changed my thinking on anger... "he who angers you controls you". Don't let people dictate how you will feel... they get a kick out of that and will continue to do it if they see they can rouse you up. Just fake it till you make it and I guarantee whoever is angering you will leave you alone once they see they can't control you like a puppet on a string. Oh yeah, not everybody is like that. Stay away from people like that because they're compensating for their own lack, whatever it may be. Get around people who encourage you and who notice your faults but don't put them on blast.

Carolyn Dickman · Post by **Carolyn Dickman** » Mon Jun 16, 2008 12:40 am

I have done this before, not sure if it's healthy or not, so if anyone has an opnion on that please let me know. I, at the time, felt as if I was doing something negative.