Worry about my kids?

celeron · Post by **celeron** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 8:22 am

I would really need a manual on parenting as I really don't have a clue, add that to my anxiety and all I do is worry worry worry and dwell on things, Things I should of done better, things I shouldn't have done etc, My wife takes all in her stride, How would you deal with this problem as its doing my head in?

Basically my son (4) is getting picked on by another kid (7) in our estate. Its summer, he wants to be outside on his bike, out at the green in front of our house, There is this other kid, on Sunday I caught him go over to my son and push him of his bike, Yesterday I saw him run away with my sons bike and take it down to a busy road so my son would have to get it, today out the window I again saw him push my son I have went out, and when I do the little $hit legs it. My sons not to bothered as he's at the age where he see's the good in everyone and thinks its all a big game but I am not going to let this continue, I know where this child gets it from, His father is well know around here for being a bit of thug so I don't really want to get involved with him, but I don't know what to do. I got bulled as a child and nothing was done, and it built up and built up unitl I eventually lost it one day and took into the bully with a metal chair at school and it didn't matter a damn I was getting bullied I was the one in the wrong and got suspended.

Vegasmomof4 · Post by **Vegasmomof4** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:24 am

Is it possible to go to the mother if the father is unreasonable? You have every right to defend your child. If I saw someone doing that to my 3 year old or 5 year old, I would not let it go. Smack the father with a chair if he needs it! Stand up for yourself and your child. You can do it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:49 am

Originally posted by hawaiihereicome:
Is it possible to go to the mother if the father is unreasonable? You have every right to defend your child. If I saw someone doing that to my 3 year old or 5 year old, I would not let it go. Smack the father with a chair if he needs it! Stand up for yourself and your child. You can do it.

Well I thought about that but then I don't want to create a bad atmosphere as we are not long moved in. So I think the best option is if I keep him in the back yard, He only has another 3 weeks and then he's back to school anyway and in another month or 2 it will be dark in the evenings

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 8:35 pm

Celeron,

Maybe you could invite the kid over...or take him and your son to get ice cream or something. Then talk to him. Instead of yelling at him...tell him that you have noticed him doing that. That you don't know what is going on with him to make him act that way, or if there is something going on at home. Tell him that you really want him and your son to get along, and would like to be able to depend on him to "look out for" your son when they are playing since he's so much bigger and "more responsible." Tell him if he ever needs anything he is welcome at your home and to just let you know, etc.
Perhaps this "love" approach will give him a change of heart..and the other, that he is the bigger kid and can watch out for your son, will make him feel good. I've noticed when you speak to the positive attributes in people, and you believe in them, they try to live up to your expectations...and they begin to believe in themselves.
Good luck.

epa · Post by **epa** » Wed Aug 13, 2008 5:18 am

celeron,

Dealing with kids' stuff, especially nowadays is so hard. Now, I am not saying this is right but here's what I would do. First, I would walk up to this child when he's outside (preferebly when he's done something but you said he runs away) and I would give him my meanest look and tell him that if he doesn't stop bullying and picking on your child, you are going to his mom and dad. If that doesn't "scare" the kid, I would go up to ANY of his parents no matter what their reputation and tell them that if they don't talk to and control their kid from doing these things to your boy, you'll find another way to deal with it, even using the authorities. I know, sounds harsh, but this type of stuff really pisses me off b/c so many parents today do not take responsibility for their kid's actions. They have so many excuses and then they don't want to parent their children b/c they want to be their "friend."

When my son was 4, (he's turning 7 in one week), you're right, he also saw the good in everyone and at the time I didn't realize that really is an age thing. I worried that he would be the type of kid to be pushed around because of that. (He's also very big for his age now and since he was born!) But, as you'll soon find out, I am so glad that now he knows when people are treating him bad or using sarcasum sp?. So, what I am trying to explain is, you'll have to fight some of this battles for now for him, but not for long. I always tell my kids to never bully anyone, but always stick up for yourself b/c if you don't, nobody will.

This kid sounds like he knows he can get away with this b/c no one will punish him and that your son is younger. your son is vulnerable to him. Let it be your job, for now, to let this kid know that this ain't gonna happen and that if his parents don't punish him, then his parents will get a good talking to also. Good Luck.