If anyone has been following anything about me as who I am now or as Staying Positive, they might remember that I have written in on palpitations and pvc problems and questions. Well, a few weeks ago my care provider suggested that I wear a 48 hour heart monitor to rule out anything that might be bad. The whole idea of wearing a monitor scared me and wouldn't you know it, I had a panic attack while it was on and some other anxious moments I guess. They said once they get it back, if they saw anything really bad, they'd call me right away. Weeks went by and I started to think, well good- no news is good news in this case. I was feeling good and going about my business w/o feeling anxious or anything and then I got a phone call this past Monday from my care provider and she left a message saying she wanted to go over my monitor results with me. It made me nervous but remembering that they didn't call me right away, I tried to remaine calm. She got a hold of me at 5:30 pm and thank goodness I wasn't home alone. She didn't really like what she saw and wanted to refer me to a cardiologist. Well, Holy Sh*t! My worst fear is coming true. In a minute, I went from happy and cooking dinner to completely defeated and freaked out. And it hurt to. I started to ache all over immediatley. So I told My care provider the next morning that I had a horrible night and the worst thing for someone with anxiety is to have to sit and wait for 2 weeks to see a DR. And they got me in for Wednesday (yesterday) and I was so scared. Since the phone call, my heart was fluttering and flip-floping- I tried to remaine as objective as I could, that we' we're just ruling things out. I saw the Dr. And he explained to me as best he could, he wants me to go on Topral XL (ANYONE ON THIS?) because he wants to try to keep my heart beat down, but the only time it was really high was when I was having my panic attack and it reached 160 beats per minute. Another time, it was around an anxious time I think, it was 130 but they weren't concerned about that time. And I don't think that at any other time my heart rate was really above "normal". However, when I was anxious, I guess I have what they call Bygemeny? and I'm still not 100% what it is exactly, but I know that stress, anxiety and tobacco and alcohol can cause it along with other things, like actual heart problems I guess. I feel I only have irregular heart beats when I'm anxious or stressed or the like. Maybe that's only when I really notice it. So yesterday, while they had me there, they did and ECHO on me. And since they could get me in right away, they are going to do a stress test on me today, which will include and ECHO. I cried through the Echo yesterday, feeling scared and sorry for myself. I'm 32 yrs old. The first thing the Dr said when he walked in the room is,"You're too young to be here." You're telling me, I felt like saying. So, he also said that if they don't find anything, and I still have problems he'll want to do and angiogram on me. GEEZ!!!
And they also mentioned that there are seeing if I have a Prolapsed-mitrovalve, and the only reason I have any idea what that is because Dr. Fisher mentions it on the tape. So, I'm nervous about going on Topral XL. And I'm wondering if that the only reason I'm having these symptoms (heart fluttering and flip-flopping) is because of my stress and anxiety and not an actual heart problem, that if I go on an anxiety medication to keep me from having panic attacks, then I won't have to go on Topral XL, because my heart beats won't be getting up to 160? I'm confused about this all myself. I'm actually scared about it all. I'm tryin my darndest to just float with it all, but I don't want to die and I'm not ready to leave my little babies yet, or my husband or my life. I don't feel like I trust my care provider, she's really nice but she's just a Physician's assistant, I don't know if I trust the cardiologist that I saw yesterday because he's looking at it as just heart problems, I told him all about my anxiety and panic attacks, but it's like it didn't phase him. And maybe, I'm just being scared and just not trusting anyone. yOU KNOW, i'D REALLY LIKE TO TALK WITH AND go SEE Dr. Fisher himself. I think I'd feel a lot more trusting in him since he is so up on anxiety and panic. I just pray that The Lord will just take this away. It's so unreal to me. Last year at this time I was absolutley "normal" with none of this, no heart issues or anxiety issues at all and then one night changed my entire life and just flipped it up side down. What the H*LL!!! I could use any words of encouragment, words of how I should be appraoching this, prayers and any experiences that you may have had. I wish this was just a bad dream and that i could just wake up!!!